WiW #7 - My Bookmark Convicted Me

I woke up this morning with a mental to-do list that was laughable, both in its length and impossibility; but I didn't feel like laughing.  I slogged my way through the morning, striving to be the gentle, peaceful mother that I'd like to be for my boys, but knowing by the edge in my voice that I was failing.  *sigh*

When my lunchtime came, after the boys were settled down for naps and quiet time, I sat down with a fried egg sandwich and a book--Preacher on Wheels by Paul Hostetler was today's selection.  As I opened it and found the page I'd been reading, I glanced at the bookmark I was using.  It happened to be part of a card that someone had sent me years ago; and on the back, this is what it said:

It was my usual end-of-day confession of failure.  Letters I hadn't written, phone calls I hadn't made, opportunities for kindness I hadn't seized upon.  God must be as tired of hearing these bedtime laments as I am of making them, I thought. 

That's when some pictures I'd seen that morning popped into my mind.  There were no captions, just 30 black-and-white drawings tracing a day in the life of a cymbal player.  The musician wakes up, shaves, dresses, eats breakfast, studies his score.  Finally he puts his cymbals in their case, travels to the concert hall, and takes his place in the percussion section of the orchestra. 

He waits quietly through most of the program.  As his time to perform approaches, he seizes the cymbals and stands up, breathlessly watching the conductor's baton.  The big moment comes!  He clashes the cymbals together, one ringing, reverberating, perfectly timed note. 

His allotted role accomplished, he leaves the stage, puts on his hat and coat, travels home, enjoys dinner, yawns, puts on his pajamas, brushes his teeth, and goes to bed supremely content. 

The cymbal player did the one thing required of him.  Did I, I wondered?  Maybe in the multiplicity of each day's events there was a single assignment for me.  Maybe if I watched the Conductor more closely I would discover what it was.

~ Elizabeth Sherrill

Wow.  I needed that.  I was so inspired that after I finished my sandwich, I decided to do "the one thing required of [me]."

So I did the dishes.  :)

And I felt much better.

I didn't get everything crossed off my to-do list today, and I already know I won't accomplish everything I'd like to do tomorrow either.  But here's a part of my plan that I think I can actually do:  to look, moment by moment, for the "single assignment" that needs my focus most, and above all, to "watch the Conductor more closely" and live by His cues.

For more gathered words, visit Barbara H.'s Stray Thoughts.