When Brothers Are Best Friends

I read so many things.

We all do, I suppose.  Aren't we bombarded with words as we go through our days, from the time we sleepily read the directions on the instant coffee tin so we can get a first-thing-in-the-morning caffeine boost, to the time we do our last-time-for-tonight check of email and Facebook before we go to bed?

Words surround us.  They teach and instruct us, encourage and inspire us, entertain and enlighten us, but often, they float right over our heads, never to be remembered.

Has this ever happened to you?  You read a magazine article, or an excerpt from a book, or even a quote from a page-a-day inspirational calendar; and what you read grabs your attention so you pause for a moment to think about what you just read; but then you turn the page of your book, put your magazine in the recycling pile, or toss the scrap of paper into the trash.  Only later do you think, "I wish I could remember where I read that.  I'd really like to see it again!"

That almost happened to me when I first read this article.  I almost didn't save it, but I'm so glad I did.

A link to it was included in a weekly email newsletter that my state homeschool organization sends out; and when I saw the topic was sibling rivalry, it didn't take me long to decide to click on the link.  Any help with teaching my four young'uns to get along is always welcome!

I liked the article right away--sentences like "God made no mistake with the gender, the birth order, the number, and the spacing of your children" are welcome reminders of what I already know to be true but need to think about more often. Plus, there are lots more good points, like "Outside activities need to go in the same direction (as much as possible)."

But then I read this:  Do not allow your children to say "my best friend" outside of the family.  Rather, they can say "my very good friend."  Friends may come and go through the years, but siblings are for a lifetime.  And I thought, "Hmmm.  Do I agree with that strict use of the term best friend?"  

I'm still thinking about that.

I wouldn't want to be a legalist about it (so, for example, when David pipes up and announces that Grant is his best friend, I don't interrupt him to screech, "Oh no, he's not.  You can't call him that!"), but I DO appreciate the heart behind it and the point that the author made.  Siblings relationships are indeed for a lifetime, and there is wonderful potential in them for incredible friendships, if developed properly.

Because we homeschool, it's only natural that my boys' closest friendships are with each other.  Once in a while, I worry about that (although "worry" is much too strong of a word for the mild concern I occasionally feel about it).  Sometimes I console myself with the thought that Laura Ingalls Wilder's best friends were certainly her sisters, since she didn't have many other options for friends during most of her growing-up years!  :)  I also think about brothers James and John and the unique bond they had, as recorded in the Gospels.

And then I stop to watch my boys, and I see things like Tobin helping a hesitant Shav learn to walk up and down a hill in bare feet, with both ending up falling down on the grass.  I smile.  I contemplate.  I decide that, even though I'll still encourage them to build great friendships with people outside our family (and believe me, they do; I don't think it's just my biased viewpoint talking when I say that my boys are VERY friendly and get along well with others), I'll be grateful that the people they spend the most time with--and most want to spend time with--are the members of their own family.

My heart is reassured and at rest:  when brothers are best friends, 'tis the very best kind of best friendship!