January {The Wrap-Up}

Someone please remind me what the date is.

What's that you say?  Could you speak a little louder?

March 2?  MARCH 2???

How in the world...

Well, now that we're already into the third month of the year, I'd say it's about time for me to go back and finish up this summary of the first month!  :)

Besides what already got mentioned on the blog in the lovely month of January, we also...

...finished reading Bartholomew's Passage, our Advent book for this past Christmas (yeah, we were a little late in finishing it) and packed away all our Christmas things--but not before taking a picture of a nativity that someone--most likely Tobin--drew.  :)

...got back into the swing of school, children's choir (including an all-day choir retreat for Josiah's choir, for which he got to wear pajamas!)  :), violin lessons, gymnastics, etc.  In comparison to some homeschoolers who find themselves in the winter doldrums at this time of year, I actually find myself LOVING these winter months for homeschooling.  Reason being, there is no food to preserve or garden work to do which steals time from homeschooling.  Another reason, it's usually too cold to play outside (except for a snow day here or there, if we're fortunate enough to get snow).  :)  Yet another reason, the Christmas rush is over and the stress (the good kind, but still stress) that builds during the fall and into December is gone.  One more reason, we can see the end of April approaching--the date we almost always shoot for to finish our main studies for that school year--and it's encouraging to think about what we still need to do and then be checking items off the list as the end draws near.  In short, it's the perfect time to gather in the living room near the woodstove and do our homeschooling!  :)

...played while we learned.  

(Can you tell that Tobin is the one who most often says, "Mom, can you take a picture of this?")  :)

...let the boys go ice skating on our neighbor's pond.  I will admit to doing so with much fear and trepidation.  The first time they went, I walked back over the hill with them and watched, prepared to...oh, I don't know...jump in and rescue them if the ice gave way or something, I guess!  As if I could have really saved them!  The second time, I let them go with the neighbors without me; but as I said goodbye, I really thought about the fact that it might be the last time I ever saw them alive here on earth.  My overly-dramatic side got activated, it appears.  :)  It was the first time my boys had ever gone ice skating, and they LOVED it.  I loved seeing them come home safely at the end.  :)

...admired the beauty of ice-encrusted holly and the God-given adaptability of our animals to stay warm in the cold.

...had some friends over for dinner and Bible studies.  I especially enjoyed hanging out with their little guy Austin--and seeing Moriah relate to someone who is younger than her.  :)

...had date nights--one at a new hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant in town, that happened to serve really yummy food, which made my southern-California-born husband very happy.  :)  Another time we went to an Italian restaurant that we hadn't visited for a while, which made my pasta-loving self very happy.  :)  For the other date, we got some tacos from our favorite taco cart, ate in the car, then went shopping at the dollar store.  Sometimes the cheapest dates are the best ones.  :)

...carried in wood from the woodshed to the porch to make sure we had an ample supply to keep the fire going during some really COLD days and nights.  For the first time, I did so when Moriah was awake and with me; and it was fun to watch her toddle up and down the hill as we worked.  Tobin and Shav helped me keep a close eye on her.  :)

...noticed, from the kitchen window, the brilliance of the setting sun through black, bare branches.

...tried a new recipe: ground beef curry.  Loved it!  :)

...enjoyed a visit from some friends we hadn't seen in a long time.  I first met Lorna in high school, and various things have connected us through the years.  Rather than just knowing one or two "sides" of me, she has experienced quite a few of the things that have shaped me into who I am, and I sense a true kindred spirit in her.  Besides all of that, her mom Lois is a dear, dear friend to my mother.  On top of that, our kids had a blast together!

...also got to visit and see the new homes of two local friends: Christin and Carla.  In both cases, it was really fun to catch up on life, and I rejoiced to see how God is blessing their families.  (I also rejoiced in the larger girl clothes that I got from them for Moriah to grow into--such fun!)  ;-)

...celebrated Jeff's Family Night with pizza that he brought home from Pizza Hut (our all-time favorite!).  A couple weeks later, for my Family Night, Jeff brought home subs from Subway (another favorite of mine).  :)

...watched Moriah get some tricycle-riding lessons from devoted big brother Tobin.

