Daughter

It's not a word that rolls easily off my tongue.  Daughter.  My daughter.  When I read an email from a friend today in which she wrote, "You have a daughter now!!!!!", tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.  A daughter - can it be?  If you happen to see me during the next few days or weeks and, for no apparent reason, I'm grinning like a fool, it will likely be because I'm remembering that a girl-child inhabits my womb and I'm fully savoring the fact that I have a daughter!  I think it's going to take a little while to sink in though.  :)

Several of you have asked about the reactions of the boys and other people we told, so I decided to have fun with a little guessing game.  Who do you think said or did the following upon first hearing the news that it's a girl?  (The choices for answers are Jeff, Josiah, David, my dad, my mom, Jeff's sister, the ladies who work at the barbershop, and me.)

A:  "WHAT???"
B:  (a little sadly) "I wanted it to be a boy."
C:  ...wild, excited screaming...
D:  after the normal congratulations..."Had to go buy you a girl outfit today."
E:  "I tried not to hope, but I was hoping it was a girl."
F:  ...crying...
G:  "Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  Praise God!  Hallelujah!!!"
H:  (in a happy daze) "It's a girl!"...again, a little while later, "It's a girl!"...later still, "It's a girl!"

I'll post the answers tomorrow.  :)

So.  The ultrasound.  Let me see if I can remember all the details...

Time passed slowly yesterday as I waited for my afternoon appointment to roll around.  I was SO eager to find out the news!  But eventually, the clock crawled to the right time, and the door into the waiting room was opened, and my name was called.  IT'S TIME!

Jeff and the older three boys went with me to the appointment, while Shav stayed home for his nap, attended by his grandpa.  Josiah and David were both eager to be a part of this ultrasound, and Tobin, hearing their excitement, didn't want to be left out.  I didn't know how it would go, having all three of them in the room; and I was inclined to leave Tobin at home.  Would he talk too much--and too loudly?  Would he grow weary of sitting and begin to explore the room, touching things he shouldn't?  But Jeff was game to try it; and since I knew he would have the care of Tobin, I agreed.  As it turned out, all the boys did beautifully; and it wasn't a problem at all to have them there.

Josiah sat in the chair closest to me; and as the ultrasound progressed, he asked all sorts of question--good questions--about what he was seeing.  Lori, the technician, was kind and patient in answering his questions; and I even learned a few things from what he asked!  For example, when she was checking the heart, there was one view with a row of white round things "poking" up.  "What are they?", Josiah wanted to know.  The baby's ribs!  I didn't know that.  :)  I might have seen something similar in another ultrasound, but it had never stood out to me before so I hadn't identified what it was.  Lori explained to Josiah that bones show up white in the ultrasound and liquids appear as black; I guess I knew that, but I hadn't thought about it that succinctly before.  It was fun to learn, while I was lying there.  :)

One another thing Lori did that really stood out to Josiah, even meriting a mention from him today, was that, when she put the goop on my tummy, she first held the ultrasound wand to my skin without any of the goop.  Guess what showed up on the screen?  Nothing!  As soon as she put a little goop on the wand, we could see the inside of me clearly.  There has to be that liquid connection to make the ultrasound work.  This was another thing that I knew, but didn't know as vividly as I know now.  :)

At one point during the ultrasound--I think it might have been when Lori was measuring the baby's legs--Tobin said, "That looks like a rocket!"  And this morning, when he was telling my dad about the experience yesterday, he said that the new baby is a different color than us!  For him to see a fuzzy black and white image on the screen and then for us to tell him that's the new baby - well, it's not hard to see why he might think she looks really different than us!  :)

Lori, who has always impressed me (ever since we first met her in 2004 when she did the ultrasound that told us David was a boy!) with her professionalism and expertise, began the ultrasound by checking the position of the baby.  Very early on (she told us later), she saw that it was a girl; but because our little girlie was being modest and sort of crossing her legs at the ankles, we couldn't get a clear view.  "We'll come back to that," Lori said, as she went on to other parts of the body.  Even if I had had a clear view at that point in time, I honestly would not have known it was a girl.  I've just never seen that before, so I wasn't confident in identifying it!  One thing I know, it doesn't look like a boy.  ;-)

All the while, I felt such peace and happiness.  I was completely enjoying the whole experience, relishing the chance to see my baby, not consumed with the thought of boy v. girl--simply content to soak up each second we were allowed to watch our baby.  I did hope that the baby would uncross his/her legs long enough to let us know for sure who he/she was, but I wasn't worried about it.  The whole thing was just so much fun!

