Mother & Child

This past winter, my dad tackled a huge project: scanning old photos and slides and organizing them as computer files for distribution to various members of the family.  Recently he handed me a disc with pictures from my childhood - wow.  What a treasure!  I had so much fun looking through the pictures, and I hope to post more of them in the future.  Of course, just looking at the pictures makes me want to write all about them: the events depicted therein, my feelings on that particular occasion, etc.  I'm reminded again that there's nothing quite like a picture to capture a moment.  

Like this moment...

 ...my mother holding me as a newborn.

As I await the imminent birth of my own dear daughter, I am savoring these pictures, celebrating the cycle of life, and giving thanks for the love that has surrounded me from birth--the same love I am so eager to pour out on my daughter!

Baby Blessing: Week 39

Me, earlier today:  "Hey, Josiah, I need some pictures for my week 39 post.  Would you like to take them?"

Him:  "Yeah!  But you're not 39 weeks."

Me:  "Yes, I am."

Him:  "No, you're not."

Me, in my head:  "Hmmm...I know my brain isn't as sharp as it used to be, but I'm pretty sure I'm not 40 weeks yet, and I'm also pretty sure I'm past 38.  What is he talking about?"

Me, finally beginning to understand:  "Oh!  OK, you're right, I'm not 39 weeks exactly.  I'm actually 39 weeks and 5 days.  But I haven't written my 39 weeks post yet, and I'm allowed to do it any time during my 39th week.  So, will you take my picture?"

Him:  "Sure!"

This is life with my nine-year-old, mathematically-minded, perfectionistic, wonderful firstborn, who cheerfully took my pictures and had fun experimenting with holding the camera at different angles, as you'll see!  :)

I suppose I should write next about my appointment yesterday with the midwife.  Once again, I had the pleasure of seeing Ann; and she told me she'd been thinking about me last weekend when she was on call.  She's not on call again until Easter, but there's still a very good chance we might make it that long and she might get to deliver this girl. :)  Let's see...here are the important stats from my appointment.  My blood pressure was great - 120 over 70.  My weight was 188 pounds, which I'm sure is the most I've ever weighed in my whole life, but nobody there fusses at me about it.  Baby's heart rate was 128.  Her position is head-down.  I'm dilated 3 centimeters and about 60% effaced.  All of that means two things:  everything is going fine, and we still have no idea when she will be born.  ;-)  The latest I've ever gone is two days after my due date, but Ann went ahead and got me set up for an appointment next Friday for an ultrasound and a non-stress test (that would be a first for me, since unlike my friend Sally, I've never had one with any of my pregnancies)...just in case I go that long.  If I do, they'll do those tests to make sure Little Miss is doing fine in her watery world!  I don't think anyone really expects that I'll go another eight days without delivering, but God only knows.  :)

As I've been reflecting back over this whole pregnancy, I've been thinking about some of my favorites this time around.  For example, my favorite spot to relax has been sitting in the rocking chair in the living room, looking out the window, watching the world go by; and the times when Shav has snuggled with me while I did this are the best of all.  :)  My favorite nap spot is definitely the couch; more than ever before, I love our "new" couches!  :)

My favorite foods during this pregnancy are easy to identify.  It used to be chocolate raisins; but even though I still enjoy them, I do not crave them like I did back in December and January.  I still have part of a container remaining in the snack closet, and most days I don't even dip my hand into it once.  But here are the foods that, for the last while, I have craved intensely and have eaten liberally:  tortilla chips from Costco (like I mentioned in my weeks 33 & 34 update) and dry Russian tea mix (which I eat by the spoonful).  Those are my two favorites-by-far; and if I could, I would try to survive off just them.  But because that hardly seems wise, I also include a few more items, such as these items that are a little lower on my list of favorites: milk, string cheese, and smoothies.  A well-balanced diet, right?  ;-)  As I was analyzing myself earlier today, I realized that with the Russian tea mix and the tortilla chips, a big part of the pleasure of eating them comes, not just from the taste (although I love the taste of both items), but from the feel of it.  The chips are crunchy; the tea mix is gritty (and I like gritty, so that's not a problem!); and my mouth appreciates those sensations.  I even--and you can start laughing at me now, if you're not already--thought about how I hear a particular sound when I'm eating those foods; and that noise is part of the pleasure of it.  The crunch of the chips, the friction of the tea mix.  I just really, really like it.  ;-)

