I have a problem with holidays: they're too short.
Christmas is the exception, since with all the celebrating that goes on around that holiday, it extends far longer than a single day. But all the other holidays are only 24 hours! Much, much, too short.
So, I extend them. BirthDAYS turn into birthWEEKS. Thanksgiving Day gets lengthened so that for the whole month of November, I'm intentionally focused on celebrating gratitude and blessing-counting. And now, with Valentine's Day approaching, I'm planning to do something similar and salute love during the entire month of February. I'm certainly not the only blogger to do this: for example, Jolanthe at No Ordinary Moments has a great love meme going on this month. But here's my twist on the theme: every day this month (that's the plan anyway), I will do a post that includes two things--first, a quote from somebody wise or witty or famous about love, and second, an excerpt from the love letters that Jeff has sent me in the past. I recently got out a box of them from our garage; and as I brushed aside the spiderwebs and blew away the dust on the outside of the box, I tingled with excitement. I always knew that man was romantic; but oh my stars, what treasures he has given me through words! I'm eager to uncover more gems as I go through this month; and in so doing, to remember again the sweet moments we've shared through the years and to feel my love and appreciation for him grow. Not that it was ever diminishing!
When I first considered doing this theme, I hesitated, unsure of whether sharing these words of love would build anyone else up. To be honest, I'm still a little hesitant. The last thing I want to do is cause other women to struggle with envy, imagining that somehow my life is better than theirs and that I don't have any problems and that I lie around in a bed of roses with Jeff feeding me chocolate-covered strawberries...or something ridiculous like that. I'm especially aware of the fact that my single friends may have a hard time this month. When all around, they see red hearts and hear love songs, is it not difficult to remain content and trusting? (Is it not difficult for any of us to remain content and trusting, since at any given time, there is always something in life that we wish would change?)
In the midst of my thoughts about this, I remembered something from my days of helping to lead a singles' ministry in San Diego. A number of times, single women said to me, "Please don't hold back from giving and receiving affection to and from Jeff when we're around. We are actually encouraged when we see a Godly couple showing us an example of how a marriage should look!"
Because of that...and because I want my boys to someday read this and learn from it how to be an incredible husband...and because this blog is, first and foremost, my own personal journal...I decided to go ahead with this. I'm planning to have a lot of fun with it as the memories wash over me and as gratitude wells up in my heart. ;-)
Without further ado, my February theme (although I'm certain I'll also write posts about other topics, because around here, the blog-worthy moments never stop!)...
When I first considered doing this theme, I hesitated, unsure of whether sharing these words of love would build anyone else up. To be honest, I'm still a little hesitant. The last thing I want to do is cause other women to struggle with envy, imagining that somehow my life is better than theirs and that I don't have any problems and that I lie around in a bed of roses with Jeff feeding me chocolate-covered strawberries...or something ridiculous like that. I'm especially aware of the fact that my single friends may have a hard time this month. When all around, they see red hearts and hear love songs, is it not difficult to remain content and trusting? (Is it not difficult for any of us to remain content and trusting, since at any given time, there is always something in life that we wish would change?)
In the midst of my thoughts about this, I remembered something from my days of helping to lead a singles' ministry in San Diego. A number of times, single women said to me, "Please don't hold back from giving and receiving affection to and from Jeff when we're around. We are actually encouraged when we see a Godly couple showing us an example of how a marriage should look!"
Because of that...and because I want my boys to someday read this and learn from it how to be an incredible husband...and because this blog is, first and foremost, my own personal journal...I decided to go ahead with this. I'm planning to have a lot of fun with it as the memories wash over me and as gratitude wells up in my heart. ;-)
Without further ado, my February theme (although I'm certain I'll also write posts about other topics, because around here, the blog-worthy moments never stop!)...
One quick note about the quotes I'll share this month: most--but not all--of them come from a little book by H. Norman Wright, Quiet Moments for Couples. I'll begin with a well-known one...
The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
~ Victor Hugo
And now, an excerpt from a letter Jeff wrote to me, very shortly before I left Israel at the end of the semester in which we met. At this point in time, neither of us thought our relationship had a chance; and a disconsolate Jeff sat down to write his farewell. A sad letter to begin this series, to be sure, but what depth of love and longing it shows. And how joyful to know the outcome of the story, nearly 15 wonderful years later!
The Eighth of May, 1996
To my Most Dear Davene -
This is probably the hardest letter I have ever had to write; actually, I know it is. I am struggling with so many emotions: pain, grief, memories--and how should I all of the sudden shut it off? Of course, you will be gone; I will see you last in the airport; our final embrace--you will step onto the plane and the spell over you will be broken. You will think it was all just a dream, not real.
...
O Davene, what can I say? What can I do? What can I hope for? I am a fool. I have loved you as strongly as I have ever known, and have tried with every fibre of my mind, body, and soul to pour this love out on you. I have failed like the serf longing after the princess. I am but history to you, when I strove to make our memories to be written on one parchment. Yet, what do my words mean to you now? I am the fading pages of a romance novel once read; I am the sweet savor only once tasted; I am the horizon over the place only once seen. I am not real to you anymore.
"Seize the day," Jonathan has told me. But it can not be seized when it is tomorrow. Tomorrow can not suck the life's marrow out of yesterday. You are tomorrow; I am yesterday - they shall never be together. If only we could live today.
...
As you know, I gave you no significant tangible gift; maybe you expected one at the airport. (Not even a bracelet!) But, as we discussed before, I wanted to give you something permanent; not just fond memories, but my heart and an invitation that all that is mine would be yours.
...
With a love that is forever,
Jeffrey Robert Fisher
3 comments:
What a beautiful letter! I too love to make the holidays longer!!
I think I will enjoy this! Andrew and I wrote a lot during our courtship (which really wasn't so long, we had known each other for 11 years), but I think a lot of our communication was e-mail. I believe I still have it in my in box. Ahhhh...sweet memories, but I love all of our todays and am looking forward to lots of tomorrows!
This letter was so touching and personal! It's hard to believe, when I read words like that, that you hadn't already decided to marry. Jeff is an amazing and beautiful writer. Wow.
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