...dealt with a little sickness, just the common cold type.  It was enough, however, to keep Moriah and I home one Sunday while the rest of the family went to a church service.  One-on-one time with a child is always special, and I did enjoy that day with her.  :)

...relished the ordinary moments of life in our three-generation family.  Especially precious were moments like these, because as my mother's Alzheimer's gets worse, these times get more and more infrequent.

Before we wave goodbye completely to January, here's one last thing: my Facebook posts.  I don't want to let those slip away!  :)

January 1 - For the first time in their young lives, Tobin and Shav got to stay up until midnight to see in the new year. How did we fill the hours between their normal bedtime and midnight? Well, after supper they finished watching the Swiss Family Robinson movie (such a fun classic!) they had started in the afternoon, then we played some rounds of Mexican Train, then they had a nice long bath, then Jeff served them chocolate milk and Oreos, then they had just enough time to watch The Pond movie before the clock struck midnight. Sweet Shav was *barely* hanging on to consciousness, but he made it, and was awake enough to request that I hold him as we greeted the new year. He wanted no part in the go-out-on-the-patio-to-bang-pots-and-pans-and-set-off-firecrackers festivities, except from the comfort of my arms. After that, I carried him up to his bed, amid protests of "I wanted to stay up until MIDNIGHT" (me: "it IS midnight, Shav") and "but it's too EARLY" (me: "actually, it's really late"). I tucked him in bed, then didn't hear a peep from him until about 9:30 this morning. What a way to begin 2014.   

January 1 - My Christmas gift to myself  was to take the family to a local park so I could photograph each of the kids and then blow up a big picture of them for a wall in our living room. While I was photographing Tobin, I didn't realize that Jeff was doing the same to me. 

January 1 - In one of the windowsills in our kitchen sits a cut-glass pineapple which acts as a prism at certain times of the day in certain seasons of the year, depending on how the sun shines in. This morning, I was feeding Moriah her breakfast a little later than usual; and her highchair happened to be placed in such a way that the glass pineapple was throwing a beautiful rainbow on her tray. The dear girl didn't know what to make of it. She gestured for a napkin, then when I gave her one, proceeded to use it to rub at the rainbow as if she could remove it from her tray if she scrubbed hard enough. Of course, that only put the rainbow on the napkin; and then I stretched out my hand and showed her how it would appear there. Pretty fascinating stuff to a one-year-old mind...and who am I kidding, to a 37-year-old mind, too! 

January 1 - This morning, the boys were having a war with their new Nerf guns. Apparently Shav landed a shot on Josiah, so Josiah turned to retaliate. But then Shav piped up shrilly, "The Bible says, 'If somebody shoots you, you can't shoot 'em back'!" Well, OK, it doesn't say that EXACTLY, but close enough.  Shav's strategy worked: Josiah laughed and abandoned the chase. Bam, Josiah, you've just been shot--with the Sermon on the Mount! It's pretty tough to defend against THAT! 

January 1 - Overheard in our living room this morning, spoken by one who shall remain nameless but is older than you might imagine a person to be who says this kind of thing: "I have a finer sense of smell when there are no boogers in my nose." (And no, it wasn't Jeff.) 

January 3 - There are not many things that would make me willingly leave my cozy, warmed-by-a-woodstove home tonight and go out into the 13 degree weather. But Shav's Family Night was one of those things.  He wanted us to eat waffles at home (I love waffles and am always glad when one of the boys chooses that for their Family Night), and then go play indoor mini golf--an excellent plan, except it was SO COLD. But I smiled, put on my heaviest coat, and prepared to shiver.  Actually, the cold was more mental than anything else, since of course the minivan warmed up quickly, and it wasn't as if I really had to suffer even a tiny bit. But even still, returning home and coming inside to stand by the stove felt really, really good. And Shav went to bed a happy boy.   