OK, you had your turn; now stop laughing at me.  :)

I was trying to decide on a favorite clothing item, but that's a little difficult because pregnancy spans such a long period of time and the body changes so much that what looks and feels good at a certain stage does not necessarily work for the whole nine months.  Overall, I'm just really grateful that I have a wide variety of sizes, even in maternity clothes.  I have some pants, for example, that were laughably big when I tried them on much earlier in this pregnancy; but guess what?  Now they're perfect for me.  Some shirts that hung so loosely they resembled a tent early on, now are exactly what I need to keep my enormous belly (44 inches!) covered.  So I'm thankful to have enough things in different sizes that I haven't had to fret too much about clothing as my body changed.  With that said, I will mention that the below-the-belly pants that my generous friend Lisa gave me have been particularly appreciated this time around.  :)

While I'm waiting, I've been keeping busy, with periods of high energy and motivation alternating with sluggish, let-me-just-take-a-nap times.  When I'm feeling exhausted, I make every effort to find time to rest; but when I'm feeling energetic, I run with it!

I've had a lot of fun making freezer meals, and even asking my mother to come up and help me with them (which she LOVES to do).  In my week 38 post, I recorded that I had made Curried Lentils, two dishes of Wild Chicken, and Lentil Stew.  Since then, I've also made and frozen Lasagna, Sausage & Bean Soup, Ground Beef Grand Style, Italian Sausage & Veggie Pasta (minus the pasta, which will be easy to cook and add to the rest of the ingredients when we're ready to eat it), and Breakfast Casserole (which will likely be eaten during a breakfast-for-supper night!).  It is a GOOD feeling to have those meals prepared already, and most of them are big enough portions that there will surely be some left-overs (and I LOVE left-overs).  ;-)

Besides the cooking, I've been staying busy with things like paying bills and keeping up with paperwork so it doesn't accumulate terribly during the initial postpartum adjustment, organizing our music CDs, sorting through and putting away in the baby's room another wonderful batch of clothes from Lisa, cleaning the upstairs of the house (cleaning the main floor is on my agenda for tomorrow), dropping things off at the thrift store, trying to keep up with laundry, washing the infant carseat and getting that ready for a new occupant, etc.  Simple tasks, but ones that have been made extra-special by thoughts of the little one whose arrival we're so breathlessly (sometimes literally!) awaiting.  :)

Every day, I wonder, "Will this be her birthday?"  And every day, I think, "This date would be a good day for a birthday."  April 3rd would have been a good day...so would April 4th...so would April 5th, but now it's nearly gone.  Tomorrow I'm sure I'll think, "April 6th would be a nice birthday."  And every day until she's born, I'll have that thought at some point during each day.  :)

There are several events that are coming up that would be particularly nice days in which to give birth.  First of all, Passover begins tomorrow evening, so if she's born anytime after sundown tomorrow or if she waits until Saturday, she would have the honor of being a Passover baby.  And of course, with Easter being on Sunday, that would be a very special day on which to give birth, too.  My brother David and his family from Pennsylvania are coming for the day on Saturday for a quick (pre-)Easter trip.  Wouldn't it be lovely if they were here when she was born?

In all reality, any day and any time would be the perfect time for her birth.  She is welcome to come now and equally as welcome to stay inside for a while longer.  I am astonished at the peace and contentment that have been washing over me in these last days.  Astonished, and so very, very grateful.

Bottom line?  She's coming soon.  And oh, what a day (night?) of rejoicing that will be!!!  :)

What I Miss the Most

Of all the things I miss the most about not being pregnant...

...and, let me be honest, as much as I enjoy being pregnant and as grateful as I am for the blessing of another child, there are things I miss about my non-pregnant self.  For example...

