Baby Blessing: Weeks 33 & 34

Huge, but happy.

Graceless, but grateful.

I think that sums up how I'm feeling these days!  :)

I feel big.  I am big.  I know that; but even still, sometimes it surprises me just how big I am.  For example, I saw my shadow on the wall one evening recently; and although I know shadows can be odd, distorted things, there was no doubt in this case that my tummy was making a gigantic shadow.  So I laughed at myself.  Sometimes that's all you can do.  ;-)

Another time, Jeff was experimenting with the built-in camera in the laptop in our living room; and as he was recording himself and whatever else was in view of the camera, I happened to walk towards him.  LONG before I expected to be in the camera's eye, there was my belly!  It seems to precede the rest of me by at least a few feet these days.  ;-)

Along with my extra size comes a distinct lack of gracefulness, in terms of body motions.  Rolling over in bed is a laughable feat; I do it about as delicately as an arthritic walrus.  When I want to tiptoe around upstairs at night or in the morning when I get up before the rest of the family, I try my hardest to step lightly.  You can imagine how successful I am.  And don't even get me started about my waddle...  ;-)

However, despite all of this, I am so very happy to be blessed with this child and so grateful for the gift God is giving me.  Not that I don't have mood swings--I do!--but I'm conscious of the link between fatigue and sad emotions, so when I reach a point of being especially tired and worn out (like I did this morning), I try to do everything I can to get some extra rest, because I know how vitally important it is, not only to my mood, but to the emotions of the rest of the household.  If that means that the laundry doesn't get folded or the floor doesn't get vacuumed, so be it.

When this month began and I turned the calendar to March,  it suddenly dawned on me that I could have a baby this month!!!  I'm not counting on it because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment (and besides, giving birth to my daughter on April 1 would be a pretty incredible way to celebrate my own birthday!), but I am aware that with a due date of April 7, a March baby is not out of the question.  Suddenly, my desire to prepare got kicked into high gear!

So far, my preparations look like this:
~ start packing my hospital bag (mostly just the clothes and blanket for the new baby so far, but it's a start)
~ buy a package of newborn diapers
~ read Supernatural Childbirth and meditate on God's Word in relation to birth

That's about it, in terms of real preparation for this little girl's arrival; but I suppose the other thing related to this is a strong sense of wanting to make sure I stay focused on the boys' schooling, so that we finish what I want to get done before the baby is born.  I'm so tempted, especially on days when the weather is beautiful outside, to call a "Teacher Work Day" and use that time to do some of the household projects I'd like to get finished.  But then I remember that the clock is ticking, and I really do want to be able to check certain school subjects off the list before she's born and my time is so divided.  We'll do some educational things after the birth and into the summer, of course; but I know myself well enough to know that I'll be more relaxed if I can say that we're officially done with X, Y, and Z.

One thing that I haven't written much about during this pregnancy is the food I'm craving...or barely tolerating, as the case may be.  There's actually not a whole lot to say about this--nothing too weird this time around.  Like always when I'm pregnant, I LOVE milk and fruit; but then again, I always love those things.  Typically during pregnancy, I could almost become a vegetarian because meat--especially meat by itself, a hamburger or steak or piece of chicken--does not appeal to me very much at all.  So it is with this pregnancy.  Surprisingly, I have very little appetite for ice cream.  I'll let a carton of ice cream sit in the freezer for a long time (until finally Jeff makes the sacrifice and eats it)  ;-)  because I just don't feel like having any.  The exception to that would be ice cream from Kline's, our local ice cream shop.  When Josiah and David and I went there a few weeks ago after their violin lessons, I certainly enjoyed that ice cream immensely!  :)  I think the most unusual thing that I've craved during this pregnancy is tortilla chips--specifically, the kind that my parents buy at Costco.  It used to be that they would get them for Jeff, since he literally eats chips and (his homemade) salsa every day; no one else in the family really touched them.  But now, all the boys nibble on them, too; and I LOVE them.  I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner--no joke.  In fact, now that I'm writing about this, I'm going to have to go get some out of the snack closet to munch on now!  :)  If my parents have wondered why we're going through chips faster these days, they won't have to wonder anymore.  It's because...I eat them.  :)