January 4 - With our temperatures so low these days - and forecasted to be even lower the beginning of the week - my boys were itching to try our hand again at making colorful ice balls like we did last winter. "OK," I told them this evening, "if you'll wait until after I put Moriah in bed tonight and then gently  remind me, we can make them." I wasn't sure I would remember, even if I wanted to! But I was pretty sure THEY wouldn't forget; and sure enough, after they finished watching a movie tonight, they came galloping into the kitchen, exclaiming, "The ice balls! Let's make the ice balls!" So we did, and currently there are four colorful-water-filled balloons outside on our picnic table, in the process of freezing solid. And guess what else there is? Green food-coloring stains ALL OVER my hands! I can't believe I forgot to wear gloves!! When I wrote this post a year ago after our first attempt, I specifically mentioned the need to wear gloves, but I didn't think of it tonight until it was too late. My hands actually look worse than they did in the pictures in this post. My boys think it's cool though, because I look like I'm turning into The Incredible Hulk. I'm glad I can impress them. 

January 4 - David today, while eating breakfast: "Is the Duggar mom pregnant?"
Me: "I don't think so. I haven't heard that she is."
David: "Do you have a baby in your tummy?"
Me: "I don't think so! I haven't heard that I do!" 
David: "Have you felt any kicks in your tummy?"
Me: {much laughter} "No!"
I appreciate David's help with diagnosing pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure I would realize I was pregnant long before I felt kicks in my tummy. 

January 4 - A quote from Nan Fairbrother that often comes to my mind and convicts me of the need to make myself AVAILABLE to show love and affection when my kids need it, no matter how inconvenient it might seem at the time... "There are so many disciplines in being a parent besides the obvious ones like getting up in the night and putting up with the noise during the day. And almost the hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection and not a fountain, to show them we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do."

January 5 - (Jeff posted this) My super man

January 5 - Recently I realized that I had two problems. Yesterday I found one solution to fix them.

Problem #1: Tobin and Shav were taking FOREVER (and a day) to get ready for bed each night. You'd think that since they're four and five (almost six!) years old, they'd have the bedtime routine down by now--bathroom, pajamas, teeth--no biggie, right? Well, you wouldn't believe how many ways they found to d-r-a-g out the process. (OK, if you have kids, you might very well believe it.) I was so tired of having to remind them of what to do next and hurry them along, just at the time of day when I was ready for a mental break myself.

Problem #2: I was not consistently finding/making time each day to read to Tobin and Shav. Sure, they heard me read aloud books for Josiah and David's schooling, and there's benefit to that. And sure, some days I specifically sat down with Tobin and Shav and read books on their level. But it wasn't happening every day, and I regretted that. One of the things I love most about being a mom is reading to my children and sharing together in the pleasure that comes from books, and I hated that so many days were passing by without doing that with my younger sons.

The solution: When I tell Tobin and Shav that it's time to get ready for bed, I also set a timer for 10 minutes. If they are completely ready for bed when the timer goes off, I'll sit and read with them. 

So far we've done it two nights, and it's worked great! We'll see if we can keep it up.  We read a page from a children's Bible storybook and then read another book. There is a whole bookshelf in their room that has books that they would enjoy hearing, so we're working our way through those shelves.

This might not change the world, but it's changing the feel of our evenings, and for that I am most grateful! 

January 7 - I may not have too many things in common with Moses, that mighty man of God, but I did find one similarity while reading my Bible tonight: Moses ran away from a snake.  (Exodus 4:3) That would have been my reaction EXACTLY if I had thrown down a stick and it had become a snake! Wise man, that Moses!!  Of course, in the next verse, God tells him to pick it back up, AND HE DOES. Clearly that's where the similarities between Moses and me end.    

January 7 - Jeff and Josiah in Imperial Beach, CA - Nov. 5, 2002, when Josiah was not quite 5 months old - Jeff is the kind of dad who holds his children up in a multitude of ways, big and small, seen and unseen. I can't imagine a better daddy for my children!   

