A Feast of Friendship

During the height of the busy school season, when days always seem to be filled with not just our regular school activities here at home, but also some pretty important extracurriculars, entire weeks at a time go by without us having anyone over, or meeting up with anyone for friendship time.  My head is full of good intentions as the school year begins about how I can incorporate more hospitality into my schedule, but it doesn't take me too long to realize that, once again, I have to adjust my aspirations to fit my reality.  And the reality during most of the months of the year is that I simply don't have the time to spend with people--outside my family--that I would like.  I could feel guilty about this (and sometimes I do, believe me!); or I could realize that it is what it is, and what it is is a busy season of the year.  But summer's comin'...  :)

We got a head start on our relaxed, let's-spend-time-with-friends, we're-on-summer-break schedule recently.  Although we are still officially finishing up a little bit of history and read-alouds left over from this past school year, it almost feels like we're done with school; and we haven't yet transitioned into the learning activities I have planned for this summer.  What does that equal?  A perfect window of opportunity to get together with friends.  :)

We kicked off this feast of friendship on Tuesday, May 13, when Megan, the wonderful violin teacher of Josiah and David, came over for dinner.

The following day, the kids and I had a really fun time visiting my long-time friend Christin and her girls; it's always such a joy when my kids love the kids of someone I love!  :)

Two days later, I had the privilege of going on a Moms' Night Out with my new friend Jennifer, whom I met through Tobin and Shav's soccer team, and four other women; we watched the movie Moms' Night Out, then went to Chili's to continue our conversation over food.

The next day, we went to our friends Kevin and Amanda's house for dinner and had a great time there.  It's not often that a family of seven gets invited to someone's house for dinner, and we definitely appreciated the hospitality shown us!

Two days later, another long-time friend of mine, Judy, came over for a visit.  She lives in another state; but when she's visiting here, I always love to snatch some time with her.  The boys know that when Judy comes, she gets down on the floor and plays with them, and they look forward to her visits with great excitement.  This time, I had to literally shoo them out the door for a while so Judy and I could talk and get caught up on each other's lives a little before the boys monopolized her time with games.  :)

Three days later, a group of homeschool friends came over to talk, let our kids play together, and share a light lunch.  It was a complete joy to have them here!

Three days after that, our next-door neighbors came over for lunch on Sunday; and we managed to squeeze all 15 of us around our kitchen table where we enjoyed great food, great fellowship, and a great friendship.  Plus, we celebrated my dad's 74th birthday together.  :)

Truly, I've been feasting!  Getting a chance to spend time with these people filled up my friendship tank in an abundant way, and I'm so grateful for each one of them!  :)

I had intended to take pictures at all of these gatherings, but I completely forgot at some of them.  I did, however, remember to get out the camera when Judy was here visiting.

 She asked for a violin concert, and our resident virtuosos were happy to perform.  :)

 Completely unplanned, Judy and Moriah ended up matching.  :)

 It's too bad we're always so serious when we're together and never have any fun.  ;-)

The next set of pictures is from the day four other homeschooling families came over.  I got my camera out for a little bit, but then ended up preoccupied enough that I didn't actually get to take many pictures.  That's how it goes sometimes.  :)

 I was really impressed with how well the children played together.  Some of them knew each other before this gathering, but some did not; however, the whole thing was blessedly peaceful.  :)

 The moms: me, Amanda, Sally, Jennifer, and Mary Beth.  The 5 of us had 19 children there (one child was being babysat by one of the moms, so she brought him along, too...technically, we 5 have 18 kids...and we marveled at how Michelle Duggar does it).  :)

I'm really grateful that Jennifer took some pictures and then shared them with me; the next six are from her.  :)  I like this swing picture a lot (would be better if Shav were there, too) ;-), but it also reminds me that Moriah was really not having a cheerful morning.  See how grumpy she looks?  I didn't realize it at the time, but she was sick.  When I got her up from her nap a couple hours after everyone had left, she had a fever of 101.6.  Yikes.  I felt so badly--not just for her, but also for the others who might have been exposed to any germs she might have been carrying.  No wonder she was fussy and clingy that morning though; it all made sense after I discovered her fever!

Last but not at all least, we get to the birthday celebration for my dad.  :)  Because our guests are Old Order Mennonite, I didn't take pictures of them; but I couldn't let Dad's celebration go by without taking pictures of the most important part.

The cake, of course.  ;-)

Kidding, obviously!  The most important part is this man!!  :)

I'm very glad that we got to spend this birthday together...

...and very glad for each of the joyful times of fun and friendship I've had during the past couple weeks.

Truly, my cup overflows!  :)

When Rain Keeps Boys inside All Day...

