Baby Blessing: Week 26

So there's this book, and I've been reading it, and it's brought up a lot of thoughts as I contemplate giving birth to--and, more importantly, raising--a daughter.

Recommended to me by my friend Kristal, given to me for Christmas by Jeff, the book is 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter.  Reading parenting books is nothing new for me; in fact, I started doing that long before Josiah was born.  But no other parenting book has ever hit me in such a personal way before.

For example, as I've read about raising boys, I've viewed them as alien species--wonderful and fascinating specimens, to be sure, but still something very, very different from myself.  I've never read a book about having sons and exclaimed, "That's me!  I can't believe the author is describing me!  That's completely and totally me!"  Because, of course, it isn't.

But now, as I read my very first how-to-raise-girls book, I can't help but feel as if the author is reading my mail and completely laying me bare.  She's talking about me.  Yeah, she might be describing how things will be for my daughter; but first and foremost, it's about me.  When she writes about dating, I have flashbacks of my dating experiences and I evaluate them in light of what I know now.  When she describes slumber parties, my mind instantly and effortlessly conjures up memories I hadn't thought of for ages, times when I went to a friend's house to spend the night, and ridiculous silliness occurred.  When she brings up peer groups, I remember the friends I had growing up...and what's more, I feel the exact same feelings that I experienced in various encounters from my childhood.  I am there.

All of this has reminded me of a conversation I had a few years back with my friends Misty and Julie.  We were standing on the corner of Court Square, outside the coffee shop that, unfortunately, is no longer there; and I was pregnant with Shav but didn't know it was a boy.  I don't remember her exact words; but in essence, Julie said, "I bet you're having a girl."  When I questioned why, she replied that having a daughter is one of the ways God gets us women to work on some of our own issues that we tend to stuff deep inside.  She had seen some of my issues that evening--as well as my tendency to try to hide them--and she suspected that God wouldn't let me get away with that for too long.  :)  Well, it wasn't a girl that time around; but regardless, the past three or so years since that conversation have seen some much-needed growth in facing my issues and dealing with some of the hurts of the past.  Not that there isn't still room for improvement...  :)

Sometimes I try to tell myself, "Oh, there's really not that much difference between being a mom of boys and a mom of girls.  You've got plenty of experience with mothering.  You can handle this just fine."  But then at other times, like every single time I pick up the 5 Conversations book, I think, "Wow.  This is going to be a wild ride, and I have no idea what I'm doing."

I guess what it boils down to is this: before I can understand how to teach my daughter to be a girl who is pleasing to the Lord, I've got to figure out how to be His kind of woman.  And honestly, I'm still working on that.

While my mind has been preoccupied with all of that deep pondering recently, my body has been doing its normal pregnancy thing:  growing and expanding--and sometimes, hurting.  I'm not complaining because I know I have it so easy, but I will just mention here that these days, backaches are common enough that I'm getting used to them and starting to expect them; and the other bothersome thing is heartburn which has flared up this week.  But really, if that's as bad as it gets, that's nothing to be concerned with.  I thank God for the relative ease He's always given me during pregnancy!  (Physical ease, that is...obviously, my mind seems bent on whirling around and around and trying to figure everything out about how to be the "perfect" mother for this girl...that's not exactly relaxing at times!)  :)

One last thing for this week's update:  I happened to click over to a new-to-me blog this evening and grinned when I read this modern-day "translation" of Psalm 127.  But it was the kind of grin that is mixed with a grimace, because oh, the awful truth is that society does see children as a burden.  I pray to always keep God's perspective on children and, even during the tough times, view them as the incredible blessing that they are.

 

~ I took these pictures in Jeff's barber shop on New Year's Eve, the day Shav got his much-appreciated-by-me haircut  :)