January 8 - When I think of civil disobedience in the Bible, I immediately think of Peter standing in the Sanhedrin, refusing to obey the command to stop teaching about Jesus. "We must obey God rather than men!" Peter thundered, a strong challenge even for us today.

But there are other examples of civil disobedience, two of which are found in the beginning of Exodus. Remember the midwives Shiphrah and Puah? (You don't? Why not?)  They were the ones who disobeyed Pharoah's orders to kill all the Hebrew boy babies, but they did it in a somewhat sneaky way. When questioned by Pharoah about their refusal to follow orders, they responded, "Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive." I've always wondered if that was true or simply an excuse the midwives used to save their hides...or maybe they deliberately took their time and moved very slowly when called to the side of a Hebrew woman in labor, so that it would actually be accurate.

At any rate, the third example of civil disobedience, and the one that most stood out to me recently, occurred when Pharoah's own daughter went against the orders he gave to all his people: "Every boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live." When she discovered Moses in the basket on the Nile, she immediately knew it was a Hebrew baby. Surely the words of her father ran through her mind. Surely she knew what was expected of her. There she was, literally standing in or near the Nile--what could be easier than to simply toss that Hebrew baby into the water, never to be seen again? But she DIDN'T. She went against her own father's clear command, and history was changed forever by a Pharoah's daughter and by that one helpless little Hebrew boy who grew up to become one of the greatest leaders God's people have ever had.

January 8 - Powerful!  "Truth guides what you say while love guides how, why, and when you say it. When love is the fertile soil, truth becomes a more fruitful seed." - from The Love Dare for Parents

January 9 - Quote of the day, from my eleven-year-old son: "I will never understand why women cry so much," spoken as I sobbed my way through the last chapter of the book Across Five Aprils, a read-aloud from our wonderful Sonlight curriculum.  Maybe God is preparing an extra-emotional girl to be Josiah's wife someday, and that's why he gets to watch me go through all my emotions!   

January 13 - One of the challenges my dad faces as he shepherds my mom through her Alzheimer's journey is helping her find productive, safe activities to fill her time. Carrying in wood for us has been one such activity during the past several years. For one thing, my mom genuinely LOVES to carry in wood, probably because it takes her back to the days of her childhood when she would work with her parents on their farm and carry in wood for their stoves. For another thing, carrying in wood takes time--time which I often feel like I hardly have room in my schedule for. So we have been VERY grateful for her help, and she's been VERY happy to do it.

In the past month or two, however, it's been difficult for her to even do this task--not because she can't physically lift the wood, but because she can't remember where to put it. This afternoon, she came up to my house to do wood, so I stopped what I was doing and walked out with her to the woodshed. We got out the wheelbarrow, I showed her the woodpile to get the wood from, I showed her where in the woodshed to put the wood, I even put a piece of wood there so she could see exactly where to put it, I also wrote a note on a piece of paper and laid it on the floor (in big letters, "Put wood here please."). We went over these instructions quite a few times, and, mind you, this is not a new activity for her at all. She's done this same thing, with this same wheelbarrow, in this same woodshed, for YEARS.

But today, as soon as I finished my explanation, got her started toward the woodpile, and began walking down the hill towards my house, she spoke up. "And," she said hesitantly, "you'll show me where to go?"

It's possible a sigh escaped my lips, but I worked hard to keep a cheerful demeanor. Rather than go through the explanation again about where to get the wood and where to put it, and rather than tell her that I had already explained that, I simply said in a soft voice, "Yes, Mother, I'll tell you where to go."

I think all of us who are walking this Alzheimer's journey need Someone to tell us where to go, because the way is dark and fearful. I desperately need His light to illuminate the way.

January 15 - (Jeff posted this) Tobin and I are out on a breakfast date, and I think he misses having his brothers here to play with.

