Almost Slipped My Mind

I almost forgot to record the things I wrote on Facebook during the month of October.  For this Information Packrat, it would be tragic to lose those snippets of daily life!  ;-)

Oct. 4 - "Mom's grumpy when she's not feeling well," David told Jeff last night at the dinner table. Which is one of the most true...and sad...and convicting things I've heard recently.   :(

Oct. 5 - "I have learned to kiss the wave that slams me into the Rock of Ages." - Charles Spurgeon - In all honesty, I don't think I can say "I have learned..." But I can truthfully say, "I want to learn..."

Oct. 6 - Care to guess what the anguish of this morning centered around in my household? I'll tell you. It was the thought that Moriah will likely marry someone someday and go off and live somewhere else. To Tobin's mind, that was DREADFUL. He was even worried that her future husband might take her to...gasp...Antarctica! He has decided that he wants to live close by--he even has the piece of land picked out that he wants to build his house on--and he apparently thinks that all of his siblings should stay nearby, too. He was aghast at the thought that Moriah might not do that, all because of some guy, and he told me we should "keep her."  Well, I wasn't planning on getting rid of her anytime soon.  One of the joys of my life is seeing the love that flows between my children. Sometimes that love feels a little prickly, and it rubs like sandpaper...but sometimes it's smooth and deep and altogether beautiful. I cherish those moments. 

Oct. 9 - It wasn't as if I absolutely HAD to have a fire in the woodstove tonight, but the first fire of the season is so much fun - so cozy, so homey. Why wait any longer?  I wasn't the only one who enjoyed it: Josiah, as soon as he came up the steps from the library, exclaimed, "You built a fire?" and then went to stand beside it. I once considered the woodstove in our living room to be an eyesore, but I've since repented of that nonsense and have thanked God numerous times for the wonderful wood heat we have! 

Oct. 11 - Moments that filled my heart with deep joy today:
~ watching Josiah "chase" Moriah back and forth between my room and hers this morning, and hearing her squeal with laughter as he followed her,
~ walking with Moriah around the track at Oakdale Park this afternoon, while watching Josiah and David run around it and Tobin and Shav play on the playground, the little tassel on the hood of Moriah's purple sweater keeping time to the rhythm of her sweet little baby steps,
~ running hand in hand with Shav around the track, then pausing for walking breaks when he said we should, knowing that the thought of doing a full lap was too intimidating for him, but that if I was with him, he could do it,
~ watching Josiah and David caring for Moriah while I was with Shav--Moriah was having fun going up and down a ramp at the park, and her big brothers trailed along behind her like ducks in a row.
I feel immeasurably blessed to get to spend my days with these dear ones that I love so much!


Oct. 12 - The good news: Moriah has learned how to drink out of a straw. The bad news: every time I make a smoothie (which I always drink with a straw), she gestures and grunts until I let her have some...and then she usually ends up drinking most of it! I might need a bigger blender. 

Oct. 14 - For history this year, we are studying the second half of American history, which just happens to be my favorite place and period of history to study. Since we're beginning to talk about the Civil War, tonight as I was doing the supper dishes, I pulled out my CD of the soundtrack to Ken Burns' documentary about the Civil War and enjoyed the music from that time period. And then I got to the Sullivan Ballou letter. Do you think I could get through this without crying? Not a chance. It wasn't even an isn't-this-sad?-now-I-have-a-lump-in-my-throat kind of crying; it was a real-tears-rolling-down-my-cheeks-and-I'm-so-glad-no-one-else-is-around-to-see-me kind of crying. Listening to this reminded me of the book I'm reading aloud to the boys, Across Five Aprils. I've known all along that there was no way I'd be able to make it through that book without crying. After tonight's experience, I'm wondering just how many times I'll cry as I read it, how many (affectionate!) eye rolls my boys will give me, and whether or not I'll be able to finish it or will have to hand it over to Josiah to read it!!

