In a day and a half, if all goes as we expect, Jeff, our children, and I will walk into a darkened room in a doctor's office across town and watch in utter delight as grainy black-and-white images flash on a screen and an ultrasound technician explains to us what we're seeing. And then, if our baby is as cooperative as we hope, the moment of revelation will come; and we'll hear the excited proclamation, "It's a BOY," or "It's a GIRL"! And our rejoicing will be great indeed.
As you can imagine, there is quite a wide variety of opinions in our family about what this baby is; and whenever one of the boys is asked what he thinks it is, he'll often respond with something like, "I think it's a girl, but I hope it's a boy," or vice versa. As for me, most of the time I feel like it's a boy; but sometimes I remind myself that it actually might be a girl. I suppose because most people assume that I must want a girl, I tend to push back against that, just to go against people's expectations (like I did with the expectation that we must surely be done after Moriah because now we had our girl). ;-)
The truth is, either way is really and truly and absolutely and sincerely and genuinely and positively fine with me! Better than fine, in fact!! :)
We have clothes and things for both boys and girls, Jeff and I have chosen names for either a boy or a girl, I can see the advantage of having a girl so that Moriah could have a sister but also the advantage of having a boy so Moriah could retain her special place as the only girl. I can easily picture the boys falling in love with another little sister or with another little brother. Either way is really OK! :)
But one thing is certain: I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO FIND OUT. :)
Towards the beginning of this pregnancy, I was a little ambivalent about whether we should find out; and if Jeff had been keen to wait until birth, I would have gone along with that. But when Jeff said that he would rather go ahead and find out during this ultrasound, I was instantly on board with that plan! :)
Because I'm pretty sure this is our last baby, I am beyond eager to find out who this little caboose is so I can mentally fill in this missing face in our family portrait. I want to know, "THIS is what my family will look like. THIS is who I am as a mom--either a mom of 4 sons and 2 daughters, or a mom of 5 sons and 1 daughter." That sense of completion that I've been craving for a long time in regards to our family is so close I can almost taste it; and if all goes according to plan, Wednesday morning will advance me a huge step towards putting the pieces of that puzzle together.
Several months ago, I had toyed with the idea of finding out the sex of the baby but not telling anyone until the baby was born, but Jeff talked me out of that. So if you're curious what this little one is and are looking forward to checking in on Wednesday to find out, you can thank Jeff that you won't have to wait until September!! ;-)
and it wasn't our intention this time!), but one of the great things about it is that Moriah is old enough to be somewhat aware of what's going on and is verbally competent enough to express in words her own excitement about the new baby. In the repetitive fashion common to two- and three-year-olds, she has asked many times in a voice of glorious anticipation, "Can I be a big, big sister?" and of course, my heart melts every time she does that. :) She is particularly looking forward to pushing the new baby in the stroller; and every time she tells me that, I make a mental note to carefully guard the new baby when he or she is in the stroller so that no unauthorized wild stroller rides occur!! ;-)
The most surprising part of this pregnancy so far is that, despite my obvious baby bump (or maybe I should come up with a larger term than "bump" to describe this growth!) ;-), I have actually only gained about half a pound. When I got pregnant, I was weighing in at about 164; and this morning when I weighed, I was 164.4. You might be incredulous enough about that to send a scale repairman because you think something must surely be wrong with mine! ;-) Well, as far as I know, it's working just fine. ;-) But I have been convicted over and over by this that I was really carrying around too much weight before I got pregnant, and I have grand dreams of being disciplined enough to slim down (gradually, of course) quite a bit after this baby is born. It's easy enough to say that in the spring of 2015 when I really don't have to think too much about my weight than it is in the spring of 2016 when the rubber meets the road and we can tell if my hopes of getting into better shape come to fruition! We shall see! ;-)
And in a day and a half, we shall see something else: our first glimpse of this precious, deeply-loved child. Be he a boy or be she a girl, this baby is a GIFT and is already cherished beyond my ability to express.
See you soon, sweet baby of mine!!! :)
~ photos taken by David on Sunday, April 26, when I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant...clearly, Moriah didn't want me to be lonely in the pictures...such a considerate girl to keep me company like that! :) ~