...by evening, they may be creating new dance routines (this particular one was named Bouncy Ball Round and was mostly thought up by Josiah with some input from David) and perfecting their synchronization

They've got to get their energy out somehow, you know!  :)

Wordless Wednesday {Looks like Summer!}

Let Me Count the Ways, Vol. 2

Series introduction is here.

~ Jeff & I in San Diego, probably in 2000 or 2001

13. One lovely evening, I was pushing Moriah on the swing, and Jeff was working in the garden.  As he walked past us one time, he paused to watch Moriah, then gave a little laugh before moving on.  "What?" I called.  "She's just cute," he said.  :)  One thing that unites a couple is mutual admiration of their children, and I loved seeing Jeff's delight in his daughter.

14. At the dinner table one time, Jeff was starting to say something, and David broke in to interrupt him with what he, David, thought he, Jeff, was going to say.  After David, but before Jeff spoke again, I piped up with what I thought Jeff was going to say.  Turns out my answer was correct.  :)  Jeff looked at David with a smile and gently teased him by saying, "Mom can read my mind better than you can."  As close as we are to our kids and as much as we cherish them, it's still good to remember--and sometimes, remind them--that there's a uniqueness to the bond that Jeff and I have.  It's sort of like sometimes when the kids are crowding around Jeff or snuggling with him, I say, "I was here first!"  And I was--YEARS before they were even born.  :)

15. A week and a half ago, I received this email from Jeff.  He wrote...

"Something I really appreciate and likely fail to tell you often...

I really love going to bed and finding the bed made...fresh and ready...thanks!"

He notices that??  Just like with #8 in the beginning of this series, the thing that made me feel so loved was that he notices what I do.  Being noticed--and appreciated, of course--certainly inspires a person to even greater heights.  As a matter of fact, do you think I've let the bed go unmade since Jeff's email?  Not a chance!  :)  Not because I feel like, "Oh, great, now I HAVE to make it," but because I want to!  Because it's important!  Because Jeff notices!!  :)

16. Early one morning recently, Jeff kissed me awake before he left for work; then he handed me a CD and said something like, "Here.You wanted this."  I forced my eyes to open enough to see what he was holding out to me; and when I saw that it was a CD of "songs of romance and commitment in marriage" by Buddy Davis, I thought something like, "I did??  I wanted this?  Wow, I really don't remember asking for this, or even discussing it at all with Jeff.  In fact, I don't even remember that I knew this CD existed!  I can imagine that I would have asked for it, because ever since we crossed paths with Buddy Davis at a conference and were so kindly and warmly greeted by him, I've been a fan of his.  And if I saw something about 'songs of romance and commitment in marriage,' it's likely that I would have been intrigued by that.  But goodness!  I just can't recall ever thinking about this CD before--much less asking Jeff for it!  Maybe when I wake up more, I'll remember!"  Later on, when I did wake up, I still didn't remember asking for the CD, so when Jeff got home from work, I questioned him more about it.  And then he made me laugh by dredging up an email I sent him on February 15, 2012(!!!), in which I linked to the CD and said, "Sometime it would be nice to have this...not a necessity, of course...just a wish for someday. :)"  Well!  No wonder I couldn't exactly remember asking him for that CD!  Jeff further explained that he had put an alert on Ebay for the CD, so every time one came up, he would get a message about it.  But up until this point, the price had always risen higher than he wanted to pay.  Finally, a cheap one came along.  And that is why, two and a quarter years after I first asked for it, Jeff woke me up one morning to hand me a Buddy Davis CD that he informed me I wanted!!  :)

17. Speaking of...ahem...shall we say, delayed gifts...  ;-)  For Christmas of 2012, I had asked Jeff for a tent--one that all of us could fit into.  He very obligingly gave me a tent...which sat, unopened, for nearly a year and a half on the floor of our garage.  All during the summer of 2013, which I had supposed would be filled with fun camping trips, we never did a thing with the tent.  After such a long time, I wasn't even sure we'd ever get around to using it; maybe we're just not a tenting family?  But then, Jeff...  :)  

A few days ago, he brought up the idea of camping for Memorial Day.  And where did he choose for us to make our camping-as-a-family-of-seven debut?  Our very own backyard.  :)  In the late afternoon yesterday, he got to work, unpacking and setting up the tent--the longed-for tent--the wow-we-really-can-fit-all-of-us-in-here-with-room-to-spare tent--the glorious, glorious tent.  And we all slept in it last night.  All of us.  All night long.  Yes, even Moriah.  :)  I snapped a few pictures as we were getting set up, then put the camera away because I didn't want to be bothered with it anymore.  But here are some moments we captured...

What do I want to remember from our first ever camping "trip"?  How about...

