Monday, October 31, 2016

And Now He Wants One {Josiah & the Ukulele}

One of Josiah's friends from choir, a guy named Jonathan, owns a ukulele; and he has kindly been letting a few people borrow it for a week at a time.  Last week, Josiah came home with it and has greatly enjoyed learning to play it a little this week.  :)
Here is a small part of his rendition of "You Are My Sunshine."  :)
And now, as these things go, Josiah would like a ukulele of his own.  :)

"Put it on your Christmas list!" we always say when presented with such requests.  A ukulele's not a bad thing to be hoping for.

Not a bad thing at all.  :)

Sunday, October 30, 2016

October Is Leaving with Utmost Grace

It's not always this way; but this year, summer's warmth has lingered so much that here we are at the end of October, and there have only been a handful of times when I've needed to build a fire in our woodstove.  We may have had a touch of frost a time or two, but not a hard killing one.  The grass is still green, and outdoor playtime is still most enjoyable.

The only downside to all of this lovely warmth is that, without cold temperatures to help the color change, the leaves on the trees are not their most brilliant.  But this year, I don't mind trading vibrant color for increased savings on heating costs; I sure haven't burned much of our wood supply!  :)

Tobin would mention another downside if he were writing this post.  The other day, he prayed that it would get really cold so that all the weeds in his garden would die!  ;-)

Meanwhile, the rest of us don't mind the warmth...and being outside without jackets...and having bare feet.

Yesterday, David took Benjamin on the trampoline (a first, I think?), and both boys were as happy as clams.  Benjamin loves to sit on a soft surface, like a bed, and bounce, so the trampoline was a perfect place for him to hang out...and David, who knows to be very careful with his littlest brother, was the perfect person to watch over him.  :)





Another gift that this end of October brought us was my mother's presence with us today for lunch after church.  To think that just a week and a half ago, she had her fall and spent several days in the hospital, and now here she is, able to be with us--well, it's a marvel!

Since we hadn't been able to have her customary birthday cake--homemade angel food cake--last week, we made up for it today.  :)

Life has been extra sweet, as October of 2016 bids us farewell.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

I Shall Be Random, Vol. 12

 ~ 1 ~

This past summer, Josiah developed a new love: composing music.  He spent HOURS arranging pieces and writing new ones, and he especially enjoyed using Noteflight because he could compose for a wide variety of instruments and then listen to how it would sound.  

When I was in college, I did a little composing; I think all of us music majors had to try our hand at it.  I did fine with it, but never came close to approaching Josiah's aptitude and love for music composition.  He amazes me for a few reasons...

First, he's significantly younger than I was when I composed.  Second, he doesn't know music theory NEARLY as well as I did, and yet he's able to compose music that sounds really, really beautiful, even without the theoretical knowledge behind it.  Third, I limited my music composition/arranging to instruments that I knew well: piano, voice, violin, guitar, a little flute.  That's about it.  Josiah composes for all kinds of different instruments: woodwinds, brass, string, percussion, etc.  His lack of knowledge about the instruments doesn't make him shy away from any of them. Fourth, he composes so quickly!  He can sit down at the computer, start writing, and within a few hours have a pretty decent piece.  Sometimes he makes revisions the next day, and sometimes he even goes back some days or weeks down the road and changes a few things in his pieces; but usually, the process doesn't take him long at all.

It is fascinating to me to watch this gift of Josiah's emerge!


~ 2 ~

We are all big fans of Josiah's music and are very used to hearing it blare forth from the computer speakers.  But last Wednesday, a new piece that Josiah was composing brought forth an unusual reaction from Benjamin.

Josiah was at the computer in the living room, working on his piece; and Benjamin was in the high chair in the kitchen.  The piece, called "Windscape," began with some basic percussion, but then the flute comes in with a mournful tune; and it actually uses a kind of electronic bend that wouldn't be entirely possible in real life.  ;-)  I happened to glance over at Benjamin and saw his dear little face wrinkle up as he began to cry.  I was getting ready to get him out of the high chair anyway, so I didn't think too much of it--maybe he was just tired of being confined and so he fussed because of that.  But I wondered...

And then Josiah started playing "Windscape" again, and the exact thing happened.  The percussion section didn't elicit a reaction; but as soon as the flute part began, Benjamin jerked his head around, his face wrinkled up, he leaned closer to me to bury his head in my shoulder, and he wailed.

"That CAN'T be just a coincidence," I thought.  "I've heard of babies who have a strong emotional response to a certain song or certain types of music, but I haven't seen anything quite like that in my own babies."

We waited a little, then repeated the experiment; and sure enough, as soon as the scooping flute came in, Benjamin's reaction was the same, and he ended in tears.

This was curious enough to me that I wanted to capture it on video, so I asked David to try to record Benjamin's reaction while being inconspicuous.  We all tried to act normal while Josiah played his song yet again; this was the fourth time.  Benjamin's reaction is recorded below.
Part of me felt sorry for my dear little boy who was so moved by Josiah's song, but the other part of me was so thoroughly amused that I could barely keep from laughing.  Most of all, I was so intrigued by Benjamin's reaction.  For four times, when he heard measure 9 in "Windscapes," his facial expression and body language repeated, ending in a cry.

