I'm not ready to say goodbye to April yet.
This month has been one of the best of my life; and now that it's over I find myself unexpectedly sentimental, simply because of a leaf turning over on the calendar. Just when I should be eagerly embracing May, I find myself wanting to linger in April. It's silly, I know. What does it matter which month it is? Life is still full and sweet and precious, even in May. But April calls to me, and I don't want to let it go.
Besides Moriah's birth which was the most exciting event of the month by far, I've been blessed with a myriad of other cherished moments during the past 30 days. Big things like my birthday and David's birthday, and small things like a pleasant Sunday evening outdoors...
...with big boys balancing on wooden swings while they munch on popcorn......and Tobin Bear in completely mismatched clothes (but who cares when you're four years old and in your own yard?)...
...and Shav wanting to be pushed "high, high, high!"...
...and eating from the big bowl of popcorn.
So many pleasant moments. I have so MUCH for which to give thanks!As is my custom, I want to record here my Facebook status updates from this month so that I can remember these little, quick peeks into these special April days.
4/3 - One of my boys (who shall remain nameless, but is really old enough to know better) asked me yesterday, "When you're not pregnant, are you totally overweight?" I HAVE been feeling a little self-conscious about my size recently, but of course I know that he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. Even so, I hardly knew whether to laugh...or cry...or quickly look up a Healthy Weight for Women chart on Google and show it to him so I could prove that I'm not "totally" overweight. ;-) It's all part of training young men how to show love to the females in their life, I suppose. ;-)
4/4 - I've been having contractions for weeks, so that's nothing new. But last evening was the first time I thought I might actually be going into labor. I HATE timing contractions, so I never do it. But I did happen to notice last evening that there was a little more "action" in my abdominal region. However, it eventually diminished, and the night brought forth no baby. Still waiting...but happily. This delay just gives me more time to finish projects around here! :)
4/4 - At my appointment with the midwife this afternoon, I discovered that I'm 3 centimeters dilated...which means...well...absolutely nothing! ;-) I could either have this baby tomorrow, or wait until next week. Still a guessing game. Still nesting. Still happy. Still at peace. :)
4/5 - No baby last night. The contractions which pick up intensity in the evening always die away before accomplishing much. It looks like this little girl might be holding out to be born on Passover or Easter after all! :) So, what project should I tackle today? Laundry? Yes. A little cleaning? Yes. The sun is shining; it's looking like a great day! :)
4/5 - I feel like about every hour or so, I should post something...just a quick little blurb to the effect of "no, nothing is happening yet." Otherwise, my FB silence might lead some to assume that things have picked up and a baby is on the way. Anyway, here's my 10:30 blurb: "no, nothing is happening yet." Now you know. ;-)
4/6 - No baby yet. I actually had a great night of sleep last night. Today I'm thinking a lot about Good Friday: what happened on this day and what it means for me. I often think that it's ironic that we've given it the name "Good" Friday, when in reality, for the followers of Jesus, it seemed anything but a good day. I'm so grateful for the perspective we have, knowing what comes next in His story! :)
4/6 - I know what Baby Girl is doing with all her free time these days: growing in length and stretching out her legs so she can kick me in my right rib. This is EXACTLY what her big brother Josiah did all the time at the end of that pregnancy. Little Girl had typically been stretching out and poking me in my right side, lower than my ribs. But apparently she's discovered that the rib area is a lot of fun. When she gets going with that, I lean back as far as I can and try to make more room for her in there; but eventually there is a limit to how far back I can go! Maybe she's like a swimmer, getting ready to kick off the wall of the swimming pool so that she can go as fast as she can as she exits the womb. ;-)
4/6 - I'm feeling a little like a watched pot tonight. Nothing's boiling yet. So I'm going to dust and vacuum the living room. If I can't be productive giving birth to a baby tonight, I'll be productive with cleaning! :)
4/7 - I awoke full of anticipation. The sun is shining gloriously, and my brother David and his family are coming today from Pennsylvania! Even if a certain other member of the family doesn't decide to show up today, it will still be a very special day. ;-) And now, off to Josiah and David's last swimming lesson to watch my boys be little fish. :)
4/7 - Had a GREAT visit with family today! No labor yet. Amazingly peaceful and content. All is well!
4/7 - Now that we've officially passed my due date, I'm not going to let myself think that Baby Girl is LATE. As a matter of fact, she's right on time. God's timing. And when that time is complete, she will be born. Until then, I rejoice in her kicks, somersaults, hiccups, twirls, etc. inside me. Watching my stomach move will soon come to an end. Feeling her every motion will be over soon. This phase of being so connected to her is drawing to a close. While it lasts, I will appreciate the glory and beauty of it. And I will not chafe because she is "late." End of story. :)
4/8 - Awakened by the sizzling sound and the delicious smell of Jeff frying bacon in the kitchen. I bet that's better than what the hospital was serving for breakfast today. ;-) No labor yet. It's a gorgeous day. And what's more - it's Easter! So grateful for this day.
