Four Things I'm Taking Away from Canada

I'm still floating a few inches above the ground, held aloft by the joyful memories of my visit in British Columbia.  I really run out of words quickly when I try to describe how special that time was.  :)

Soon I hope to post lots more pictures and words about what I actually did there, but tonight I want to describe four specific ways that I have been changed as a result of my time up north.  God used my conversations with the family there to teach and inspire me, and I am happily reaping the results of that!  :)

First, some of this only makes sense if you know that my relatives there live on a communal farm, which, to be perfectly honest, seemed a little strange to me as I was growing up.  ;-)  But now, despite my aunt's efforts to give me a balanced view and help me understand the difficult parts of corporate living, I am thoroughly impressed by the beauty of it all.  I could say more about that, but let me dive into these four specific ways I've been changed since a week and a day ago when I bounced my way through the cold air and landed in a small airport in Fort St. John, BC.

Dishes

On most days, all the residents of the farm eat together for lunch and supper; and as soon as they are done, they all hop up and get busy washing the dishes, putting leftover food away, clearing the tables, and setting them for the next meal.  I could not believe how fast they accomplished all of this.  I was particularly impressed by everyone's willingness to pitch in and help--men and women, young and old.  Since I didn't know where anything went, about the only thing I could do that was helpful was to dry dishes; but I was glad to do so, and as I stood there with cloth in hand, I marveled at the speed and efficiency of the clean-up around me.

"If they can do this so quickly and cheerfully, why can't I accomplish this in my own kitchen with only the dishes from the eight people that gather around my table for dinner each day?" I asked myself.

My next thought followed quickly: "Aha!  Maybe I CAN do this!  After all, my kids are old enough to help; and if I just spend a little time training them, I'm sure we too could become an efficient team to conquer the dishes each evening!"  That thought made me giddy.  :)

Let me tell you, doing the dishes at the end of the day has been one of my long-standing housekeeping mountains; and more times than I'd like to admit, I've stumbled and fallen and not ascended that particular mountain in victory!  It always seemed to happen that I wasn't able to get to the dishes until after all the kids were in bed; and, even when it went smoothly, that whole get-the-kids-in-bed process was a huge energy drain that capped off days that always seemed exhausting.  Most evenings, walking back into the kitchen and facing the dishes felt a little like running in the Boston Marathon or hiking the entire Appalachian Trail: it just wasn't going to happen!  ;-)  I would do some of the work, but finishing it consistently every evening felt unattainable.  (And I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's not the first time I've confessed embarrassing things to my readers!)  ;-)  

Because of the example I saw in Canada, I've already implemented changes.  Tonight after supper, for example, Shav went around the table, collected the silverware, and put it in the dishwasher.  Tobin gathered the cups and glasses and took care of them, putting the empty ones in the dishwasher and the not-empty ones in the refrigerator in case someone wanted a drink later (someone ALWAYS wants a drink later).  David got the plates, scraped off the ones that needed it, then placed those carefully in the dishwasher.  Josiah was ready to dry the dishes I needed to hand-wash; but as it turned out, there were only a very few tonight, and they all fit in the draining rack, so I had him take recycling down to the garage and something down to the cellar, etc.  

Guess how long it took?

Well, I didn't time it so I can't say for sure, but--surprise, surprise!--it wasn't very long.  Can you see my sheepish grin through the computer?  ;-)

The real question is, "Why didn't I do this long ago??"  I suppose it's because until I saw it in action in BC, the idea I had of how we could cooperate in this way was so foggy of a concept that I didn't push to make it reality.  Seeing is believing; and in this case, the act of seeing cooperative clean-up after meals on a farm in Canada made me believe that such cooperation was possible in my kitchen in Virginia.  And in the process, I finally have hope that one of the worst homemaking hurdles for me can finally be overcome.  What a relief!!  :)

Homeschooling

Talk to any homeschooling mom, and you will likely hear a familiar refrain: "I can't do it all!  I never have enough time to get to everything I'd like to cover!  I'm afraid there will be gaps in my children's education!  I just can't do it all!!"