After David took the video, he held it up to me so I could see it; and as Benjamin heard the music on the video, he repeated the reaction again!  Clearly, something in it really bothered him.

It must have been a day or two later.  Jeff and I were upstairs in our room with Benjamin on the bed between us while Josiah was in the living room at the computer, working on this piece.  As soon as it began to play, Benjamin's ears perked up, so to speak, and he was alert and tuned in to it.  But that time he didn't cry.  Maybe he had gotten used to it, or maybe he wasn't troubled by it because he was further away from it and it wasn't so loud, or maybe he felt secure because he was close to his daddy and was looking right at Jeff.  Who knows?  In any case, it sure was interesting to see how moved he had been by that song!

~ 3 ~

They say misfortunes come in threes, and I'm inclined to believe them.  You see, earlier this week, our toilet malfunctioned, and the water wouldn't automatically fill into the tank to allow another flush.  Jeff said he could fix it and would pick up the parts on Wednesday, which happened to be the day we realized that our washing machine was toast.  It would fill with water and drain, but wouldn't spin or agitate.  Jeff looked around online but couldn't find anything for less than $400, so he went to the appliance and building supply part of Mercy House thrift store and found a used one for $125.  When he got home with that, I reluctantly said, "I really hate to tell you this, but I can't get the vacuum to work."  I had used it that very morning, and it did fine; but the next time I plugged it in, it wouldn't turn on at all.  Jeff took it apart and looked at it until he discovered the problem--some carbon piece that does something or other in the motor or some such thing--then, for a temporary solution, used a small carbon piece that came from an old set of barber clippers, and then the vacuum turned on.  

In one day, Jeff was a plumber, an electrician, and an appliance repair person.

The next day, I think he was happy to go be a barber again.  ;-)

I know I was happy to have a functioning vacuum, washing machine, and toilet again!!!  I'm so glad I married him!  :)


~ 4 ~

Tobin reached a huge milestone yesterday, and I would be remiss if I didn't make mention of it here.

Do you remember when I, more than three years ago, wrote about the difficulties he was having in learning to read?  And do you remember when, a year and a half ago, he achieved the feat of officially reading his first book?  Well, since that time, he has improved greatly; but it's been a long, slow journey.  As a matter of fact, it wasn't until he turned eight--this incident literally happened either on his birthday or right around it--that, for the first time, instead of saying, "I can't read," which was his normal response when the subject came up, or "I can read a little," which was the response I had been teaching him to use, he said, "I can read--A LOT!"  

But one thing he hadn't done--because I hadn't required it or even really suggested it--was finishing the reading book we had used for Josiah's reading lessons and David's reading lessons and, yes, Tobin's reading lessons.  We had gotten to something like Lesson 89, but had set it aside and Tobin ended up reading from other books.  Nothing wrong with that, but it just felt a little...well...unfinished.  

His reading ability was such that he could have finished the reading book well before now; but as it turned out, yesterday was the day that he officially read it all the way to the end.  Lesson 100, completed!

It felt good to bring that part of his reading journey to a definite conclusion.  It wasn't always a smooth path, but there's joy and satisfaction in sticking with something and seeing it through to the end.  I'm proud of him.  

AND I'm excited to watch as he advances further and further in his reading!  :)


~ 5 ~

For some reason, the leaves on our trees and many of the trees around here are just not as brilliant this year as they are sometimes.  They're turning colors, but certainly not as splendidly as I've seen them other years.  I'm sure there are some very specific reasons for that, but I don't know them!  Maybe one of my scientist friends will enlighten me.  :)

The lack of gorgeous colors doesn't mean they're not fun to jump in though.  :)  I was watching from an upstairs window and captured this through the screen; that's the reason for the funny lines in it.




~ 6 ~

Last night, when our friends Ryan and Sarah were here, Moriah was SO excited about playing Spot It (I believe it was a first for her to be able to play it on her own); and she cracked us all up with how she played it.  She would, like you're supposed to, find an item on her card that matched the card on the pile in the middle; but the game moves so fast that by the time she did, three or four other cards would have been laid, thereby changing the top card and negating her match.  But she didn't understand that and would happily shout out "MOON!" or "HEART!" or whatever item she had found that had matched (three or four cards ago) and would place her card on the pile.  We were all getting such a kick out of her joy and enthusiasm that we let her mistakes slide and allowed her to keep playing her version; she even "won" a time or two.  :)  Soon enough, she'll learn to play it correctly; but she might never get quite as much pleasure from it as she did last night when she was so happy I thought she might burst.  :)



After that, we watched the movie Up together...and Ryan and Sarah got a taste of what a family with six kids does for fun.  They were good sports about it.  ;-)


~ 7 ~

There are certain passages of the Bible that nearly always make me cry when I read them, but Isaiah 6 is not one of them.  It IS, however, my first favorite section of the Bible; from a very early age, the description of the glory of the Lord and Isaiah's willingness to respond to God's call moved me deeply, but I didn't CRY about it.

