What I'm Pondering Tonight {Vaccines}

In a few short hours, I'll wake up and take my precious little daughter to the health department to be immunized.

Her first shots ever.

Tonight I'm second-guessing myself.

I realize that most of you reading this are probably, at this very moment, shaking your heads and saying "tsk, tsk" as you wonder how I could be so negligent as to not only put the health of my own dear Moriah in danger but also threaten the whole basis of Western civilization because I haven't immunized my child!

I also realize that some of you are probably wanting to shout at me, "No, Davene, don't do it!  Don't give in to the establishment!  Don't get her vaccinated!  You don't know what's in those shots!"

This is clearly a lose-lose case in the court of public opinion.

Not because I feel the need to defend myself to anyone who happens to be reading this, but because I'd like to have a record of my thoughts, let me write a few words about why we haven't had Moriah immunized yet...and why we are now.

When Josiah was born, we lived in California; and, not being aware of any reason to do otherwise, we followed the established timeline for immunizations for him.  As a result, he got A LOT of shots very early in his life.  After moving to Israel, we continued to get his shots very regularly...until it became apparent that his large-motor skill development was significantly behind the average for children his age.  Since we were evaluating EVERYTHING that could possibly be contributing to that, we looked at the possibility of a link between vaccinations and delayed development, including autism; and after doing quite a bit of research about it, we concluded that we would press the "pause" button on his shots until we figured out what was going on.  Eventually, he was diagnosed with the simple condition of hypotonia--low muscle tone--a condition that we were assured he would outgrow.  And so he did.

However, because of that, we decided that with our other children, we would have them vaccinated; but we would not follow the standard timing--instead, delaying the shots until quite a bit later than the normal ages at which they're given, and also separating the shots so that not so many strange ingredients were being injected into our children's bodies at the same time.  (I remember four shots being given at one appointment to Josiah back before we changed how we did things, but I've heard that more than four are routinely given in one appointment now.)

Because of my dad's (and uncle's and granddad's) experience in the medical field, and because of their long memories that stretch back to the days of epidemics, such as polio, and because of my own reading in the field of medical history, I have a great deal of respect and gratitude for those who developed vaccines and made them readily available to the masses.  I tremble when I think of what it must have been like to live in the days when an epidemic could sweep through a city and somewhat randomly knock out children left and right, either killing or severely injuring them.  How terribly helpless those mothers must have felt as they watched their children be stricken.  I have no desire to return to that day and age.

On the other hand, I have a degree of skepticism about certain parts of the modern medical field and the relationship between drug companies and health professionals.  I don't know enough to write more about that, except to say that motives can be a tricky thing to discern...and drug companies probably aren't telling the public all that they know.

With those two things in mind--my gratitude and my skepticism--I've chosen, with Jeff's approval, of course, to walk a middle road concerning my own children and their immunizations.

With Moriah, we had planned all along for her to eventually get some shots; but essentially it was a matter of procrastination for me, and months went by without me doing anything about it.  Jeff was beginning to worry about her health because we had NOT gotten her vaccinated.  But honestly I was still worried about what would happen to her health if we DID get her vaccinated.  He and I are always so unified, can't you tell?!  ;-)

Tonight I'm thinking about how I desperately want to do what is best for Moriah--not just in the area of immunizations, of course, but in so many deeper, more important areas.  I ache to do the right thing, the thing that will help her most, but sometimes it is such a challenge to know what that is!  I look at her sweet little face, so trusting...whether she's waiting for her grandma to feed her a bite of food and trusting that it will be good...

...or being carried by me into the unfamiliar environment of the health department and trusting that I'll take care of her.  To be so trusted is a weighty thing.

I hope I don't mess this one up.