The Not-So-Final Countdown

All I wanted to do today was eat.

It was the weirdest thing.  It wasn't as if I truly felt hungry: I just wanted to eat!  So I did.  Too much.

With that said, maybe tonight is a good night to revise and finish up this post that's been hanging around in my drafts folder for months.  Maybe the open confession will help me to have more self-control tomorrow than I did today.  

Live ever in hope.  :)

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Does anybody remember the song "The Final Countdown"?

I can't remember who sang it or what the lyrics are, but I do remember the chorus and the way it felt to ride around in the back of my oldest brother's Honda CRX, with that song turned up loud and the bass drumming through my 10- or 11-year-old body.  I didn't have any idea what the song was about, but I was cool--no doubt about it.

* I just looked up the lyrics, and now I'm even more confused.  "We're leaving together, but still it's farewell.  And maybe we'll come back to earth.  Who can tell?"  What??  "We're heading for Venus, and still we stand tall, 'cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all."  I don't get it.  Oh, well.  Whatever.  :)

So what does that song have to do with anything?  Well, sometimes when I think about losing weight, I hear that song in my head, like a soundtrack to my weight loss journey.  Counting down the pounds.  Or something like that.  :)

Obviously when 2012 started, I weighed a lot more than I do now; and after April 9, I managed to lose some of it rather quickly.  :)  But then, not only did my weight plateau, it actually started slowly creeping back up a little bit.  Yikes!  That was NOT the direction in which I wanted it to go!

I don't remember how much I weighed at the end of my pregnancy with Moriah--something in the 180s, I'm sure (maybe even high 180s?).  But I do know that I started getting serious about losing weight (and as a result, started recording it every day on my calendar) on May 20.  On that day, I weighed 172.4 pounds.

Since then, it has not been a fast descent, but my weight has gone down.

June 1 - 169.8 pounds
July 1 - 168.4 pounds
August 1 - 162.6 pounds
September 1 - 158.2 pounds
October 1 - 159.0 pounds (with vacation in September and Jeff's mom being here for several weeks--and cooking some special, delicious meals for us during that time--I wasn't too surprised that my weight drifted back up)
November 1 - 155.2 pounds
December 1 - 154.0 pounds

This morning it was 154.8 pounds.

To give some perspective, when I got pregnant with Josiah, I weighed 142 pounds; and the highest I got with him was 174.  I see from this old post that I was 140 when I got pregnant with Tobin.  Although I'm not beating myself up about my current weight, I am definitely not satisfied with mid-150s; and my goal (as I mentioned here) is to get down to 139.  So how have I been losing it since May 20?  And how am I going to continue to do it until I hit that goal?

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it comes down to two things.  Eat less.  Exercise more.  No matter what the latest diet plan to come along is, it essentially boils down to fewer calories in the mouth and more calories out through exercise.  Plain and simple.

And hard.  ;-)

I was thinking back to other times when I've successfully lost weight (like after every time I've had a baby) and decided to jot down some thoughts about things that were helpful so that, when I'm feeling stuck at a certain weight (like I very much am right now!), I can read through this list and be reminded and re-inspired! :)

To lose weight:

~ Ask myself, "Why am I wanting to eat or drink something?  Is there anything else I can do that will fulfill this perceived need?"  For example, one rainy afternoon I was cold, so I fixed a cup of coffee (the instant french vanilla pre-sweetened, hardly-tastes-like-coffee kind, which not surprisingly has quite a few calories in it).  What else could I have done to get warm?  A few jumping jacks.  Some sit-ups.  A walk up and down the steps a few times.  Even putting on a sweatshirt.  But instead, I used something involving calories (that I would eventually have to burn off) in order to meet my need.

~ Drink more water to keep my stomach feeling full.

~ Make sure that at supper, I have something healthy that I can pig out on:  a platter of fresh carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes, etc.  It's hard for me to just eat a very small amount of food and then be done.  If there's something that I can keep eating, I'm happier.  :)

~ Plan what I'm going to eat for lunch before I sit down to eat it.  Because I'm in the habit of eating after the boys get settled for afternoon naps/quiet time, I tend to be very random about what I eat; and as a result, I sometimes graze and munch and consume many more calories than I should.

~ Chew gum a lot!  It puts a taste in my mouth when my mouth is feeling bored.  :)

~ Exercise in ways that are actually fun!  I'm not a runner, and the thought of waking up early to go for a run sounds like a mild form of torture.  :)  I don't want to spend the time and money to join a gym.  I have a couple of exercise DVDs, but I'm not captivated by that.  What to do?  Well, during the past six months, I have gotten exercise by:  jumping on the trampoline with the older boys, showing them a sprint we used to use in conditioning exercises during basketball practice (from my high school days), shooting baskets with Josiah, jumping rope, etc.  It's amazing because not only has it helped me lose weight, it's also raised my Awesome Mom status with my sons.  They think it's hilarious to see me do things like jumping rope, and they LOVE to beat me at sprints.  Exercising is, I've discovered, so much more than getting healthy and losing weight; it's also about creating Fun Mommy moments with my boys and making memories with them.  :)

~ Take a day off from tortilla chips.  Seriously, I'm addicted to the tortilla chips from Costco.  It is way too easy for me to grab a handful of those to munch on, and the fact that every evening they're on the table for dinner (because of Jeff's chips and salsa habit) makes it really tough for me to resist. ;-)  Sometimes I have to tell myself that I just can't eat any that day.  (Which is what I'm going to do tomorrow...)  :)

~ Don't let myself mix up another batch of Russian tea mix until I reach a certain weight.  I've admitted before that I LOVE to eat this powder dry which is terribly unhealthy.  If I have it in the cupboard, it's so tempting to grab it and eat some, so during the past few months, I would not let myself mix up a batch until I got down to the next pound.  For example, when I was lingering at 159 (159.8 one morning, 159.4 the next, back to 159.8 again, etc.), I didn't allow myself to make a new batch.  When I broke through to the 158 range, I could.  But then after that one batch, I wouldn't let myself make a new one until I got down into the 157 range...and so on...  Nothing wrong with using a little reward to encourage self-control, right?  :)

~ Don't let certain foods be in the house.  I know that, weak as I am, if there were a bag of peanut M&Ms in the house right now, I'd more than likely be eating them.  If they never come home from the store with me, I don't even have to worry about it.  :)

I don't want to give the impression that I'm obsessing over every bite of food that I put in my mouth.  Believe me, I enjoy what I eat.  :)   But more important to me than indulging every whim of my taste buds is being healthy; and at the weight I am now, I'm not as healthy as I could be.  I'd like that to change during this new year.

A while back, I saw this quote on Facebook: "Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America, and exercise is the most potent yet underutilized antidepressant" (Bill Phillips).  Although I'm not particularly anxious or depressed, I readily admit that food has too big of a place in my life and exercise's role is too small.  I hope to reverse that; and when I do, these last 15 pounds are going to fall victim to...(cue ominous music)...

...The Final Countdown.

:)