* my lap (my boys are snugglers which I love, but it's awfully difficult to tolerate them sitting on my lap for any length of time now),

* my regular amount of energy (fortunately these days, the nesting urge has kicked in and supplied me with extra energy; but when it's gone, it's gone--quickly and without warning...sometimes I look around me and think, "I really would like to be doing _____ (fill in the blank), but I just absolutely can't"...and then I sit back down in the rocking chair or lay on the couch)

* normal sleep (not interrupted by countless trips to the bathroom or laborious attempts at such strenuous activities as rolling over!...of course, my sleep will get worse before it gets better, although I'm praying this little girl will not follow in her big brother Shav's footsteps, but will be a great sleeper like the oldest three boys were)

* non-maternity clothes (it's a joy to pull out maternity clothes when they're needed, but also a joy to put them away after a baby is born...to everything there is a season, and right now I'm eagerly anticipating the season of being able to wear my regular clothes again)

* my weight (I think I'm the heaviest I've ever been...I'm not really upset about that, and I don't feel too self-conscious--most of the time...although when one of my boys asked me a few days ago, "When you're not pregnant, are you totally overweight?" I did feel a little funny about that  ;-)...anyway, suffice it to say that I'm looking forward to the numbers on the scale going downward instead of the constant uphill climb I've seen for the last nine months

* my shape (maybe one of these days soon, I won't be startled by the sight of my huge belly every time I see my shadow!)

* normal appetite (there have been a few foods that I've craved during this pregnancy, but more that I've not wanted to eat...it would be nice to actually desire regular food again)

* my lung capacity (I get out of breath so easily...for example, when I walk up the steps to get the phone, by the time I get to it and answer it, I must sound as if I've just been running a 5K because of how much I'm panting!)

* and there are likely more.

However, of all the things I miss the most about my life as a non-pregnant woman, the thing I miss the most is my brain.

Several days ago, I opened the refrigerator and found a jar of dry Russian tea mix on the top shelf, right in front of the pitcher of milk.  That was strange; it doesn't belong there!  Jeff was standing nearby, so I said--partly to him, and partly to myself--"Did I put this in here?"  But I already knew the answer; of course, it was me.  Why I did it, I have no idea; but that it was me, there was no doubt.  I laughed at myself and then remarked casually to Jeff, "I read again recently that when women are pregnant, their brain actually shrinks."  And he said (maybe a tad bit too emphatically), "I know that."  Oh.  Well then. ;-)   He went on to tell me about how he was talking with one of his co-workers who happens to be pregnant, and they were discussing the silly, absent-minded things she's been doing around work recently, etc.  All I can say is, she's not the only one!

I had previously mentioned (first, in a Facebook status update, but later, here on the blog) about how I almost walked out the door to Josiah and David's swimming lesson one Saturday morning wearing my bedroom slippers.  I did not mention, however, that the very next week, I did walk out the door to that lesson, wearing no make-up.  I'm not a huge make-up person by any stretch of the imagination, but I always (ALWAYS!) wear a little when going somewhere.  In fact, before that particular morning, I can't even remember the last time I left the house completely bare-faced, without a speck of make-up.  But that morning, I did; and I didn't even realize it until much later.  Oh, and that happened to be a morning in which I had several errands to do after their swimming lesson, including a trip to Walmart.  You can imagine how fervently I was hoping to NOT see anyone I knew!  As it turned out, I did indeed see a few people I recognized, but no one I am particularly close to, so I could get away with a wave and a smile, as I hurriedly walked on.  :)

Another area in which I've noticed my lack of brain-power is here on this blog.  My dad is good at reading my posts and letting me know if there are any typographical or grammar errors, and I appreciate him doing that because those kinds of mistakes drive me nuts and I'd much rather have the problem pointed out so I can fix it.  It used to be that he only occasionally found a mistake, but here recently, it's been a much more common problem.  Apparently with my pregnant shrunken-brain condition, I do a poor job with proofreading!

There have been many times when, for the life of me, I cannot think of some fact I should know:  the name of someone whose face is swimming before me, the correct word for some thought I want to express, etc.  It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't get it out.  Or I'll lose my train of thought entirely, in the middle of a conversation.  Honestly, it's not as if that only happens when I'm pregnant, but it certainly occurs more often these days.