Until a few days ago when I was reading it aloud to the kids from The Children's Bible as we began our homeschool day together.

All of a sudden, my throat got all choked up, and I blinked furiously to try to hold back the tears, and I tried to act like everything was normal...but couldn't.  David reached for the Bible and read it aloud while I sat there and tried not to bawl.  My goodness!

I'm not sure what affected my emotions so much this time.  My kids aren't either!  They're often puzzled by my teary eyes, but it's not really something I can explain.  If my sons happen to marry women who are quick to cry, maybe they'll have an extra measure of compassion and grace for them because they've seen their mother's eyes begin to water suspiciously so many times!  :)


~ 8 ~

One account in the Bible that does bring the tears almost every time I read it is the story of Joseph, but I don't want to talk about the tears part right now.  Instead, here are a few other things that stand out to me.

In Genesis 47:2, when Joseph chooses five of his brothers and presents them to Pharaoh, I always wonder, "Which ones?"  :)

Later in that chapter, Joseph presents his father Jacob to Pharaoh; and here is this mighty king of the powerful nation of Egypt and this old, weather-beaten, wandering shepherd.  Then Jacob blesses Pharaoh, and it seems to me that in the spiritual sense, all the power in the room shifts to Jacob at that point.

A couple chapters earlier, in Genesis 45:24, Joseph has revealed his identity to his brothers and is sending them back to get their father and wives and children and hurry back to Egypt.  Joseph, knowing well his brothers' natures, warns them as they go, "Don't quarrel on the way!"  And it always makes me chuckle.  :)

One other tidbit from this section of scripture...  Several weeks ago, I was away from Benjamin for the evening; and I really missed him.  I missed all my other family members that I wasn't with, too; but there was a heightened yearning for Benjamin as I drove home, eager to reunite with him.  On the way, I thought, "Isn't there a verse in the Bible somewhere that talks about someone whose life was bound up with their son's life?  I should look that up when I get home and discover who it's talking about."

And then out of the blue, it came to me; and I realized with a start that the person in the Bible who is described in such a beloved way is...Benjamin.

In Genesis 44:30, Judah is pleading with Joseph (whom he does not yet realize is Joseph but instead perceives to be this high-ranking official in Egypt) to let Benjamin return to Canaan and let Judah remain in Egypt as Joseph's slave, to atone for Benjamin's "wrong-doing" (which was, of course, fabricated to test the loyalty of the 10 older brothers).  Judah says, "So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy's life, sees that the boy isn't there, he will die."

I don't want to hold too tightly to my Benjamin's life.  I want to walk in trust that God loves him even more than I do and already has a great plan for his life.  And I don't want to imply that I don't have such attachment to my other kids because oh my word, do I ever!

But I'll just say this: in this aspect, I sure can identify with Jacob!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Three Quarters of a Century {Mother's Birthday!}

As my mother's 75th birthday approached, I talked with my dad and made some plans for how to celebrate--plans like having her come for dinner the day before her birthday (because on her birthday, my kids were involved in choir rehearsals, and we wouldn't have had a chance to all be around the table together) and making a homemade-from-scratch angel food cake (the kind of cake I ALWAYS make for her birthday).

None of my plans included her having a bad fall five days before her birthday, fracturing her skull, and spending most of four days in the hospital; and when those unexpected events happened, I assumed Mother would still be hospitalized and we would simply postpone the birthday celebration until a later date.  But then--thankfully!--she was able to be released earlier than we had been told; and by her birthday, she was back "home"--in a new-to-us area of Bridgewater Home.

On Monday afternoon, her actual birthday, the kids and I were delighted to take a couple balloons and some cards and go visit her.  And I think she was delighted to see us.  :)




After I had snapped these pictures, Mother leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of Shav's head, and then did the same to Tobin.  I've thought a lot recently about how, even though she's lived three quarters of a century now and has had Alzheimer's Disease for the last 13 or so years, she still demonstrates the fruits of the Spirit in beautiful abundance.  Her love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and so forth are still there, and that is a gift to all who come in contact with her.

I still haven't had a chance to make that angel food cake for Mother, but I plan to.  Even though her official birthday is over, we're still celebrating; and the remembrance of her recent injury makes her presence among us even sweeter.

Happy birthday, dearest Mother!  I'll love you forever!  ♥

Monday, October 24, 2016

Clutter, Be Gone! {Tobin's Dragon}

"We have too much stuff in this living room!" I exclaimed to my kids this morning.

As a matter of fact, we have too much stuff in nearly every room of our house (the possible exceptions being Benjamin's little room, which I keep fairly neat and organized, and the cellar, which has lots of stuff, virtually all of which is useful and life-giving).  

It's no surprise, I'm sure, that a family of eight individuals who all have various items that we particularly treasure would end up with TOO MUCH STUFF.  It may not be surprising, but it is bothersome, and today seemed a good day to tackle the clutter that had crept into the living room.

