Baby Blessing: Weeks 11 & 12

I'm overdue to write a pregnancy post, which hopefully has no prophetic link to the future of this pregnancy when this baby chooses to exit the womb and make his (her? but probably his) grand entrance.  I've only been overdue once, but that was enough to convince me of what a test of patience it is to watch a due date come and go with no baby in sight!  Although my due date this time around is April 7, if I could choose a birthday for this child, it would be sometime at the end of March, simply because I wouldn't mind delivering a little early...and more importantly, we don't have any March birthdays in our little family yet.  My second choice would be April 1; it would certainly make my birthday extra special to give birth on that day like two of my friends--Christin and Julie M.--have done (both of them delivered their youngest children on their own birthdays).  And my third choice would be any other day in April.  I'm not picky.  ;-)

For my pictures the past two weeks, I've been assisted by my capable but (very) young photographer sons.  Tobin took this first picture (I was 11 weeks along)...I think the crookedness of the picture has less to do with any desire to be artistic and more to do with the fact that the camera was heavy for him...I'm just glad he didn't drop it...  ;-)

...and David took the second one (when I was 12 weeks).

As I look at these pictures, I realize that it's probably not surprising at all that strangers are starting to recognize that I'm pregnant.  I was surprised, however, the first night that it happened.  It was actually a Friday night, Tobin's Family Night, and we were going to Country Cookin' for dinner.  I was 10 weeks, 6 days along, so I wasn't quite as big as I am in the above pictures; but it happened to be the first day that I wore maternity pants, and I think that was what let my bump hang out and be so obvious.  :)  At any rate, two sets of people stopped me to comment on my pregnancy.  I'm always glad when people comment on it because I love to talk about it; however, I also always think, "Wow, you're sort of brave to be mentioning something at this stage.  What if I weren't pregnant and this was just my regular shape?  Wouldn't you be red-in-the-face then?!?!"  I suppose I think that because I have made that mistake before and remember clearly the blushing, stammering, awkward, foot-in-the-mouth feeling as I tried to recover gracefully (which is impossible) so as not to offend the woman that I just...offended.  It happened in a grocery store in San Diego long ago, but I like to learn from my mistakes and I've never made that one again!  :)  Fortunately for the people who stopped me to ask about my pregnancy, I was delighted to talk about it, and nobody had to be embarrassed.  :)

One thing I enjoy at this stage of pregnancy is pulling out my boxes of maternity clothes and looking through them again, remembering other times I've worn them, and in some cases, remembering where the items of clothing came from.  I've been blessed by maternity clothes from my generous friend Lisa before; and at the beginning of this pregnancy, she again gave me some (including the white sweater I'm wearing in the top photo in this post, and the black shirt I was wearing in my Week 10 post).  It's always fun to get "new" clothes, and I'm so grateful for Lisa's kind gifts.  :)

A week and a day ago, I had an appointment with Melody, one of the midwives; and it went very smoothly.  Weight and blood pressure were fine, although I didn't write them down and I don't remember them now.  The only thing really significant that I do remember from that appointment was hearing the baby's heartbeat; and once again, it was 163.  Although I had no specific reason for concern, I did have a moment or two of anxiety in the days leading up to that appointment; and it is unfailingly reassuring to hear the sweet sound of that precious galloping heartbeat.

Physically I continue to feel fine, although I think the fatigue that usually occurs during early pregnancy is showing up more here at the end of the first trimester.  Some days I just absolutely must take a nap, but fortunately my oldest two (even the oldest three) are fairly self-sufficient, so I can sneak in a little nap on the couch without too much trouble.  The only problem comes when I wake up and think, "Oh, I wish I could sleep for hours and days longer!  Do I really have to get up now?"  :)

Here is one other tiny "problem," although to call it a problem is really overstating it.  Sometimes I am so hungry, but nothing sounds good.  I haven't had any specific pregnancy cravings yet that I can think of, but there have been quite a few times when I can't think of any food that appeals to me.  It's not that I'm having specific aversions to anything (i.e. the smell of chicken makes me sick - nothing like that); it's just a general blah-ness with food sometimes.  In such times, when I know I have to eat, I usually end up reaching for a few pretzels or a couple of Wheat Thins; they're mild enough that I can tolerate them, even if I don't get too excited about them.  :)

As I go through this pregnancy, I often remember how my pregnancy with Shav was; and I've noticed one key difference.  Tobin was so young when I got pregnant with Shav, and I was often overwhelmed by the thought of simultaneously caring for a newborn and an 18-month-old.  Looking back, I can see how much fear there was in that pregnancy--lots and lots of joy and thankfulness, too!--but much more anxiety than I would have liked to have had.  This time, however, I don't feel that overwhelmed.  I'm not naive enough to think that life will somehow be easy with five children, but I feel a sense of peace about it.  I hear a reassuring voice inside me saying, "Yes, life will be tough, but it's OK.  Life is frequently tough right now with only four children!  Face it:  your life will include chaotic mothering moments for quite a few years, but it really will be fine.  Grace is given for each day, and the addition of another baby won't be the thing that makes everything fall apart.  You'll be OK."  I sure hope that voice in my head is right.  ;-)

One last thing for this week...  A number of times recently, I have seen a mother with a newborn or heard about someone giving birth or seen pictures of a tiny baby being held by its mother and thought, "Oh, I wish that were me."  This is my usual train of thought, even during times when I'm not pregnant and not necessarily trying to be either.  I treasure my children so much that I'm almost envious of other women when they are blessed with another one.  Recently though, when that thought pops into my head, it's quickly followed by the realization that it will be me!!  I don't have to ache with longing for that because I'm already pregnant!  I'm already counting down the weeks until we meet this new little one!  It's almost a surprise to me each time I remember this (silly as that may sound); and once again, I'm flooded with wonder that God has chosen me for this gift.  How wonderful!  How marvelous!  How blessed I am!  How grateful I am!  May I remain that way to the end.