~ the way the boys were SO excited!  (well, I was, too)  :)

~ their joy at seeing the stars come out as the sky darkened

~ me reading some bedtime stories to the boys, but then Jeff having to take over when it came time to read Love You Forever (and I laid there in the near-dark, with my family all around me, and my heart squeezed so tightly with love that it pushed a few tears out of my eyes--imagine that!)  ;-)

~ Moriah wandering around in the tent for quite a while before settling down and falling asleep--when she finally slept, throughout the course of the night, she was either lying on Jeff, lying on me, or lying on the air mattress between us, which didn't make for the most restful sleep for Jeff and I, but who goes camping to get good rest anyway?  ;-)

~ the coziness of my sleeping bag as the night air cooled

~ my concern that the boys would get too cold (since it had been warm when we went to bed, they were just wearing t-shirts and shorts, for the most part)

~ Shav waking in the night and being sort of disoriented, but settling back down fairly quickly after I gave him my cozy fleece jacket and helped him find his sleeping bag and pillow again

~ the dew that soaked the side of the tent, mere centimeters (it felt) from my face

~ my aching back (which didn't really bother me, because I knew as soon as I got up and moved around a while, it would stop hurting)

~ the splendor of the stars when I awoke (several times) ;-) in the night

~ our rooster crowing (and crowing and CROWING) while it was still very dark--when we're inside, I never pay attention to it, but early this morning I heard it quite well!

~ waking up in the night to hear Jeff saying something like, "Help! Help!"--turns out he was having a bad dream about camels laying on him, and then they started eating his hand!  :)

~ the joy of watching Moriah sleep this morning as she snuggled up beside me, strands of hair curled around her face, warm blankets pulled up around her neck, her breathing soft and even

But what I'll remember most, I think, is how loved I felt by Jeff.

Jeff, who bought the tent for me (well, us).  ;-)

Jeff, who had the idea to do this on Memorial Day.

Jeff, who takes delight in surprising the boys with special activities.

Jeff, who did all the work to set the tent up.

Jeff, who read to us before we slept.

Jeff, who made us all feel so safe and snug.

Jeff, who took down the tent today.

Jeff, who rolled up all the sleeping bags.

Jeff, who surely loves me.  :)

The First Seven

Since I already wrote a lengthy introduction to this series, I'm going to, without further ado, dive into the first of the seven areas highlighted in Jen Hatmaker's book.

Food

Let me briefly say that, to get a sense of how much excess there was in the area of food in her life, Jen decided to only eat seven foods for a month.  And I don't mean foods like lasagna, tacos, and yellow curry over rice.  I mean seven single-ingredient foods.  Eggs, for example.  Sweet potatoes.  Spinach.  Things like that.  Wow.

Pause for a confession: it wasn't rare for me, as I was reading probably all of the seven areas Jen writes about, to have the thought flutter through my mind, "Well, at least I'm not THAT bad.  At least my family doesn't do THAT."  For example, in the chapter on food, Jen describes a time when her children threw away the fish she had prepared for them (her kids were not eating only 7 foods that month)--because they didn't have ketchup.  It tore Jen up that, while millions of people around the world are literally starving (a word my own kids, by the way, toss around when they're hungry, but have ZERO comprehension of what it really would be like to starve), her kids threw away food, simply because they didn't have their favorite condiment to put on it.

I can see why she was upset.

As I read the chapter, I automatically asked myself two questions, "Is this something I should do--to experience a month of only eating 7 foods?" and "If not, what COULD and SHOULD I do to honor God more in this area, shed excess, and free myself up to be a light for Him?"

This is what I concluded.

I don't feel the need to limit myself to 7 foods; as a matter of fact, we ourselves grow many more than just 7 foods, so it would be silly not to eat them!  But my decision to not follow Jen's example of only eating 7 doesn't mean we don't have pretty strong convictions about food.  We do.

For example...
~ We don't waste food.  At home or in a restaurant, we don't take a bite of something, then throw the rest away.
~ We teach our kids to eat what is set before them and eat everything on their plates.  (LONG-time readers of my blog(s) might remember this post about The Clean Plate Club.)
~ We enjoy leftovers and don't throw them away simply because we're tired of them.
~ Jeff and I are not picky and are training our children to not be picky.
~ We really are trying to grow as much of our food as we can; and I am CERTAIN that if not for our (read: Jeff's) efforts in this area, our grocery bill would have doubled or tripled, based on how much more food our kids consume now than they did four or five years ago.  Folks weren't kidding when they said a tribe of growing boys would make food disappear quicker than you could blink!  :)  It used to be, for example, that one pint-sized box of peas from the freezer would be sufficient for our family, if I wanted to serve peas as a side dish.  Nowadays, I always grab two pints; and recently when we've had peas, some of the boys have been "fighting" over the last peas in the bowl.  I suppose it's time to start preparing three pints at a time--which sure empties the freezer of our garden produce faster than it used to!  :)

But even with those good habits (many of which were instilled in both Jeff and I by our parents long ago), still I ask myself, "Is there more we could/should be doing in this area?"

