The Sweetest Affirmation

When I evaluate myself as a mother, I often end up with a feeling of regret, rather than an exultant pat on the back.  "I should have done this differently," I tell myself.  "I shouldn't have said that.  Why couldn't I have been more patient?  Why didn't I use a kinder tone of voice?  When will I ever become the mother that I want to be?"

But recently I've been encouraged by an unexpected source of affirmation: Moriah and her doll.

First thing this morning, as soon as Moriah was dressed and hair pinned back out of her face, we came downstairs and I gave her a cup of milk to drink.  She perched on the bench in the kitchen and held her doll ("Baby" is as original a name as we've been able to come up with for it) on her lap.  And then she started crooning to it and comforting it and telling me that Baby was sad because she hurt her head and so on.  The compassion that oozed out and the love she lavished on Baby--not just this morning, but all the time--was so sweet to see.

And then it dawned on me: Moriah learned how to be a mother from watching me.  She is such a mirror: I often catch her imitating things that I never consciously taught her, but she's picked them up simply from observing.  And that is how she's learned to mother her dolls.

If Moriah learned to be such a caring, careful mother from me, maybe I'm not failing after all?

Which is not to say that I can now relax, pat myself on the back for the next 20 years, and think I have it made.  I don't.  I still have SO MANY areas in which to grow--as a woman, a wife, a mother, etc.  

But today, I'm giving thanks for the tender encouragement God gave my heart, and the fact that He chose to do it through this Little Mama makes me feel all gooshy inside.  :)

 We acquired this doll, by the way, from a thrift store back in January when the whole family went to Goodwill one night so I could get a few things I needed before my Canada trip.  Jeff was in charge of the kids while I did my shopping, and I think he let each one choose something to bring home.  This was Moriah's choice.  This all happened shortly after we had given her a big, soft doll for Christmas (and a doll bed and stroller); she liked the doll we gave her (and still plays with sometimes), but she LOVES this one.  I have now concluded that it's useless for me to buy any more dolls for Moriah because inevitably she prefers ones that other people have given her...or, as I now know, ones that cost about 50 cents at a thrift store.  I give up!  ;-)

 The doll has never had pants, but Moriah doesn't seem to care or even notice; the soft brown body is good enough for her.  And with the pretty pink shirt, no one notices the fact that the doll is pants-less, right?  ;-)  It wasn't until after I took these photos that I realized that today, Moriah and the doll matched.  Except, Moriah was indeed wearing pants.  It's a good thing.  :)

The doll didn't come with pants but did come with this pacifier that has a little magnet in it that helps it stay on the doll's mouth (if it's not bumped too hard).  Moriah inexplicably calls it her "gas," and when she says things like, "Baby wants her gas," I nearly die laughing.  Maybe to Moriah, it looks somewhat like a nozzle we use to put gas in the car??