Not Exactly Ready

If you happened to see me at Walmart, and you came over to me while I was inwardly debating about whether to get strawberry or peach yogurt, or maybe I was grabbing a bag of carrots in the produce section, and, to be friendly, you asked, "Are you ready for Christmas?", you might hear this:

"Uh...no...not exactly."  ;-)

Truth is, I've been a little unmotivated this year when it comes to Christmas preparations.  Let's see...  I finally finished decorating the house this week.  I haven't sent a single Christmas card (and don't plan to, except for one to my great-aunt Rosa Lee). I haven't made gingerbread houses with the boys or even baked Christmas cookies (except for ones that we've made specifically for some events we've gone to).  I haven't pulled out my piano books to play Christmas carols.  I'm still a little undecided about the menu for our dinner on Christmas day.  You get the idea...

Fortunately, I started gathering gifts for the boys months ago, and I even wrapped quite a few of them early on, so, although I have more I need to do, that task is not overwhelming.  And honestly, I LOVE having a laid-back, stress-free holiday season, so I'm actually glad to not be running around trying to do some of the things that we Americans seem to think we must do at Christmas time.  That's an intentional choice.  But even still, I've surprised myself with how ho-hum I've been this year.

Ho-hum, yes.  But not bah-humbuggy.  Christmas is incredibly meaningful; and my favorite moments so far this Christmas season have occurred in the evenings, when I've sat in the rocking chair in the living room, sometimes with Moriah on my lap, and simply soaked it in: the peace of being at home with the ones I love, the beauty of colorful lights and cherished decorations, the wonder that GOD CAME TO EARTH.  When I stop and reflect on it, it sort of blows my mind.

To analyze all of this further, I think my lack of enthusiasm stems from two things.  First, I feel like normal, daily life is so precious that I don't need a holiday to make me stop to enjoy and say "thank you" for it.  Each day is a gift, and I savor them like the courses of a fine feast spread before me.  I don't need Christmas to make me happy.  I am happy.

Second, I feel like normal, daily life is hard sometimes, and Christmas won't make it easier.  This may sound contradictory to my previous point, but it's really not.  Each day is a gift, but each day also includes messes to clean up, a never-ending to-do list, children's hearts to patiently train, etc.  Guess what?  Christmas will also include messes, a to-do list, and hearts in need of training.  :)  Even though it's a special day, it's not at all a "day off."  :)

So am I ready for Christmas?  Well, no, not exactly.  But I'm not too worried.  I know that when the day comes, I'll have done everything that really needs to be done.  And besides, maybe Mary wasn't exactly ready for that first Christmas either.

Here in our house, Mary isn't ready.  :)  After all, a group of nutcrackers is invading the stable!

And since the nutcrackers and the shepherds and the wise men (not to mention all the animals) are in the stable, there isn't even a spot for Mary and Joseph.  Talk about no room in the inn--these poor characters can't even find room in the stable!!  :)

They have to head out into the open, just to get some space.  But even there, more nutcrackers are closing in and surrounding them.  This is definitely not going according to plan!  :)

If Mary could keep a quiet, joyful, grateful, peaceful, happy heart in the midst of all that she went through, maybe I can, too.

Whether or not I'm officially ready for Christmas.  :)