But many other things about having a girl didn't pop into my mind right away; and obviously, there are still many, MANY more surprises ahead as I embark on the mothering-a-daughter journey. But a few waves of knowledge have broken on the beach of my consciousness, helped along by the things people have written and said to me in the few days since our big announcement. For example, in an email, Stacey mentioned dolls. And I thought, "Dolls? We don't have any, except an old cracked porcelain one that I saved from my childhood. Peaches is her name, and I am practically giddy about the thought of my daughter someday playing with her. But that's many years off; and long before then, she'll 'need' to have a soft doll!" Then I saw a post on Bonnie's blog about a doll she made for one of her daughters, and I regretted the fact that I can't sew a stitch and will never be able to make a doll for my daughter! So that was the doll wave, breaking into my mind.
Then Valerie mentioned in a comment about the first load of laundry with pink clothes. "Oh my!" raced through my head. "I've never thought about that! That WILL be different!!" :)
In an email, a friend mentioned the book 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, and I realized that a whole new realm of parenting books just opened up to me: the mother-daughter books. Wow! So I added that book to my Christmas wish list, since Jeff has been asking me what I want for Christmas. I know, I know, it's a little too early to start having those conversations with my girl; but always be prepared, right?? ;-)
Valerie (a different one than mentioned above) left a comment about looking forward to the three-generation picture with my baby, me, and my mom. I hadn't even thought of that yet! I remember well how Valerie's daughter Aliesha posted a very special picture on her blog of four generations of women in her family (and the oldest was my kindergarten teacher!). How special to now have the chance to do a multi-generational female picture of my own!! :)
Valerie (the first one!) mentioned hair bows and wondered if they're popular for baby girls here in my part of Virginia. I emailed her back and had to confess that I had always thought those bows were slightly ridiculous for tiny girl babies. Some of those bows are almost bigger than the poor child's head!! :) But now that I'm a mother of a girl, will I look at hair bows in a different light?! This is something I *need* to think about now but never had to in the past. :)
Today the song "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman came on the radio, and suddenly the emotion and tears swept over me so strongly that I had to stop what I was doing and lean against the wall for support. Fortunately, no one was around to wonder what was wrong with me. ;-) I've always appreciated the sentiment of that song; but until I had a daughter, it never affected me with this much power. Another wave of understanding breaks on me: all the parent/daughter sappy :) songs now apply to our family!
Other waves of knowledge that have washed over me include mother/daughter events (whereas before they didn't even cause a blip on my mental radar, now they actually mean something to me), the stages of maturation that a developing woman's body goes through (uh oh, now I can no longer put all "the talks" with our children on Jeff's shoulders!), and most of all, her wedding if she is blessed with a husband. When I think of my beloved Jeff walking his baby girl down the aisle at her wedding, I am completely at a loss as to how I will ever manage to hold it together and not turn into an absolute mess of tears and sobs. How do mothers of daughters do that anyway? :)
It's only been three days since we learned that a girl is on the way, and already so many waves have washed over me. You other mothers of daughters are hereby given permission to laugh freely at me, since from your perspective you know of the MANY things I haven't even begun to consider yet. :)
Ah, well, when the waves come, let 'em roll. I cherish every single one. :)
7 comments:
I love it! The bow comment made me laugh too. Amanda was born in Texas and her foster mom had a big bow headband on her in each of her daily pictures. I'd say there was a different band for every day of her three weeks with Rene but I can't be sure. Do you know how many bow head bands I put on her? None! They look so uncomfortable and would get smooshed under her hat. In our part of the country going out without a hat would be considered neglect for sure, though!
A whole new world has opened up for you!
I am right there with you!! I don't care for the stretchy-band, enormous hairbows (or flowers?) either, but when people (strangers) CONTINUALLY called Susannah a boy - even when she was dressed to the 9's in PINK!!! HELLO?!?! - I bought some bow clips to put in her hair (I think she was about 6 mo. old). Sappy parent/daughter songs - oh yes, sometimes I have to turn the radio off or my emotions can't handle it! Thinking of her moving out... or getting married... oh my!!
Welcome to the world of being mommy to a baby girl :)
Well, I guess some of those things I haven't given much thought too. I do think it will be a huge emotional event whenever any of my children get married. But the rest of the stuff, well, it doesn't happen all at once. Sure, the pink clothes are always in season, but a newborn doesn't care much about a doll, and when she starts wanting dolls, she won't be needing "the talk", and so on. You'll do so great! I know you will, and you'll do each part of the mother-of-a-daughter role splendidly as the right time for it comes.
Of course, your daughter may not be a 'girlie' girl! Now we'll all have a good laugh is she ends up dressed in blue, and spending all her time playing soldiers with her brothers, playing with their trains and cars, and being loudest and fastest of all of them! *I* was that kind of girl, and my eldest daughter was the same. I never played with a doll in my life, choosing my older brother's cars and soldiers instead. Outside, I ran, played football (soccer) with them, and was happy to be 'one of the boys'! My eldest daughter?? Exactly the same. She just was not born to wear pink. Our second daughter though was quite different. I could see her in pink from the day she was born. They are now 14 and 16. They're both 'young ladies', but my eldest is still NOT a pink girl! But whatever she is, she'll give you the most wonderful opportunity to have that mother-daughter relationship... and that is priceless, regardless of what colour of packaging in which it comes :)
(Can you tell I'm excited for you?!) x
Well, Davene. I'm just now getting the wonderful news of GIRL. It was funny because I read the top post first, which said nothing of the news, and I stopped and said a quick prayer for a healthy baby. Then I had a moment of "should I pray that it's a girl?" because I'm never sure whether to do that or not (I have several friends who have wonderful armies of boys in their house--and my best friend from college had four boys, then a girl, just like you!). I decided to keep reading before I made up my mind, and was overjoyed to hear about the little lady. Because it IS a wonderful thing to get to mother a daughter. A slightly more complicated? wonderful thing. I'm truly thankful and delighted for the news of a healthy baby who happens to be a girl!
Oh, and my daughters' curly hair meant I didn't have to worry about any hair accoutrements until it got long enough to impede their vision. Then I got small clips with small bows attached. And, yes, there are people who will call her a boy regardless of all the pink. She won't mind a bit.
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