4/8 - Jeff is offering to take us all on a family date to Sweet Bee. Should I accept? Umm...let me think...for all of a half of a second. The answer is: YES! :)
4/8 - Josiah to me: "Every morning, I check first thing to see if you're still here, or if you're at the hospital having the baby." When I had Shav, Jeff and I left before the other boys were awake; and our Old Order Mennonite neighbor Wilma came over to stay here with the boys. Josiah remembers waking up, coming to the top of the stairs, and seeing Wilma's bonnet in the living room. Instantly he knew that it was time, and I was having the baby. Now, almost three years later, he apparently thinks about that every morning. :)
4/10 - After a good night of sleep and cuddles with Moriah, I'm ready to start a new day. First thing on the agenda: breakfast--I hope it gets here soon. I'm as hungry as a horse!! :)
4/11 - Adjusting to a new baby in the household isn't too difficult. Remembering that EVERYONE in the family is adjusting to a new baby in the household is much more difficult. Having GRACE for everyone in the family who is adjusting to a new baby in the household is the most difficult of all. Tonight I'm thankful that "His mercies are new every morning." :)
4/12 - For the first time, I saw Moriah sucking on two of her fingers today. Then she sneezed, and the fingers flew out of her mouth. I don't think she could figure out what happened to them and why they disappeared. :)
4/12 - Blessed by an amazing feast of food given to us by Sally tonight. So grateful for friends to prop my arms up when I'm feeling overwhelmed!
4/13 - Today is Jeff's first day back to work since Moriah was born, and I was a little nervous about how the day would go without him here. I needn't have worried, however. One kind friend came and got the boys to take to her house for a fun afternoon, and Emily Sacra came over to take pictures of Moriah. It's been a great day so far!! Now that the house is quiet with just Moriah and I here, I think it's time for some snuggles with my girl and maybe a nap together. Of course, I could rush around and try to accomplish something productive. Nah. A nap sounds better. ;-)
4/13 - Today was a gift in so many ways, but I'm especially grateful for the afternoon I had with Moriah. With my boys VERY happily entertained at a friend's house, I cherished the moments of just me and my girl. We took the longest, snuggliest nap together on the couch, and I wept tears of joy over her as I thanked God for the precious blessing He's given us. Uh oh, just writing about tears of joy makes me shed them all over again...I'd better go grab a tissue... ;-)
4/14 - Josiah said to me yesterday or the day before: "If Moriah had been a boy, and then if you had had another boy, what would you have named him?" He knows the name we would give to a 5th son, but wanted to know what a 6th son would have been named. I would have answered his question, but the only thing is...we never chose a name for a 6th son! Isn't it funny how kids run ahead of us in so many ways??? :)
4/14 - I heard David crooning to Moriah this morning, "Hello, pretty girl!" Such sweetness...my heart can hardly contain it. :)
4/15 - The dilemma of the day: for Moriah's first church service, I dressed her in a cute outift from my wonderful sister-in-law Kim. Sleeveless dress, long-sleeved onesie for warmth, and tights. I put the onesie and the dress on Moriah, but then I got stuck. Do the tights go over the onesie? Does the onesie go over the tights? I pondered it for a while, then decided to put the tights over the onesie. But I'm still not sure I did it "right." I never had to worry about this particular issue with my boys!!! ;-)
4/16 - Our best night in a week! Moriah only woke once to eat, and the rest of the time she was sleeping peacefully in her crib. I think she's figuring out what nights are all about. ;-)
4/16 - One of my boys is still in his pajamas. Three of them have not eaten breakfast yet. All four of them are happily playing pirates together in Tobin and Shav's room. Who cares about PJs and breakfast when there are bad guys to be fought?? ;-)
4/16 - So grateful for the delicious meal that Michele B. brought us last evening. It was so good! The boys ate and ate and ate, and a couple of them said, "We need to remember to say thank you to Michele when we see her on Sunday!" Just in case they forget, Michele, here is a great big THANK YOU from us!!! :)
4/16 - I pulled a pair of Josiah's khaki pants out of the dryer this morning and discovered pink fuzzies on them. THAT has never happened before in this household. Even our laundry isn't the same since sweet Moriah was born! ;-)
4/18 - We walked down to my parents' house this morning to say goodbye to my aunt and uncle before they headed north again. As we walked back up the driveway, Tobin was beside Jeff; but then he slowed down and came to walk beside me and Moriah, the last in the procession. "It's better if I walk with you so you won't be scared," he told me. And a moment later, "I'd rather walk with you so you won't be scared and get killed!" He was armed only with a container of cupcakes, but I was still grateful for the presence of my little man and his desire to protect and care for me! ;-)