I answered myself with these 7 ideas.

1. Eat the same breakfast every day for 7 days; then do the same for lunch for a different 7 days.
2. Choose 7 meals for supper that we will eat for a month (and really, that only means eating each food about four times during a month, which doesn't even sound that difficult).
3. Maybe once in a while, have a meal like the poor in another country would be doing--just rice, for example--to raise awareness for ourselves and for our kids about the reality of life for many people in the world.
4. Be even more vigilant about using up food and not letting anything spoil (the last little bit of lettuce in the bottom of the frig, for example--but many times, even if it goes bad for us, we feed it to the chickens so it's not entirely worthless).
5. Make a chart for grocery shopping so I can do a better job of comparing prices at various stores; plus, I'd like to keep track of how much we spend on food each month, then work to reduce that.  Maybe the amount that I spend less in a certain month than I did the month before, we could donate to a relief organization.
6. Look for more recipes for cheaper meals--cheaper either because they use things we already have or because the ingredients are just cheaper (dry beans, for example, rather than chicken breasts).
7. Volunteer (with Josiah and David) at a local food pantry, so that we can put a face on the problem of hunger and stop relegating it to some far-off tribes in Africa.  Hunger exists here, in our own community; let's do something about that.

Let me repeat that these are ideas.  I'm not really sure how they'll translate into practical action.  One thing that I didn't want to do was simply push myself to sacrifice for a short time (like eating the same thing for lunch for a week), but not do anything that actually helps someone else.  I realize that sometimes making those sacrifices to become more aware is what it takes to start the engine to make changes, so I'm not denying the value of that.  But if it simply becomes an exercise in "can Davene eat granola and milk for breakfast for 7 days in a row without going crazy?", I'm missing the point entirely.  But speaking of granola...  :)

This past week, I had decided that I would indeed begin to focus on over-consumption of food by eating granola every morning for breakfast.  Granola isn't my favorite thing in the whole wide world to eat for breakfast, but I don't mind it; and it didn't seem like the challenge would really be that big of a deal.  Until...

The second day.

Jeff decided, spur of the moment, to go to work later that day so he could spend some extra time here at home with the family.  He fried bacon and made some delicious BLT wraps for our breakfast.  How do I know they were delicious?  Because I ate one.  Ate it without a single thought that I was already "breaking the rule" for my emphasis on food.

It literally wasn't until I had started eating the second one Jeff made for me that I realized what I was doing.  But did I immediately stop eating it?

Nope.

"I've already blown it since I ate that first one; why not be grateful for the yummy result of Jeff's labor of love [I was grateful, let me tell you!] and just finish this one, too?  Then tomorrow I'll get back on track with my granola plan!"

So I did.

Do I feel bad about it?  Well, yes and no.  Could I have stopped eating that second one?  Sure.  But is the goal of this whole exercise to see how much self-restraint I have when faced with temptation?  Is it really to guard my mouth with Pharisaical legalism so that nothing unauthorized passes my lips?  Does legalism help me in this area at all?

Honestly, no.

I want my heart to change.  I want my eyes to be opened anew to the bountiful blessings God has given us in the area of food.  I want my mind to consider new ways that I can share that abundance with others.

Can those goals be accomplished even though I ate that second BLT wrap?

I certainly hope so!  :)

As I look back over my own list of 7 for the topic of food, I cannot help but think that out of all of those, the last one is the most important by far.  Volunteering in a food pantry is something that I have wanted to do for a very long time; but like with most grand intentions, that desire got buried under an avalanche of "real life" mixed with procrastination--a deadly combination, if I ever saw one!  But like I mentioned in the introductory post, this is the perfect window of time for me to make some changes; and serving in a food pantry is the first major change I'm making.  Or trying to.

As a matter of fact, on May 16 I made the first phone call to inquire about helping in a local food pantry--a big first step for me.  Right now it's a matter of working the scheduling out, and that reminds me: I need to call Tom back to see if he can use Josiah, David, and I on the days we have available.  Mental note: do that bright and early Monday morning.

To conclude, when I think about the area of food, it's easy to think about all the things we're already doing right.  But it's transformative to think about what we're not.

I'm pretty sure that's a theme that will repeat itself in each of the other 6 areas.

I've got some changing to do!

(This series of posts continues here and concludes here.)