January 15 - Two lessons I learned today:

1. While driving Josiah and David to their violin lessons this afternoon, an approaching pick-up truck started veering across the center line into my lane. Even though the driver quickly corrected his error, I felt a surge of anger flash through my spirit. But then I sensed God's Spirit say, "Pray for that driver. Pray that he makes it home safely. Pray that he doesn't cause injury to anyone else. Just pray for him." How good it would be if I could use those moments of frustration while driving to become triggers pointing me towards prayer. Throughout my days, I try to do that with other things--for example, while folding yet another pair of socks, I am sometimes thoughtful enough to use that opportunity to say a quick prayer for the wearer of those socks. I'm grateful to have learned another prayer trigger, and I hope I will be faithful to use it when I'm out on the roads.

2. When your child asks, "When can we snuggle?", the very best answer is simply, "Right now."

January 17 - Earlier this week, I was telling Josiah about an email that I got from the Shenandoah Valley Children's Choir about a choir retreat this coming Saturday. He was asking me for details, of which I knew none, so I said, "All the email said was 'Saturday, January 18, retreat'." "Well," he quipped, "at least it didn't say 'attack'!" It took me a second to get it, but then I laughed so much that he looked at me strangely and said, "Mom, I didn't think it was THAT funny." Well, my dear boy, I did! It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.    

January 17 - I just looked out the window and realized that it's snowing again, and I had NO IDEA AT ALL that we might get snow tonight. Maybe I've been living under a rock the past few days. Maybe I need to start paying more attention to the weather forecast. Maybe I should have brought more wood onto the porch today. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it, but should just be quiet and enjoy the beauty.   

January 23 - Sometimes I like being the cool, fun mom who bundles up and goes outside to sled with her children. And sometimes I'd much rather be the mom who naps on the couch with her four-year-old while the older three go sledding.   

January 25 - I may be 37 and have a perfectly clean driving record, but I still start to sweat when I'm driving in front of a police car! That's what happened to me today as I was coming home from David's gymnastic class, and a state police car started following me on 33. I had a sudden urge to take the first left turn and go for a scenic detour through Dayton!!  I LIKE policeman--after all, I'm practically married to one ;-)--and I highly respect their role as guardians in society and appreciate the personal sacrifices each one makes to do his job. But I'd rather not have one driving behind me. 


Also, the sight of Mennonite girls ice skating on a farm pond, their flowered skirts flowing behind as they glide along, is just about the prettiest, most wholesome sight one could hope to see in Virginia in January. 

January 25 - (Jeff posted this) Date Night

January 29 - In my read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year plan, I've gotten past the dramatic stories of Genesis and the first part of Exodus, and now I've moved into the "boring" chapters, full of civil law codes (I suppose lawyers love these!) and detailed instructions for tabernacle observances and the like. But in the midst of these chapters (Exodus 21 and 22), two very non-boring things stood out to me. First, Exodus 21:32 says, "If the bull gores a male or female slave, the owner must pay thirty shekels of silver to the master of the slave, and the bull must be stoned." Thirty shekels of silver, eh? That sounds awfully familiar. So basically the price traitorous Judas received for Jesus, the King of the whole universe, was the price given for a slave. Hmmm... 

Also, Exodus 22:28 has a simple, but convicting, instruction: "Do not blaspheme God [OK, I think I'm pretty good in this area] or curse the ruler of your people [OUCH!]." Honestly, I get so sick and tired of politicians on both sides of the great divide, and I KNOW my level of respect for them is not where it should be. Nor do I pray for them like I should (1 Timothy 2). Ouch again.

Maybe the end of Exodus isn't quite as boring as I once thought!

January 29 - Have you ever seen a picture of you that someone took when you didn't realize it, when you weren't planning to be photographed; and when you see it, you think, "Oh no. Do I really look like THAT?" I'm not talking about the laugh lines you didn't realize you had, or the gray hair that shows up more in photographs than you realized (although I COULD speak from personal experience about both of those!), but I'm referring to the facial expression you're making in the picture. The grouchy face. I've seen ones of myself that make me think I must have been sad or mad or SOMETHING; but then I realize no, I was feeling pretty normal. Maybe normal looks a lot more grumpy than I ever imagined!