4/18 - This afternoon David was hugging and kissing Moriah; and then he turned to me and said softly, "She smells like some kind of flower." :) I guess I'm not the only one around here who loves that new baby smell!! :)
4/20 - Feeling nourished--in body and spirit--by the delicious meals provided for us recently by Misty M., Alice M., and Kristy J. Their kindness and generosity replenishes my own well when I feel as if I might be going dry by pouring myself out for my children. I am so grateful for them! :)
4/20 - On Wednesday, Moriah reached one of the best early milestones: her umbilical cord stump fell off. :) I'm always relieved when that stinky ol' thing is gone. Plus, it's so much fun to be able to give her real baths now. She smells so, so good when she's fresh from a bath!! :)
4/21 - Three times yesterday, I saw Moriah's face break into a smile. I know it's too soon to expect "real" smiles, but it was still nice to see "fake" ones. A promise of happy moments to come!! :)
4/21 - I rarely get headaches when I'm pregnant. But I'm not pregnant anymore...and today I got my first headache in a long time. Bummer. :(
4/21 - Tonight Allison C. kindly brought a yummy dinner for us which we all enjoyed very much! My mind flew back through the years to a hot, smelly, sticky, sweaty EMHS gym; Allison and I played basketball together in high school. :) Who knew back then that she would one day bring me dinner after the birth of my fifth child?! :)
4/22 - As the rain falls outside, I'm thinking about one of my favorite verses: "There is a sound of abundance of rain." (I Kings 18:41) I love this verse so much because of the faith it took for Elijah to make this proclamation. More of my thoughts on this are in this blog post from several years ago...
4/24 - Tobin is playing with some Star Wars LEGO figures, and he keeps calling the bounty hunters, "bouncy hunters." No matter how many times we correct him, they're still bouncy hunters in his vocabulary. ;-)
4/24 - Psalm 68:19 - "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who DAILY bears our burdens." - During this period of adjustment, I can easily get overwhelmed if I think too far ahead; but remembering that, every single day, God has promised to bear my burdens does much to ease my mind! I'm so grateful for His strong arms to hold me up when I am weak.
4/27 - Before Moriah was born, David would say that he wanted the baby to be a boy so they could have a big lightsaber fight. But today, while David happily pushed Moriah's stroller as we ran some errands together, he confided to me, "I don't know why I EVER didn't want a little sister!" I think it's safe to say that Moriah has won his heart. ;-)
4/28 - What a great evening! First, a date with Jeff - the first we've had for a while. I love him more than ever. Second, coming home, checking FB, and seeing a sneak peek from a photo shoot yesterday with Emily - yay! :) Now, snuggling with Moriah while raindrops fall outside. Life is sweet. :)
4/28 - Only 19 days since Moriah was born, but already I CANNOT imagine life without her!
4/29 - I had the most relaxing Sunday afternoon nap today--Sweet Moriah cuddled like a koala on my chest. I don't know how many more weeks she'll like to sleep that way, but each time it happens, I savor the sweetness. :)
4/29 - For such a little thing, Moriah sure has some huge belches! I'm going to have to add "How to Burp like a Lady" classes to her curriculum. ;-)
4/30 - This afternoon, when I was dropping Josiah off at his SVCC rehearsal, he paused before getting out of the minivan, bent over Moriah in her carseat, and sweetly gave her a kiss. It brings such joy to my heart to see my children showing love to each other!
4/30 - As I was driving home this evening, I turned on the radio; and Tobin immediately complained, "I don't like this." I didn't say much, but simply adjusted the sound so it was only coming out of the front speakers and not the back ones where he was sitting. It was probably less than a minute later that "I'm diving in..." by Steven Curtis Chapman came on. Tobin piped up with a cheerful, "I like this song because of the drums!" Then he added, "That's why I'm wiggling!!" I couldn't take my eyes off the road to look back at him, but I could imagine his happy wiggling dance while confined in a booster seat. So much for him not liking the radio! ;-)
Now that I've mourned the passing of April and have bid it farewell, it's time to turn my attention to May. The first way to do that is a fun way--it's time to change my blog header and background!! :) I never did get around to changing my April one from the "waiting" header I had originally created as we counted down the days to Moriah's birth. Oh, well. Now that it's May, it doesn't really matter. And now that it's May, I get to use a header picture that Emily took a few days ago. :)
See, Davene, there are good things about May. Really great things, as a matter of fact!! ;-)