We started our official school day while we began the task.  While we listened to our memory verses and sang along, I helped the kids disassemble the many LEGO creations they had made during the previous week or 10 days; and then I shifted to reading aloud to them while they continued the job.  We read from the Bible, wrote in our gratitude journal, each took a turn to pray, and then read quite a bit from a book of Greek myths while they continued to take apart, sort, and put the LEGO pieces away in neat compartments.  Just dealing with the LEGO situation did a lot to help the room be less messy.

But there was more we could do, and my eye landed on this wooden dragon of Tobin's.  I forget which occasion we gave it to him for--a birthday or Christmas, I'm sure--but whenever it was, it most likely was put together by Jeff (oh, doesn't he just LOVE it when I give the kids gifts like these, that have a million, give or take a thousand, pieces?!).  ;-)  But then Tobin had the fun of painting it and playing with it, and it was good.

It had been a long time since he had really played with it, however, so I asked him if he would consider having some pictures with this dragon and then letting it go.  I figured I had a pretty good chance of succeeding in getting him to say goodbye to this, since he doesn't have as many packrat tendencies as some of the people in this household.  ;-)  And sure enough, after we took these pictures, he was ready to open the door of the woodstove and put this in there, ready to be used as kindling.

You're a good man, Tobin Fisher.  :)


Acknowledging when the usefulness of a thing is past, and then letting it go, requires a certain level of maturity and wisdom.  I'm proud of Tobin for the way he's developing this skill.

And I'm grateful to have one less item sitting around in my living room!  :)

Clutter, be gone!  :)

Sunday, October 23, 2016

An Unusual Sunday Morning Visitor

Usually, Sunday mornings are for getting children dressed in nicer-than-normal clothes, preparing food for Sunday lunch, and sometimes practicing music for our church service.  Sunday mornings are not normally for visiting.

But today it was.  :)

My brother David, who lives three states away, was down here for a quick trip to let his senior-in-high-school daughter check out one of our local universities; and before he headed back home, he took some time this morning to kick back and hang out with us.

The kids were delighted, excitedly showing him their LEGO creations and telling him their crazy dreams and sharing their stuffed animals with him and drawing pictures for him to take back to Pennsylvania.  I was delighted, too, but I could hardly get a word in edgewise because of all their happy chatter!  ;-)

It is always a treat to get to spend time with Big David!!  :)







Saturday, October 22, 2016

Day Four: DISCHARGED!

It was a phone call, first thing Wednesday morning, from my dad that delivered the news to me that my mother had had a fall serious enough to require hospitalization; and it was a phone call, today, from my dad that delivered the news to me that my mother, quite surprisingly, was being discharged!!!

My sister Donna had taken him over to UVA to visit my mom; and we, heeding the advice of the nurse practitioner yesterday, did not expect Mother to be well enough to leave the hospital today, or tomorrow, and even Monday wasn't a sure thing.  So I had absolutely no idea that, when I was talking to Dad on the phone, he would give me the incredible news that they were releasing her!  I could hardly believe it!

The joy in his voice was palpable as much of the stress of the past few days melted away.  What sweet relief!

Mother was taken by ambulance to Bridgewater Home; but since she still needs a little extra care, she is not yet back in the Gardner Wing (the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted living facilities).  We're still hoping that she will recover enough to get there though--and after seeing how much her condition improved from just a day or two ago, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens!  :)

My brother David happened to be in town this weekend, so he and Dad went over to visit Mom.  David even took a selfie with her.  :)
Doesn't she look great?!?!  :)

Of less significance, I think the white hair my mother has is rubbing off on my brother, because look at that chin of his!  ;-)

It's not hard to rejoice on a day like today, and tonight my heart is bubbling over with gratitude for God's tender mercies and healing hand!

Friday, October 21, 2016

Day Three: She Eats!

RELIEF.  That's what I experienced when we walked into my mom's hospital room this morning and saw, not only the bothersome cervical collar taken away, but also, a little later, a nurse spooning yogurt into my mother's mouth.  Hooray for progress!!!

Before long, Dad took over the job of feeding Mom...
...and as I watched him serve her in this humble way, I reflected on the 53+ years of marriage they have shared and, once again, gave thanks for their deep loyalty and faithfulness to each other.  What an example of true love!

Here's a quick run-down of today's events...

~ I only took the younger four kids with us because Josiah stayed in town to go to his biology class and do his normal volunteering at the library and David helped Jeff at the barber shop.

~ There was a fog warning as we approached the top of the mountain; but when we got to the crest, we saw that the fog had lifted slightly, but an accident had occurred in the westbound traffic.  We were heading eastbound and sailed through without any trouble, but it was a reminder of what can happen.

~ As I mentioned, Mother wasn't wearing the cervical collar; and she also wasn't connected to an IV any longer (although the ports--is that the right word?--remained in her arms, in case they were needed again).

~ The pulse oximeter was on her left hand and was bugging her; she would fidget with it quite often.

~ She had a "mitten" on her right hand, but she figured out how to use her left hand to unstrap the velcro and get it off.  Sneaky little lady.  ;-)  By the end of our time there, she had a mitten on both hands.