When I picked up Josiah from his rehearsal with the Shenandoah Valley Children's Choir last Monday evening, a kind, generous choir mom handed me a bag of goodies--some joke books for David, some gymnastics stickers, and for me, a book called Prayers for Homeschool Moms. I started reading it that night and have been enjoying the daily nourishment I receive from it. But the thing that most stood out to me so far is this excerpt from one of the prayers: "Lord, continue to teach me to look into my own heart so that I might become the loving and joyful instructor you desire me to be...Let my words bring encouragement, let my face reveal the love I feel."

That stopped me in my tracks. How much love do I feel for my children? An immeasurable amount! But does my face reflect that? When my six-year-old hollers my name so loud and long that it sounds like he's bellowing for a cow a mile away, is my face joyful as I teach him that's not necessary?  When my four-year-old asks me to put on his socks when he and I both know full well he can do it himself, does the love shine as I gently guide him towards independence? When my older boys eagerly tell me the plot twists of books or movies I'm not overly interested in (superheroes, for example), does my face light up at their enthusiasm? When my toddler fusses to be picked up and wedges her little body between my legs and the oven until I reach down to pick her up while I stir the chili, do I smile at her to show her how grateful I am for her?

I have a feeling, if I had a mirror held up to me all day, I would be SHOCKED by what I see. Oh Lord, please help my face reveal the love I feel!

(I will now walk around the house and smile at all my children...) 

January 31 - I'm really trying hard to read the whole Bible this year, but I'm reminded again of why it's so difficult for me. Besides the customary oops-I-forgot-to-read-yesterday situation, I have another problem: when I'm reading the daily portion, sometimes a verse will come along close to the beginning of the reading, and it will hit my heart so hard that I have to pause and reflect on it. In my Bible, "selah" should be printed after every couple of verses!  

Today, for instance, I started to read; but when I had only gone a quarter or so of the way through the allotted chapters, I came across Exodus 24:4 which simply says, "Moses then wrote down everything the Lord had said." I didn't get any further than that, because my thoughts started to drift...

I thought about how fortunate the Israelites were that their leader was able to write. How much of the history of God's people during that era would be lost if not for Moses' ability!

Then I thought about how he almost certainly was taught reading and writing (and many other skills) in the court of Pharaoh, his adoptive home.

Then I thought about how God brought great good from the tragedy of Moses being torn from his birth home.

Then I thought about how it wasn't an accident at all that Moses' life unfolded the way it did; as a matter of fact, it was planned that way from the beginning.

Then I thought about how DIFFICULT and PAINFUL it must have been for Moses' mother (and other family members, too, of course) to give up Moses in that way. To have him be saved was obviously a great blessing! But to have to hand him over to someone else to raise--someone who did not share your faith and would not raise him at all similar to your way of life--must have felt to Moses' mother like she was ripping out her heart.

Then I thought about how she had NO IDEA how God was using that time in Pharaoh's house to prepare her son--HER SON!--to lead all of His people. God had planted seeds in Moses that wouldn't come to fruition until YEARS later.

Then I thought about how, if this was true for Moses, it's also true for my children. Not that they'll ever lead a multitude of people across a desert.  But God DOES have a specific purpose and plan for the lives of each of my children, and He IS already planting things within them and shaping the course of their lives RIGHT NOW to prepare them for the future that only He can see.

So the next time I wonder, "Where in the world did THAT attribute of my child come from?", the answer just might be, "God." 

January 31 - There's something so incredibly special about a newborn baby, but I think there's an extra measure of grace that comes with a baby born after a miscarriage. With my own two after-miscarriage babies (Tobin and Moriah), my awareness of "something could go wrong, and it's a gift when things go right" was higher, and I'm sure that resulted in my gratitude being deeper. Which is not to take away from the specialness of all my children and the gratitude I felt with all of them!  At any rate, I had the privilege of meeting a sweet baby girl today, an after-miscarriage baby, little Avalon; and I couldn't help but sing praises in my heart for the wonderful gift that she is to her family. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, and this dear little one is a beautiful reminder of that!