I've thought these things.  Correction: I think these things.  The challenge of "doing it all" is real and permanent, I do believe!  But watching my relatives during this trip inspired me to make a few changes that are breathing new life into how I homeschool.  (And any homeschool mom knows that the end of January is a REALLY good time for that to happen because by then, the inspiration of new beginnings has worn off and winter doldrums have set in and fresh ideas are especially meaningful when homeschooling is prone to lag in the middle of the year!)  ;-)

To be specific, I was impressed by the places my relatives set aside for educating their children (and I'll show a few pictures of that in another post), by the time set aside for schooling, and by the importance of it.  

I'll be honest, I have relaxed so much in our schooling that I'm sure I have fallen too much into a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of education--NOT my preferred method.  ;-)  I appreciate the relaxed pace of our days, and the joy of dropping the lesson plan when a significant, deep conversation begins, and things like that; but I do NOT appreciate the stress I have felt, knowing that I was shortchanging my children by not ever getting to some really important things they need to be learning.  Shame on me!

Through talking with my cousin Daniel's wife Susan who is homeschooling her two daughters and by seeing how the children of another cousin Ethan are being educated by their two grandmas (one of whom is my Aunt Joyce, in case you're having trouble sorting out these family relationships) ;-), I have been inspired to immediately make a few changes.  For example, I just ordered the DVDs that go with the spelling curriculum we use, so that Josiah and David can do that subject (basically) independently, rather than waiting for me to have time to do it with them (which "never" happens, since my minutes always fill up with other things, it seems).  I also pulled out a bulletin board that Dad passed along to me when he retired and no longer needed all of his office things.  Since 2010, it's been lounging against the wall in Jeff's closet, being absolutely useless; but I never got rid of it because I had high hopes for how I could use it someday!  ;-)  I'll do a post about that (hopefully) soon, but for now I'll say that getting that ready to hang on the wall has brought greater organization and impetus to our homeschool.  Another change I made was rearranging some furniture in the living room to make it more learning-friendly.  Well, I should admit that I'm still in the process of doing that, and part of the living room is still a mess because of it.  But it's getting there!  :)  When completed, I think the set-up will make it easier to do what we need to do, especially as I help Tobin and Shav with their work.  And lastly, I'm filled again with enthusiasm and a renewed commitment to put the time into my children's education that they deserve.  It's like the beginning of the school year, with plans and dreams galore, all over again!  :)

Beauty

Maybe the image of a collective farm in the wilds of northeastern BC doesn't conjure up images of beauty in your mind.  Maybe you imagine scarcity and barrenness.  Maybe I did before my trip.

If so, I was wrong, because what struck me in Aunt Joyce's home, and in Daniel and Susan's home, and in Ethan and Jenny's home, was beauty--beauty and warmth and coziness and neatness and peace and all kinds of attractive things!  :)

In my aunt's home, I smiled to see some "pretties" that she took back from my grandparents' farm: an old framed picture of my grandma when she was a little girl that now hangs in the bedroom where I slept, for example; a needlework piece with a nature scene and a saying about how prayer changes everything; delicate china dishes, etc.  Besides that, I was so impressed by the paintings that my aunt has done; she has not only painted pictures to hang on the wall, but she has beautified things like moose antlers, a stool, a glass dish, even lightbulbs.  :)  I, who get sweaty palms just drawing a stick figure, ;-) was amazed at the gorgeous things that have flowed from my aunt's fingers!  :)

Both my cousins-in-law (is that a word?) ;-), Susan and Jenny, have made truly lovely homes; and I smiled when I heard them say things like, "Oh, this just used to be a big open room, but Daniel put up these walls to make bedrooms," and "Ethan likes to work with wood, and he made this furniture for our wedding."  As if those things are easy to do!  ;-)

In my own home, before we even moved in upon our return from Israel, I had reams of ideas of what I wanted to do in this space: what colors to paint the walls, where to place furniture, how to decorate, and so forth.  Reality struck when we were finally living here, realizing that all of those ideas can only come to fruition with a fortuitous mix of time and money!  :)  Needless to say, my plans for how to fix up my new nest slowed down significantly; and honestly, that's fine.  That's life!  

