Saturday, May 14, 2011

7 Things an Accompanist Should Never Say...

...3 days before the concert.  :)

During rehearsal on Thursday afternoon for the upcoming Suzuki concert I'm accompanying on Sunday, I had a few moments of downtime; and while my hands were idle, my head was busy, randomly thinking of things I could say to pull the leg of the director and make her think I wasn't prepared.  I'm not much of a prankster, so I don't know why my thoughts spun off in this direction--it's not like me at all!  If I was much of a prankster, I would have said one of these things to Sharon M. to see her reaction.  Fortunately for her, I behaved myself and am only mentioning these things here.  This will probably be only slightly amusing if you happen to be a musician, and not at all amusing if you're not--a musical inside joke, so to speak--but it made me smile during rehearsal.  :)

The 7 Things the Director Does NOT Want to Hear from My Lips

1. (said with a quizzical look) - Remind me again:  does the thing that looks like a number sign mean to play the note to the right or the left?

2. (shocked) - The Bach Double?  THE BACH DOUBLE?!  You didn't tell me we were playing that one!

3. (with jubilation) - So THAT'S a repeat sign!  I've always wondered what those two dots mean!

4. (with a blank expression) - Seitz?  Who's Seitz?  I've never heard of him before.

5. (sorrowfully) - My great aunt Bertha died suddenly, and we'll be out of town on Sunday.  I sure hope you can find someone else to accompany the concert.

6. (puzzled) - But I thought "f" in the music meant "fast."

7. (with huge tears, quivering voice, wringing hands) - I'm sorry, Sharon, but I just can't handle the pressure.  I. JUST. CAN'T. HANDLE. IT.

;-)

8 comments:

Homeschool on the Croft said...

Sadly, there are some of these I don't fully understand (cos I'm not musical :( ), but even then, they are really funny. Hope all goes well...

Emily Sacra said...

Haha!!! My favorites were 2, 5, and 7 :)

Emily

Anonymous said...

I hope all goes well! I love your list.

Sally said...

Oh Davene, you are such and excellent pianist, there is no way anybody would believe any of those for a moment. They would just laugh until their sides hurt. Anyway, I'm glad you're doing this and I'm guessing are enjoying it.

Leah said...

The wonderful Sharon was my teacher for 9 years, and I can only imagine her face if you were to say one of these lines! :)

Amanda said...

how about 'I thought a tempo meant I could just pick any tempo I wanted!' or, 'I'm sorry I wasn't really paying attention to you, I just got caught up in the music'...lolol

Davene Grace said...

Leah - you think I should try it?? ;-)

Amanda - thanks for chiming in. I knew YOU would be able to add some great ones to the list!! :)

Unknown said...

OH MY WORD! I skipped over you into/explanation and went right to your list. The whole time, I was thinking, "This is so NOT Davene, unless motherhood has given her musical amnesia." Whew, glad I read the rest!