Before I say anything else, let me just set one thing straight. Actually, let me simply repeat here what I wrote on Facebook about midnight last night:
Now that we've officially passed my due date, I'm not going to let myself think that Baby Girl is LATE. As a matter of fact, she's right on time. God's timing. And when that time is complete, she will be born. Until then, I rejoice in her kicks, somersaults, hiccups, twirls, etc. inside me. Watching my stomach move will soon come to an end. Feeling her every motion will be over soon. This phase of being so connected to her is drawing to a close. While it lasts, I will appreciate the glory and beauty of it. And I will not chafe because she is "late." End of story. :)
So, there's no need to ask me how late I am--unless you're trying to drive me crazy; but if you ask, I might happen to mention that I'm one day past my due date. ;-) Due dates are just a suggestion though; and if it's acceptable for a woman to deliver two weeks before her due date, it's also fine to deliver two weeks afterwards. Baby Girl is moving well which is very reassuring, and I'm feeling super...so what's the hurry?? :)
Josiah was the photographer for these pictures we took right after getting home from our Easter service this morning. He asked, "Are you going to have a picture taken EVERY day until she's born?" Well, no, my dear; I don't think that's necessary. But it's not often that Jeff and I have our picture taken together, and I'm thrilled to have these photos. :)
One of the things that has helped me to stay content during these days of waiting is finding something to look forward to, even if Baby Girl isn't born. For example, during the past few weeks, I've noticed this particular dress--the one I wore today--hanging in my closet; and I always thought to myself, "IF Easter comes and I haven't given birth, I'll get to wear that dress!" :) It's a special dress to me. I remember wearing it to the wedding of Carlos and Sonia, some friends of ours in San Diego. Their wedding was held six days before my due date with Josiah, and they had asked Jeff to be the minister for their wedding. He agreed, provided they had someone else available as back-up, in case I happened to be giving birth at that moment! :) All went smoothly, however, and I was able to attend the wedding, Jeff officiated it, and five days later, I gave birth to our firstborn. :) I also remember wearing this dress to the beautiful baby shower held for me when I was pregnant with Josiah, as well as other special occasions since then--most recently,
Mother's Day when I was pregnant with Shav. It might be silly, but knowing that I was saving this dress to wear on Easter made it easy to be content with going to church today and still being pregnant! :)
Other silly things: I carried a Vanilla Coke (my guilty pleasure: the one soft drink I really love) up from the cellar today, set it on the kitchen counter, and told myself that if I haven't gone into labor by tomorrow afternoon, I'll drink it during my afternoon energy lull. :) I also told myself that, if labor hasn't started by tomorrow morning, I'll tackle the project of cleaning up the library/guest room and getting it ready for Jeff's mom who will be coming on April 18th and staying in it. It will be a great feeling to see progress in that room, as well as being a fun mental diversion for me as I await the start of labor. Every night before I go to sleep, I very consciously and specifically think about something productive that I can get done the next day; and it's amazing how much that helps me to wake up joyful and excited about the coming day, rather than disappointed that a birth isn't yet on the horizon.
To clarify, however, I'm actually not finding it difficult, for the most part, to be peaceful and content as I await her coming. Jeff remarked yesterday, "You weren't like this the last time!" And it's true: there was much more anxiety and much less peace and contentment before Shav's birth. In fact, unless my memory is faulty, I've never approached a birth this way. For memory's sake, I want to list a few factors that I am sure are contributing to my steadiness this time around.
First, the less-significant ones.
~ It's spring, my favorite season. There is more light, there is warmth, the boys can play outside more. And this year, it's been unseasonably warm and plants have blossomed early, bringing much beauty to the outdoors.
~ We have finished a good portion of our school work for the year, so most days, we do only a little--or none--except for what Josiah and David can do independently. That frees up my time considerably, to say the least, and gives me the opportunity to focus on some nesting projects, which makes me feel more ready to give birth.
~ Our extracurricular activities have slowed down or stopped as well. Swimming lessons are over, SVCC (the regular year) is over (except for the Boychoir which will be starting up, but that's much less time and commitment for me), and the only thing still ongoing is violin. But even with violin, this past week was spring break, so I used the time as a wonderful week of preparation. As my stress level goes down, my peace and joy go up.
But now, the factors which are much more significant:
~ My times with God first thing in the morning, although they're not happening every single day now, have rooted and grounded me in the truth of His word and the refreshment of His presence. I do not think it is a coincidence that, here during this year when I've chosen ARISE as my focus, my pre-birth experience has been so wonderful. That wasn't my motive for choosing ARISE, but I welcome it as a precious side effect. ;-)
~ Reading and meditating on the book
Supernatural Childbirth has also helped me to draw strength from God's promises regarding the blessing of children and childbirth. Whenever I mention that book, I feel as if I should give a disclaimer, because I know it's a little controversial, and I'd love to explain my thoughts about it. Really, I'd like to write a whole post about the book, but I haven't gotten around to it yet! Regardless of all of that, I have benefited greatly from the examples of faith shown in that book.
~ Being part of the church fellowship where we've landed for the past few months has been incredibly helpful in preparing me for this birth. One of the strengths of this particular congregation is that it is a place where people believe that God still works powerfully, miracles can still happen, and God still desires to pour out His favor on His children. There have been several sermons in particular that have imparted life-giving, faith-building words into my soul, as well as conversations with people there and even song lyrics that have added significantly to my portion of peace and contentment.
To sum up, I feel as if I've been soaking in a luxurious spiritual bath; and the longer I soak, the more the crusty old worries of the world fall away, and the fresh, child-like faith from above is multiplied within me.
It is not me who is going into this birth (and this "overdue" status!) with such tranquility.
It is Jesus at work within me, and I give Him thanks and honor and glory for it!