In more recent years, I have been so influenced by the minimalist movement, so careful to spend money frugally when there are so many needs around the world, and so caught up in my busy life, that I have been reluctant to add much at all to our possessions, especially to such "unnecessary" things as decorations.  As a result, some areas of my walls, for example, have remained bare that would probably look nicer with something hanging there!  ;-)  When I think about which rooms I find most attractive in my home, I definitely think about Moriah's room and my room; and the thing about both of them is that they have quite a few decorations in them, but they are still neat and orderly.  Most of the time.  :)  Maybe a minimalist look isn't really what I should be striving for.  :)

Now I'm not advocating going hog-wild and spending hundreds of dollars to decorate the place (Jeff is happy to hear that) ;-), but the past few days I've been finding the wheels in my head turning as I think about what I can do--cheaply--to add some beauty to our home.  The bulletin board I mentioned before is not only a change to help with homeschooling, but it's also a step towards bringing a splash of color to a wall that was previously empty.  Because my current decorating style is influenced heavily by the 5+ children I have and the method of education that we've chosen, I have to bridge the gap between the furnishings and decorations that I find most attractive and the ones that actually work well in this phase of life.  And believe me, there is a gap!  ;-)

At any rate, all of those things that stood out to me about my relatives' homes--the beauty, warmth, coziness, neatness, peace, etc.--are what I long to have here in my own home.  I'm part of the way there, but still have a ways to go, and am thankful for the push in that direction.

Humility

If there's one character trait that must be essential to live in a setting like my aunt and uncle chose long ago for their family, it's humility.  Having so many personalities, each with his or her own set of experiences and opinions, rubbing together in such close quarters could not possibly be a success without large doses of humility; and I was fortunate to see it lived out, even during my brief time there.  

For example, one day the group met together to discuss a new work responsibility that the men needed to handle; and after it was decided that this was indeed a task that needed to be done, someone said that a schedule would be set up for when each man would take his turn to do this, and everyone calmly agreed.  Not a single word of complaint was uttered.  It was amazing to see.

If anyone follows the example of Jesus in this way, it's them.  If anyone can say with Jesus, in the words of Luke 22:27, "I am among you as one who serves," it's them.  If anyone takes seriously Luke 17:10 which says, "So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty'," it's them.  If anyone lives out the second chapter of Philippians, it's them.

Does it seem like I'm putting them on a pedestal?  Yeah, I probably am.  I really was impressed by their attitude toward working together and serving each other.  But I know they're not perfect in this, and I realize it's been a struggle at times--just like it would be for any of us.  However, their unique living situation has produced a unique outcome: an overflow of tangible humility that sacrifices one's own desires for the good of others--and in the process, finds one's own needs cared for as well.

I want to be like that.

In the early years of my marriage, I sometimes made a game out of how much I could serve Jeff.  It was a race, a competition to see who could be the first to meet a need.  In that kind of a game, everyone wins!  :)

I am not always like that anymore.

Seeing a group of people demonstrating such a deep level of humility made me realize anew how far I need to go--and what's more, gave me a good reason for pursuing this!  Because a life lived in humility is a wondrous thing.

So there you have it: four specific things to take-away from my short visit to Canada.  Four areas in which I can say, "Because of this trip, I am not the same."  Those are some pretty good souvenirs, I'd say.  ;-)

And if you're thinking that the tiny pine cone pictured above is also something I took away from Canada, you'd be mistaken.  That little bit of beauty got to stay right there on the farm, cast aside after I had admired its perfect form.

I had more important things to bring home with me, after all--things that didn't take up any room in my suitcase or cause a problem when I went through customs!  :)