Let me say a word about the pictures in this post before I go on to a few other things.  The first one was taken during my 33rd week of pregnancy, and Josiah was thrilled to be my photographer for that one.  The second one was last Sunday, when I was 34 weeks.  David took that one for me; and as we were walking outside to find a place to take it, he ran on ahead and posed for me by a tree.  The above picture shows him trying to stick out his tummy in imitation of me, which totally took me back to when I was pregnant with Tobin.  I wore the same dress, had a picture taken of me outside, and was joined by another son who tried his best to look pregnant.  Such funny boys!  :)

I've discovered an unexpected side benefit from being pregnant this winter: a lower heating bill because I'm not burning nearly as much wood in the stove as I normally would.  Now part of that, of course, is because our outdoor temperatures have been so mild this winter; but a portion of that is due to my internal heater.  Many years, for example, I would try to heat up the house to 74, 75, 76 (or even higher) degrees, because that's what was comfortable for me.  This year, on the other hand, some days it's 68 or so inside when I get up in the morning; and I'll think, "Oh, yes, it's plenty warm.  I won't build up the fire just yet."  :)  The boys are often so active--even indoors--that they're warm enough even if the house is a little on the cool side; but sometimes I'll hear them say, "I'm cold," as they grab a blanket and cuddle on the couch...and then I'll realize that maybe, just maybe I should try to get the temperature up into the 70s at least.  :)  Since I don't like being cold, I'm grateful for the added warmth I've felt this winter!  (Another small--very small, but everything helps, right?--way we've saved money this winter is that I've used my heater blanket much less than I normally do.  The blanket has stayed on the bed, but it's a rare night that I have it turned on all night long.  Sometimes I start with it on, then turn it off during one of my many nighttime wakings; but many nights I don't even turn it on at all.  I'm sure the savings on our electric bill will be substantial.)  ;-)

Another thing I'm grateful for is the amount of girl clothing we've been given--such a huge help!  Tonight we enjoyed a wonderful dinner with a group of five families that we occasionally get together with, and one of the ladies handed me the cutest little summer dress for my daughter.  Oh, I can hardly wait to see her in it!  :)  Another blessing today came when a package from Sara arrived in the mail.  I had won a giveaway on her blog (for a great devotional book that I'm so excited to start reading every morning!); and in the package, she had included two darling little onesies for my sweet girl--what a thoughtful touch, and genuinely helpful as we prepare for our first daughter.  What's more, a few days ago, one of Jeff's co-workers brought him several bags of hand-me-downs from her daughter (and another co-worker brought him four trash bags of clothes from her sons, and yet another co-worker gave him some boy clothes, too).    We love hand-me-downs, and I feel so blessed to be taken care of in this way and not have to buy all new clothes for our littlest one!  :)

This coming week should be an exciting one.  At my next appointment at my midwives' office, I get to have a quick ultrasound to check the position of the baby.  Will she be breech like she was in the ultrasounds at around 20 weeks and 24 weeks, or will she be head-down like we're hoping and praying for?  That is the question!  At my last appointment, which occurred in the middle of my 33rd week, the midwife Melody thought that she felt the baby in the head-down position; but of course, no one can say for sure without an ultrasound.  Everything else at that appointment, by the way, was very normal and routine--my weight was fine, so was my blood pressure, baby's heartbeat was 146 (I think), etc.  It was one of those short and sweet appointments that aren't very memorable but are incredibly reassuring.  :)

But now I'm curious--so, SO curious--to hear the news about what position this girl is in.  Although I'm beginning the process of picturing how this birth might go, it's tough to do that without knowing if a C-section is likely.  That one little fact could change my imaginings drastically!

Nevertheless, as E.B. White said, "Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch."

Rich and steady?  It doesn't always feel like it in the swirl of up-and-down pregnancy hormones; but yes, I can truly say that waiting for our tiny daughter has brought something very rich and steady into our lives.  I'm so thankful for that--and for her!