Thursday, March 31, 2016

I Want to Talk about the Puppies

I really want to talk about the puppies.  I want to share the pictures and tell the story of the day Willow gave birth.  I want to go back and fill in the gaps and post the pictures I took (but never posted) as the puppies grew.  I want to record which puppy went to which family and share the pictures I took as we said goodbye to each one.  I want to do a follow-up post and write down the new names of the puppies and include pictures that the new owners have sent to me.  I want to do all of that!

But I can't.  I just can't.  Not yet anyway.

The reason is simple: those 10 little puppies, that I wasn't even sure I wanted, so endeared themselves to me that, now that they're gone, I miss them intensely.  

It's slightly ridiculous--no, make that more than slightly!  Part of the time I'm laughing at myself for how silly I'm being, and part of the time I'm fighting to hold back the tears (and not always succeeding).  Ridiculous, I tell you!

I thought my prevailing emotion, once all the puppies were gone, would be relief.  I had NO IDEA it would be grief.  

Don't misunderstand: I'm incredibly grateful for the GREAT homes the puppies went to (and it THRILLS me every time one of the new owners sends me pictures and updates), and of course there is no possible way we could have kept 10 puppies!  But my head knows that, and still my heart misses them.  Silly, silly heart.

I tried looking through some pictures tonight, and it was too much.  They grew up entirely too fast!  It's hard to believe that these little sweethearts, just learning how to get around when they were a couple of weeks old... quickly grew into these strong, able puppies, exploring and bouncing around in our yard.

The last morning we had the puppies, I was standing in the kitchen watching them on the porch as I OFTEN did, and I happened to decide to take a little video of them.  I knew there was a possibility that one of them might be taken that day but never once imagined that all three would be gone in just a few hours.  When I said goodbye to them at the end of the video, I didn't know the real goodbye would be coming so soon.

I'm sure that after some time goes by, I'll be able to think about the puppies and look at their pictures without feeling such an ache; but until then, maybe I'll stick to lighter, more cheerful topics!

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