~ When Mother first saw me, I felt like she didn't really recognize me; but after a bit, I felt like I saw recognition wash over her face, and then she smiled. :)  I had said something like, "Hi, Mom! It's Davene"--identifying myself by name.  And when she recognized me, then she too said my name.  A little after that, a nurse asked Mom, "What's your name?" and she never did say "Barbara," but at one point in her groggy, mumbling voice, I thought I heard her say, "Davene."

~ One time when Dad was out of the room, I asked the kids what we should sing to Grandma, and Moriah suggested "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," so we sang that.  :)  Another time, we sang "Come and Go with Me to My Father's House," a song that Tobin had been thinking about.

~ Another time when Dad wasn't there, Mom was sort of leaning forward and acting a little troubled.  I was trying to help her to relax and lay back; but before she did, I could see the back of her head and noticed her wound from the fall.  I thought, "Wow, that has GOT to hurt!"  Sure enough, one time today, Mother said, "My head hurts."  She expresses so little verbally, but that thought came through clearly.

~ The nurses were all very nice, and it was reassuring to know that Mom is in good hands.  My appreciation for nurses has never been low, but it's higher than ever after this experience.

~ While we were there, Mom was able to eat some yogurt, applesauce, cream of broccoli soup, and drink a chocolate milkshake and some water.  I'm sure that will go a long way towards helping her recover her strength and start to feel normal again.

~ Between 12:30 and 1:00, I took the kids down to the cafeteria for lunch.  It was pretty busy there, so we went for a long walk before returning to eat.  It was still pretty busy when we returned!  ;-)  I had the kids sit at a table, told Shav to feed Benjamin, told Tobin to keep an eye on everything, then went to order (I could still see the kids from where I was).  Amazingly, nobody fell to pieces!  ;-)

~ Tobin and I have discovered that our favorite thing in the cafeteria is the sweet potato fries.  :)

~ Dad talked to somebody from the neurosurgery department and was told that there is some fluid on Mom's brain, but the amount is very small, and surgery doesn't seem advisable at all in her case.  I'm assuming that Mom's skull fracture will, like Moriah's did, heal on its own.  It's kind of interesting to me that, besides all the other things my mother and my daughter have in common, they both have broken their heads!

~ They were planning to do (and have done by now, I'm sure) a standing x-ray on her so they could determine if her spine was OK when she stands up.  Dad told us tonight that, after we left, they helped her stand up from the bed, and she could do that; but when they had her get back in bed, she wanted to stand up again.  He said, kind of jokingly but kind of serious, that he sort of hoped she forgot that she could stand up so that she wouldn't keep trying to get out of bed!  ;-)

~ I was able to meet the nurse practitioner who is officially in charge of Mother's care.  This is entirely irrelevant to my mother's care, but this nurse practitioner was wearing a pair of glasses that are so funky, I could hardly believe they were real glasses and not something she picked up in the kids' aisle of a dollar store.  (This is even more irrelevant, but I think some glasses styles that are popular now are completely ridiculous.  I know I really need to go get my eyes checked, but I'm afraid to do so because if they say I need glasses, I may never find a pair I actually like!  Silly vanity, I know.  But seriously, sometimes when I see people wearing certain glasses, I think--but would never say obviously--"You are surely going to look back at pictures of yourself and question why you ever wore those!")  :)  At any rate, she told us that Mom will need to stay at UVA at least over the weekend, but might be able to get out sometime in the first part of next week.  Sooner than that, she might be able to move to a regular floor, rather than the intermediate-level care (I forget the exact term) floor where she is now.

~ The big question is where Mom will go after she gets released, but we're wondering if a skilled care area of her nursing home is the answer.  That's still up in the air though.

~ Mid-afternoon, Benjamin was getting very, very sleepy (but wouldn't fall asleep in my arms or the stroller); and although he was still in fairly good spirits, I knew he was on the verge of wailing.  My cousin Matt's wife Megan had very kindly offered to bring my dad back to our side of the mountain, since she could be passing through that area anyway on her way to celebrate her mother-in-law's birthday (happy birthday, Aunt Elaine!!), so I very gratefully took her up on her offer and was able to leave before any meltdowns occurred.  It didn't take Benjamin long to fall asleep in the van, that's for sure!

~ As we were coming down the mountain on our way home, we saw a gorgeous rainbow with incredibly bright, vivid colors.  There was enough traffic on 64 that I couldn't rest my eyes on the rainbow, which was off to our right, for more than about a split-second, but I thought I saw something unusual about it, and the kids commented on it, too.  I found out later (thanks to the Facebook post of a super-smart friend) that it was a supernumerary rainbow, and you can click here to find out all I know about that!  ;-)  Really, all I know was that it was BEAUTIFUL.

~ My sister will be taking my dad over to the hospital tomorrow, and I will be eager to hear their reports when they return.  I'm sure I'll update when I know more!  Thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you who are reading and caring and praying for my mom and our family.  We are so grateful for each of you!!

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Day Two: Little Progress, Few Answers

I didn't get to see my mom today.