Here's one more example to show how much brain function I've lost.  A little while back, I had cooked a roast and vegetables in our crockpot; and later I gave the leftover broth and scraps to our dog Molly.  Knowing that she couldn't destroy the crockpot with her teeth or paws, I simply opened the gate to the pasture and set the pot inside so she could eat it at her leisure and even lick it clean if she wanted.  Do you think I ever remembered to go back and get that pot?  Not at all!  In fact, one day in conversation with my dad, the subject of crockpots came up and it dawned on me that I had left ours in the pasture (and by the way, I'm talking about the ceramic insert, not the outside part that contains the heating unit and electrical cord, etc.).  I couldn't go get it at that particular moment; but by the time I could have walked up and retrieved it, I had completely forgotten about it again.  Do you know who finally brought it in?  Jeff, who discovered it up there a day or two ago and kindly carried the long-forgotten pot home.

I'm sure there are other stories I could tell about my forgetful, scatter-brained ways during this pregnancy, but guess what?  I can't remember them!  ;-)

I do hope, however, that after this sweet girl is born, my brain will eventually return to its normal size and level of functioning again.  Because when it malfunctions and has a power failure, I really do miss it.  ;-)

Wordless Wednesday {Until Baby Comes, Bear Gets to Swing}

They Bring Me Flowers

Early on in my relationship with Jeff, the song "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" by Neil Diamond was meaningful to us.  I'm not exactly sure why, because the fact is that Jeff did bring me flowers.  Often.  When we were students in Israel, he brought me wildflowers, plucked from the springtime hills of Galilee.  As newlyweds living in gorgeous southern California, he bought flowers for me from a street vendor on Orange Avenue in beautiful Coronado.  And when we returned to live in Israel, this time with a son, he would walk through the park near our house and purchase lovely blooms from the flower market that was regularly set up there.  Maybe the special part of hearing "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" was in thinking, "I am so glad Jeff isn't like THAT guy!"  ;-)

These days, Jeff isn't the only man who brings me flowers.  As a matter of fact, he has quite a bit of competition in that department.  For example, Josiah walks outside our house, finds huge patches of this flower (some might call it a weed) in our yard...

...and brings me a tiny bouquet to put in the little glass vase we always use for such things.

Tobin regularly plucks dandelions (they're his favorite color!) and gives them to me; and for a day, they get the spot of honor in the vase before drooping their heads and being thrown into the compost pile.

These weeds--which I dignify by referring to as wildflowers--cost nothing.  But the love they express?  It's priceless.  :)

The Cellar: Not Just for Storing Food

Besides storing food, our cellar is a wonderful place to...well, see for yourself, and then you'll know the answer.  ;-)

 PLAY

 IN

 THE

DIRT!

Just ask Shav.  He's an old pro at driving his trucks and tractors around on (in?) this gravel floor; and as you can see from his expression, he takes his job very seriously. 

 Little boys and dirt go together perfectly.  :)

Quietly Turning 36

With my birthday arriving in such close proximity to my due date, keeping the possibility in mind that our girl might actually be born today, thus cancelling any plans we might have been counting on, we had, quite a while ago, made the logical and easy decision to not make a big deal out of this birthday.  As it turned out, this might qualify as the most low-key birthday I've ever had.

That's not to say that there weren't special little things scattered through it.  Here are some that I want to remember and treasure:

~ friendly, helpful conversations with Cindy, Sue, and Carla after our church service this morning

~ delicious lunch with my family (the eight of us) at Golden Corral

~ my dad choking up as he prayed before we ate and he thanked God for me and for my daughter (it was perhaps the first time my boys had ever seen their grandpa get emotional like that; they're used to it from their grandma, but not from him!)

~ a beautiful, meaningful card from my parents

~ the recital Josiah, David, and I attended this afternoon, featuring some of the music teachers that they've studied with

~ time spent outdoors in the peaceful spring evening, pushing Shav on the swing and chatting with Wilma, my next door neighbor, who came over with her children

~ a sweet and funny birthday card from those neighbors

~ a tulip-shaped chocolate from Jeff and the boys

~ cards from Jeff and the boys that made me cry

~ the knowledge that a laptop is on the way for me (so that I can put it in my bedroom and use it during the night when I nurse the baby...and hopefully, use some of those awake times to start working on another blog book using Blurb)

~ very kind birthday messages from friends on Facebook

~ and a baby that is still wiggling around inside me!

It appears that a lot of people were hoping she would be born today, but the fact that she wasn't reminds me that God has a perfect day chosen for her, and He's already written an incredibly special birth story just for her.  With that in mind, I'm ready to start a new week, a new month, and a new year of life.  I give thanks for the 36 years I've been given so far!