Oct. 15 - There's one less bear roaming our area this morning. Jeff called me from work a little bit ago to let me know that one of his friends shot one--with a bow and arrow, no less! I don't know about you, but if I were going up against a bear, I'd rather have something a little, shall we say, stronger than a bow and arrow! ;-)--and we can have the meat from it. So, I'd better learn how to cook bear!  While Jeff was on the phone with me, he commented on how noisy it was here, and with good reason: Moriah was crying because I had gotten up from where I was sitting with her and she was apparently feeling lonely and abandoned , David was playing Gossec Gavotte on violin, and the other three were running around chasing each other with old sheets and acting like retiarii. Just a normal (noisy!) day in the Fisher household! Jeff has to go to the barber shop to get a little peace and quiet. 

Oct. 15 - Math according to Shav: he popped out of bed and came to the top of the steps just now and announced, "I want three more kisses--one on the forehead, one on the nose, and one on each cheek." Well, dear boy, I will gladly give you the kisses, but just so you know, that makes FOUR. 

Oct. 15 - This is the kind of thing I LOVE! It makes me want to check off how many of these I've read, then grab one I haven't read and start reading. RIGHT NOW. And ignore the dishes that are calling my name in the kitchen. But I'm going to be a good girl and ignore this chart. For now. ;-)

Oct. 19 - Feeling sentimental tonight after attending my 20th year high school reunion today. 

Dug around in an old photo album. Found this picture of the little Fisher family in April of 2003 when Josiah was 10 months old and we were living in Israel. Oh, the memories! I've had such a blessed life... 

Oct. 21 - "When we clean and order our homes, we are somehow also cleaning and ordering ourselves...How we hold the simplest of our tasks speaks loudly about how we hold life itself." ~ Gunilla Norris

Oct. 24 - Many years ago, I bought a book primarily because of the last name of the author: Second Wind by Margaret Anne Huffman. Like too many books I've bought over the years, this one sat on my shelf, unread...until a couple of nights ago when I, wanting something not too heavy, not too light, to read for a few minutes before falling asleep, plucked it off the shelf. In the first chapter, part of the prayer at the end stood out to me and lingers in my thoughts today: "Help me see, Lord, that interruptions are sometimes disguised invitations--invitations into the lives of those we love." Oh yes. If I could mentally replace the word "interruption" with the word "invitation," how much more patience and joy I could bestow on those doing the interrupting...I mean, inviting!! 

Oct. 24 - Today is a very special day: my mother (in this picture, she's holding me when I was just born) turns 72! At the moment, she's carrying wood from our woodpile into our woodshed - she has such a servant's heart. Later tonight, we'll celebrate by eating angel food cake...and since I'm feeling especially decadent, we'll drizzle homemade peach jam over it.  I'm so grateful that God chose her to be my mother!

Oct. 28 - "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove. I would fly away and be at rest." - Psalm 55:6

Oct. 29 - Several years ago, I heard John G. Elliott perform at a conference we attended, and his music stirred my heart--especially my favorite piece of his, "Yet I Will Rejoice." Since then, I have received email devotionals every so often from him, and the one I read this evening was especially good. He was writing about our reluctance to consider ourselves wicked; instead we apply that term only to other people who do REALLY bad things. And then he wrote what convicted my heart: "Oh, if only we would call ourselves 'wicked' when we DO wicked things!! How much easier it would be to humble ourselves if we would simply call things by the same name that God calls them!! Humility would produce a broken heart over our sin and repentance would sweep us into the healing river of God’s presence and our hearts would be revived and refreshed." I need to grow so much in this area--to stop sweeping my own sin under the carpet, but instead to admit it, repent from it, and receive the refreshing growth that comes as a result.

Oct. 29 - Yesterday was a heavy-hearted day for me. Hearing of the death of Sam Whetzel, a local 12-year-old boy with leukemia who seemed to have rallied our entire town to stand with him and his family as he courageously fought his battle with cancer, was enough to cast a gloom over everything. It's silly, isn't it, that the sadness I was feeling for his family suddenly made my laundry pile feel insurmountable, my dirty dishes on the kitchen counter seemed to be stacked to the ceiling and would never get washed, a hole I found in Moriah's purple pants let me know that everything was falling down around my ears, and the fact that we didn't get to history yesterday meant I was a terrible homeschooling mom and was most likely ruining my kids. I knew it was grief that was leading to all my ridiculous overreactions, but simply knowing that didn't turn off my fountain of emotions. It was the kind of day that just needs to be gotten through, with much grace dispensed generously along the way. 