I did, however, take my dad and five of my kids (Josiah stayed with Jeff at the barber shop so he could catch up on some school work, especially biology) across the mountain to UVA; but when we got there and found the room that Mom had been transferred to late last night after her ER stay, we discovered that she was off having another CT scan.  Before she was brought back to the room, I had to leave to return to our side of the mountain and collect Josiah to then hand him off to another speech-and-debate mom who took him to the club meeting tonight.  It's been a little bit like a three-ring circus here recently.

At any rate, my dad stayed longer than we did at the hospital and was eventually brought home by his pastor who had gone to visit Mom, thus eliminating the need for me to take a second trip to the hospital today, something I had been planning to do.  I was grateful that I didn't have to make the long drive again in one day, but I definitely missed seeing Mom and am eager to be with her tomorrow.

Because of that, I didn't have any first-hand conversations today with any of the medical personnel who are treating her.  Dad did, of course; but to be perfectly honest, it left him feeling somewhat frustrated.  Some of the treatment feels unnecessary (a cervical collar, for example, that is very bothersome to Mom...and Dad is certain that her neck isn't in jeopardy of being injured more if she moves it...so why force her to wear the collar?); and we haven't been told a clear plan of treatment or expectation of what the next few days hold, as far as when she could be released and what needs to happen to get her to that point.  The lack of straight-forward information is challenging.

I will hasten to add that all the nurses and so forth have been extremely kind, so if nice counts for anything (which it almost always does with me), Mom is in good hands.  I don't have any complaints about that!  But tomorrow while I'm there, I'm hoping for more information--and as a happy "coincidence," the mom who took Josiah to his speech and debate club this evening is a nurse who works in our hospital, and she stayed to chat with me after dropping him off here at home tonight.  She was able to give me some good pointers about how to make a meaningful conversation happen--with the right people who actually know what's going on and can make things happen.  So, we shall see...

As it stands now, when Dad left the hospital today, Mom was still being given oxygen, still had an IV, still had a pulse oximeter (attached to her big toe, because she kept yanking it off her finger yesterday), still had the cervical collar, was still lying flat on her back, and still hadn't had anything to eat or drink (I think that's correct).  They had tried to do an MRI on her last night, but it wasn't successful because she kept moving during it (because, of course, she didn't understand what was going on and couldn't remember that she needed to lie perfectly still--a consequence that Dad had warned them of before they did it).  They did another CT scan today, which, from what I understand, showed a skull fracture at the back of her head (like the scans yesterday) but nothing else too alarming--unless I'm missing something.  Because Mother kept trying to pull at the tubes and such, they put big mittens (almost like boxing gloves, Dad said) on her hands so she couldn't disconnect anything important.

It's pretty much awful to see her like that.

I'm holding strongly to hope that tomorrow will bring a change for the better.  I'd like to know exactly what the issues are that are keeping her in the hospital and what needs to be done before she can be released--or at the very least, transferred back to our local hospital or to skilled care at her nursing home.

Can you tell that my heart feels a little heavy tonight?  Well, let me lighten the mood by sharing some things Dad told me this evening.  :)  He said that at one point, when a nurse asked Mom her name, she replied, "Barbara."  Another time when asked that, she replied, "Barbara Winters" - her maiden name. :)  As Alzheimer's robs the mind of memory, it often leaves the earliest memories for last, so it's no surprise she could come up with the name she was born with, rather than her married name.  That's not to say she would respond that way tomorrow, but for today that was what came out.

But the thing that made everyone laugh was when someone asked her, "Where are you now?"

Mother's response: "I'm here!"

That's not a wrong answer, you know.  :)
~ a lovely sunset scene I saw this evening as I went for a walk (since my presence at the hospital to bring Dad home wasn't required, I decided that an end-of-day walk in the fresh air with my baby and my dog would do me good--it did!) ~

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Two Tender Moments in a Tough Day

The first thing that happened to me this morning was my dad calling to let me know that he had received a call from Bridgewater Home letting him know that my mom had fallen this morning, had apparently struck the back of her head, was bleeding from the mouth, and was being taken to the hospital by ambulance to be checked out.  He was hurriedly (he even skipped his breakfast) getting ready to drive to the hospital to be with her and find out what was going on.

The second thing that happened to me this morning was Moriah telling me not to go downstairs until she told me I could come; and then I heard the squeak of the cabinet door where we keep the toaster, and then she came back upstairs to ask for help because she couldn't get the bread (the jars of applesauce we canned yesterday blocked the bread box) or the peanut butter (it was on a shelf too high for her reach), and then I went back upstairs and agreed to act surprised when I came downstairs when she called me :), and then she got a little teary because I hadn't gotten out a plate for her to put what she was making on, and then I told her she could use a plastic plate that she could reach herself, and then she did that.  And when she called me to come down because it was ready, there was a delicious piece of lavishly-spread peanut butter toast waiting for me for my breakfast - what a surprise!  ;-)

As I hugged her and thanked her and exclaimed over her kind, generous heart, I remembered what Jeff told me in November of 2011.  We had just found out that the baby in my womb was a girl; and at the same time, my mother's downward decline into Alzheimer's was accelerating.  "I feel like God is giving you a new best friend," Jeff remarked, knowing how closely my heart had always been tied up with my mother's and appreciating the fact that I would now have a chance to transfer that same kind of mother-daughter friendship to my own little girl.

