Friday, March 11, 2011

Tonight, I'm...

...tired.  Bone weary.  Exhausted to the core.

I'm tired of being perpetually behind in the laundry.
I'm tired of the laundry chute being filled to overflowing.
I'm tired of boys wetting beds.
I'm tired of washing mattress pads.
I'm tired of having to scramble to make sure everybody has clean underwear and socks for the next day.
I'm tired of clean laundry sitting unfolded in baskets for days.

That's what just a few days away from my regular laundry routine will do to me.

I'm tired of dirty dishes.

I'm tired of the stack of paperwork on the counter by the telephone.

I'm tired of dust on the mantle.

I'm tired of crumbs on the kitchen floor.

I'm tired of these last 10 pounds I've been trying to lose...but keep finding again.

I'm tired of unfinished projects.

I'm tired of procrastination and the mental toll it takes on me.

I'm tired of stress and the way it strips me of patience and gentleness and self-control and the other fruits of the Spirit.  (I should say, "the way I let it strip me of" those attributes, because I know I am responsible for how I react to stress.)

Even more, I'm tired of pain and suffering.  Not that I myself am experiencing so much of it these days, but I watch as those I love deal with it, and it hurts my heart.  Especially when they have to deal with it in silence.

I don't just feel the pain of people I know and am close to.  I think of those in Japan whose lives were forever altered by the horrific events there, and I mourn.  I think of a family I knew only superficially that was torn apart by divorce, and I grieve.

Tonight, I feel a kinship with Habakkuk as he lamented,
How long, O Lord, must I call for help?
But you do not listen!
"Violence is everywhere!" I cry,
but you do not come to save.
Must I forever see these evil deeds?
Why must I watch all this misery?
Wherever I look,
I see destruction and violence.
I am surrounded by people
who love to argue and fight.
The law has become paralyzed,
and there is no justice in the courts.
The wicked far outnumber the righteous,
so that justice has become perverted.
Later, Habakkuk receives this reply, and I cling to this in hope,
For as the waters fill the sea,
the earth will be filled with an awareness
of the glory of the Lord.
Yes, Lord!  May it be so!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the way you ended this post!

Sarah-Anne said...

i can't truly relate {since i'm not a mom} but just wanted to let you know we're thinking of you...and praying. always! :)

ashleykaye said...

i so wish i was there to come save you from your laundry and other assorted tasks (i can't imagine the load with so many boys as i only have one and wonder so many days how i will ever stay on top of everything!) so you could have more time praying about the things that are SO troubling your heart!! :o) love you! i'm praying for you and for the people who are hurting along with you!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post! Events like happened in Japan serve as a reminder to me of what I do have and what I need to be thankful for. Did that make any sense?

Miriam said...

Ooooh, Davene, Except for the bed-wetting related parts (which I'm sure are in my future!), this post fits me to a T! Hang in there and keep clinging to the Rock. I hope we're able to one day get on top of everything. In the meantime... don't give up!

Unknown said...

I do understand a little, although with two boys rather than four my workload is less than half of yours. Is there someone who could come in for a few hours to give you a 'kick start'? My mother did just that a few days ago, and although the house is still not quite under control, just having clean floors inspires me!

Sally said...

Did you right my post? I could have said just about everything you said (except the bed-wetting), and I have been TIRED, very tired, for the last 2 days, but slowing down has not been an option. So, I'm just trying to get things done faster so I can slow down sooner. I'm not sure if it will work, but I did do 4 loads of laundry today. That should help in the laundry area.

Hang in there!