Last night I wanted to write down a count-my-blessings list, but it felt like it would take entirely too much effort to do so.
Tonight I'm ready.
I'm grateful for...
~ the elderly man yesterday in Finders Keepers (a local discount store) who watched the procession my children and I made through the aisle in front of him and then remarked to me, "How lucky you are! To have four sons and a daughter!"
~ another man in that store who overheard my discussion with the boys about the bag of candy corn we needed to buy and then kindly interrupted us to point us to a different area of the store where we could buy a bigger bag for a better price.
~ the evening we had here at home together tonight: a simple but delicious supper around the kitchen table, my parents sitting in rocking chairs in the living room and watching their grandchildren play, Moriah's happy mood and ability to be completely content just walking around and playing with this and that (she's been a little sick recently and has been extra-clingy, but tonight she was so pleasant), Josiah helping Jeff study for a test, David playing with LEGOs, Tobin making a design with perler beads, Shav still sitting at the table finishing his soup, me mixing up a batch of hot chocolate mix (how far into the winter will that batch last us?). After a while, my parents went home, Jeff and all the boys drifted toward the LEGOS and built all sorts of things, Moriah climbed the steps by herself and indicated that she was ready for bed, I sat down in the living room after I tucked her in bed and read aloud to the family from Across Five Aprils.
There is such comfort from being at home, surrounded by those I love; it was exactly what my soul needed. Thank You, Lord, for these blessings.

Oct. 31 - The camera of my heart was busy snapping photographs this afternoon as we enjoyed the simple pleasure of being outside on a gorgeous fall afternoon. Some of our Old Order neighbors came over, and my attention was particularly caught by their little boy Jason who is one month older than Shav. He stayed close to me for a little while, helping me put leaves into a bag for next year's garden mulch; but he got distracted by Moriah and wandered away, following her. He got down on his knees in the leaves, and she went right up to him and gave him one of her kisses--not a real kiss since she doesn't know how to do that yet, but a let-me-put-my-face-really-close-to-you-and-sniff-a-little-bit kind of Moriah kiss. It was precious and sweet in the pure innocence of childhood (NOT in any sense of a "ooo, who's your little boyfriend?" because I honestly don't like that at all), and my heart's camera went "click." Moriah can be pretty clingy to me sometimes, but to see her affection for Jason and his tenderness towards her made me smile. A while later, after the neighbors had gone, we were continuing to work at bagging leaves when suddenly, the wind started gusting very strongly, causing a fresh rain of leaves to fall from the trees and fly through the air. Josiah, David, and Tobin were DELIGHTED; and they raced to catch the leaves as they came towards the earth--a harder task than you might imagine. After each gust, they shouted, "Do it again, God! Do it again!" And He did, gust after gust, to the great joy of my boys. I, on the other hand, was wondering if we needed to take cover and whether the loud, creaking sounds I was hearing were the corners of my neighbor's barn roof beginning to blow off. My sons had no such concerns and were simply enjoying the feel of the wind, the sight of the leaves, and the joy of being alive on such a fine, warm day in the autumn. My heart went "click" as I watched my boys cavort across the yard with arms outstretched to catch the racing leaves, and I breathed a prayer of gratitude for these good gifts.

Oct. 31 - The end of October has come and, with it, the end of David's first official joke-a-day month. He's eager to do more, so we'll see how that unfolds... :) Meanwhile, THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who clicked over, watched his videos, (hopefully) smiled at his jokes, maybe left a comment, etc. It meant SO MUCH to him to receive affirmation from you. (Not to mention how much it warmed my heart to see my boy so happy...) We are very grateful!! :)