Having heard the painful news of my mother's most recent decline (and a dramatic one, at that!), followed so closely by an extra-special demonstration of my daughter's love this morning, was a poignant moment, to be sure.

To summarize what happened next, our local hospital decided to transfer my mother to a larger hospital across the mountain from us because of her possible head injury and the potential need for a neurosurgeon to deal with it.  Dad came home, dropped off his car, then rode with my children and I to UVA in Charlottesville--a hospital I had never been to, although I've prayed for many friends who have spent time there--and we stayed there all the rest of the day, getting home just before 10:30 tonight (in time for Josiah and David to listen to the last few minutes of the presidential debate).

The whole time we were there, Mother remained in the ER.  Her condition appears very stable, but the doctors were awaiting tests to get a full picture of her injuries and then decide the best plan of treatment. We plan to return to her tomorrow and are eagerly awaiting an update then.

 Most of the time today, Dad was back in her curtained-off room with her.  Most of the time, the kids and I were in the waiting room.  But I took each child back one at a time (no room for eight of us to crowd into her cubicle!) so they could see their grandma, say hi to her in their sweet voices, and see what it's like to have a loved one in the hospital with various tubes and gadgets attached to their bodies.  We didn't do our regular homeschooling tasks today, but we sure got an education!

At one point this evening, I went into the ER to be with her while Dad went out to the waiting room to listen to his phone messages and make some calls (something he couldn't do in the ER); and this particular time, I had both Benjamin and Moriah with me--and Moriah had one of her stuffed monkeys with her.  :)  At first, Mother was peaceful and still, sleeping without stirring; but then for some reason, she became agitated, pulling at her IV lines and the oxygen tube in her nose and her hospital gown and the sheets and everything else she could reach, it seemed.  I noticed that rather than the liquid in her IV running down into her veins, the blood from her arm was running back up the line pretty far; and that concerned me enough (I'm no nurse!) that I actually went out in the hall and asked the nearest person in scrubs if that was alarming (she didn't act like it was!).  I went back in and was holding Benjamin in one arm while trying to figure out what to do to put the tubes Mom had been tugging on back into the right place, while keeping her from pulling anything else out, while helping her understand what was going on so she could calm down...and all the while, I was wondering if she was having bad pain and was wishing that my dad was there at that moment because he would have known what to do!  I tried giving my mother Moriah's stuffed monkey so she could feel that soft fur and keep her hands occupied with that, but my strategy only worked for a moment or two.  And then when I didn't know what else to do, God put the thought in my head to grab hold of my mother's hand and start singing to her.

The song that popped into my head first was "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus," so I started to sing (quietly, because there were lots of other people around), and the most marvelous thing happened.  Although she kept a firm grip on my hand, she almost immediately began to relax.  Her face visibly softened, her other hand lay quietly on the blanket, and she slipped back into calm, restful sleep.

After I had sung the first verse and the chorus, I started the second verse and realized I didn't know all the words.  No matter.  I floundered on, filling in the gaps when I didn't remember the lyrics, and kept singing until my dad returned.  And all the while, Mother lay peacefully, holding my right hand, while Benjamin was perched on my left arm and Moriah was obediently sitting on a chair close by.

One tough day, two tender moments.  I give thanks for these.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Of Blogs and Blessings

I had a freak-out moment this morning.

You see, my domain name -- davenespilled.com -- was expiring; and I couldn't figure out how to renew it.  Years ago when I first got it, it was a simple and inexpensive thing, $10 a year, I think; and then somewhere along the way, Google/Blogger did something like transfer the ownership of it to another hosting company or some such thing.  Obviously, I'm not very clear on the specifics!  Every year until now, it had automatically renewed without any fuss; but this year, although it looked at one point like it had renewed, it actually had not.  Even worse, not only could I not figure out how to renew it, Jeff couldn't either.  For a guy who has a bachelor's degree in computer information systems and who is an intuitive, persistent problem-solver who has successfully worked the kinks out of all the computers we--and my dad--have had through the years...for him to not be able to figure it out tells you how utterly confusing the situation was.

When I wasn't able to pull up my blog this morning, I started feeling some surges of panic, I'll admit to that.  Jeff came to my rescue once again and managed to get the blog to open by using the old blogspot address.  And so, if you are a regular reader of this blog and have some sort of bookmark for it, you will apparently need to update your link for it.  It is no longer davenespilled.com, but is now davenespilled.blogspot.com.  Not a big difference, but it's amazing how important that "blogspot" is now!  ;-)

If you have any questions about that, feel free to ask.  If you have any advice about that, feel free to share.  :)

Other than that moment of fear when I was worried that I might have lost everything on the blog (which is kind of a big deal, being as I have something like 1,750 posts on this blog!!!), today's been a pretty good day!  :)  I sat down tonight and considered the blessings of the day, and it didn't take me too long to come up with a list of a dozen extra-special moments that occurred today.  Want to see my list?  :)

1. This morning, Jeff sent me an email that said, "Proverbs 12:4 - A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.  Thanks for being so!"  It's amazing how a short little email like that can put such a big smile on my face!  :)

2. Late this afternoon, after we dropped off the big boys at choir, Moriah and I and little Benjamin went to the orchard and got four bushels of apples and three gallons of cider--the good stuff (not hard, by the way! but unpasteurized...so much better than the pasteurized stuff that is sold in stores!).  As soon as we got home, we opened a gallon and each had a drink; and I tell you, that first sip of cold, fresh cider is one of the genuine delights of fall.  I look forward to it all year long.