I can't remember the order that Lori checked things in, but she, as usual, checked and measured the heart and all the chambers, etc...the brain, including various parts of it that I can't remember what she called...the circumference of the abdomen...the arms, legs, mouth, nose, etc.  The only thing she couldn't get a clear view of was the spine, even after I got up for a break to try to get the baby to change positions.  We glimpsed the spine, but the position the baby was in made it impossible to get the right measurements.  At my next appointment, she'll do a limited ultrasound to check that.  Not that she's worried or anything--there's no cause for alarm--but she just wants to make sure it gets checked thoroughly.

I was curious about where my placenta was, since at my eight-week ultrasound it was low.  Sure enough, it had moved up and wasn't causing any problems.

At some point, Lori turned her attention again to the much-anticipated boy/girl question.  I can't remember that she gave a big preamble or build-up to her announcement (although goodness, I was feeling so much anticipation anyway that no extra suspense was required!), but somehow (and this is where things get fuzzy because I think I might have passed out for a short time when she told us)  ;-)  she told us that it's a girl.

Wait, let me try again.

She told us that...

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again, just one more time.  I was totally not expecting it to be a girl.  Why on earth would it be a girl?  As far as I could tell, every factor pointed to boy; and I was fine with that.  More than fine, I was thrilled to welcome a fifth son.  But now suddenly, in her one brief pronouncement, everything changed.  I mean,
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

I could not believe it.  A daughter?  For us?  Was that even possible?!?!  ;-)

What a sweet, joyful time that was!

All too soon, the ultrasound was over, Jeff took the boys back out to the waiting room, and I was taken to another room to wait to be seen by Marty, one of the midwives.  First, I had to be weighed, and apparently, by their records, I've only gained three pounds this pregnancy!  My explanation for that is that really, I've gained more like six or seven; but those first three or four pounds were put on before my first appointment so they don't show up in their records.  But if they want to think I've only gained three pounds, that's fine with me.  ;-)  The appointment with Marty was brief; after the ultrasound, there wasn't much more to check or say!  She congratulated me, asked how I was feeling, checked the uterus and said it was exactly the size it should be, asked if I've been feeling fetal movement, encouraged me to not be doing too much (ha!), and that was about it.  Short and sweet.

Meanwhile, Jeff was in the waiting room; and although he couldn't call anyone there (the office has a no-cell-phone-use policy, which I happen to like) :), he did text his sister so she would know and could tell his mom.  He also texted one of the women who works at the barber shop, and she--quickly--spread the news to the other barbers.  :)

As soon as we got out to the car after the appointment was over, we called my dad (who was staying at our house with Shav) and my mom (at their house).  In both of those instances, Jeff put his cell on speaker phone; and all the boys shouted together, "It's a girl!!!"  I can't tell you yet how they reacted, but you might be able to figure it out from the guessing game above.  :)

Whew, enough talking for now!  How about some pictures?  :)  (For comparison, Shav's ultrasound pictures are here.)

Her beautiful profile...

Sporting the I'm-an-alien look...  :)

Her heart beating strong at 140 beats per minutes (isn't that kind of low for a girl, according to the old wives' tale?)...

Her arms...

Her leg (already she looks like a runner...she'll have to be to keep up with her brothers!)...  :)

Her feet, although it's a little hard to see...one of them is upside down, towards the left of the open area in the center; and the other is sort of crossed diagonally by that one...

Seeing those pictures of her leg and feet reminds me that she was pretty active during the ultrasound.  At one point, Lori held the wand still, so that we could see that all the movement was the baby's.  Josiah asked me if I was feeling all that movement, and I truthfully said no.  At this stage of pregnancy, the baby is still small enough (11 ounces was the estimate) to do a lot of moving without me knowing.  While we were talking about this, before long, we all watched as Baby Girl seemed to squat a little, then give a big push off the side of my uterus with her legs--almost like a swimmer would do as they get to the edge of the pool and turn around to go back the other way.  I laughed and told Josiah that I definitely felt that one!   :)

There is so much more I'd love to say--already, so many thoughts and feeling I have as I contemplate raising a daughter.  But I need to end this lengthy post and get some sleep before the sun comes up and children arise with needs to be met.  Let me just include pictures of one more outfit I happily unpacked last night.  I'm sure my mother must have bought this one somewhere along the way.  What a delicious thought to think that next summer, Lord willing, my girl will be wearing it!!!

My girl.  My daughter.  What a miracle!