3. When Jeff heard recently that I wanted a new trashcan for the kitchen, he immediately ordered one online, and it was delivered today.  He got a kind that he has used for a long time in the barber shop and really, really likes.  I was going to content myself with a cheap plastic one from Walmart, but he got one for me that opens automatically by simply waving a hand above the lid.  His promptness in purchasing it, and his willingness to splurge beyond what was strictly necessary, made me feel loved.  :)

4. After supper this evening, my dad was waving his hand over the trashcan to watch the lid open, and Benjamin was watching him and getting the biggest kick out of it.  We were all impressed by the trashcan; but none of us, except Benjamin, felt the need to laugh out loud from the sheer delight of it!  ;-)  I stood back and watched Benjamin as he watched his grandpa make the lid open and thought, for the umpteenth time, "It is GOOD to see the world through the eyes of a child."

5. When Jeff brought Shav and Tobin home from choir, both boys had a big piece of news for me.  Shav excitedly showed me his grin, and I immediately spotted a new gap in his teeth where a tooth that had been loose for a LONG time had finally come out.  He had wiggled it out by himself--no pain, no fuss--and felt very accomplished.  :)

6. Tobin's news was that, for the first time, his name had been drawn at the end of choir rehearsal for him to get to bring home an owl (owls remind the choristers to produce the right kind of tone as they sing), so he proudly showed me Maestro, a stuffed owl, who is now sitting in a place of honor, overlooking the kitchen and living room.  :)

7. For supper, I made french onion soup, using the last (except two, which I saved for Jeff's salsa) of the onions from our garden.  I LOVE french onion soup, but don't make it very often; and tonight it tasted so, so good to me.  (And Jeff liked it, too!)  :)

8. After supper, I headed back to town to pick up Josiah and David (and our friend Abby, whom we give a ride home to after choir rehearsal); and I couldn't help but notice how large and beautiful the moon was.  As I drove up and down hills and around curves, the moon played peek-a-boo; and at one point, after I came up a low rise and spotted the moon again, I couldn't help but say, "WOW!"  It was so gorgeous--all orange and huge and with some lines across it from branches in the way.  Magnificent!  It was the kind of scene I always wish I could capture through a camera lens but never, ever can.

9. While I waited for the kids to finish their rehearsal, I sat in the van and played with Benjamin, and he was in such a giggly mood.  I would ask, "Can you say 'Dada'?"  He would, and I would cheer wildly, and he would laugh.  Then I would say, "Can you say 'Mama'?" or "Can you say 'Josiah'?" or another name, and he would say, "Dada!"  Then I would say, "Oh, no no no," and tickle him, and he would laugh and laugh, and so would I.  It was impossible not to.

10.  After we dropped off Abby, Josiah, David, and I ended up singing "Siyahamba" in three-part harmony as we drove home by lovely Silver Lake.  When we do that, David sings the melody in his beautiful, clear treble voice, I get to sing alto, and Josiah sings bass; and I marvel that I have kids old enough and experienced enough to hold a separate voice part so we can sing in harmony.

11. After I gave goodnight hugs to Tobin, Shav, and Moriah, I returned to the kitchen but kept my ears tuned in to the noises coming from their room.  They were talking so peacefully and happily together, and I rejoiced in the fun they have together, the unity they were displaying, and the fact that Moriah, who used to ALWAYS come back downstairs after she was supposed to be in bed, didn't do that...and, as a matter of fact, RARELY does that anymore.  Ah, progress!  :)

12. And now, the kitchen is cleaned up, all the dishes are done, and four bushels of apples are waiting to be turned into applesauce tomorrow.  Best of all, a friend is coming so we can do the work together.  I go to bed with sweet anticipation in my heart--and gratitude on my lips for all the blessings of this day!

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Sunday Snapshot #8

While Mommy gets lunch ready, Daddy entertains the baby in perfect fall weather.  :)

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Catanites

Saturday nights can be for a lot of things.

Sometimes, like tonight, they are for eating tacos, and Abby's zucchini bread, and David's maple fudge, and chocolate chip cookies warm from the oven...
 ...and playing Settlers of Catan...
 ...with very good friends.  :)

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Stealing Away {Sneak Peek}

We returned tonight from a whirlwind trip to the beach, with salt and sand still in our hair and happy memories in our hearts.  It was a precious time.  

For now, a few pictures from the past three days...  :)