"How Old Am I?" {Mother Turns 73}

If there's one thing my mother's descent into the darkness of Alzheimer's disease has taught me, it's to be more conscious of the significance of each day, each month, each year of life with those we love and to be grateful for the gift of these times together.

Times like birthdays, for example.  :)

So as my mother's 73rd birthday was approaching, I looked forward with great joy to having her here in our home with us to celebrate!  

It was really fun to prepare a special evening for her: to make from scratch an angel food cake, to cook other foods that I knew she would especially like (ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry salad, dill beans), to get a special gift wrapped up for her.  Even if her Alzheimer's would steal the memories of that celebration away from her, the rest of us would still carry them in our hearts, and all the effort was more than worth it.

As it turned out, my mother was chipper and lively that evening, and she seemed to enjoy everything very much.  

When she and Dad got to our house, they had some time to interact with the kids while I was finishing getting supper ready...

...and time with grandkids is pretty good therapy for a memory-challenged grandma.  :)

After we prayed and sang happy birthday to her, we asked Mother if she wanted to open the cards and gift then or later.  She was indecisive and could have gone either way; but as you can imagine, the boys wanted her to open things right then!  :)

It wasn't hard to convince her, and they oh-so-helpfully carried the gift bag to her and supervised the opening of the present and the cards.  ;-)

When I was thinking what to get her, I had the idea to get some of the pictures Emily Sacra took for us in August printed up and put in frames that she could hang on her wall in the nursing home.

I LOVE how they turned out...

...and I love how Mom reacted when she saw the picture in the smallest frame.  It was one of Dad kissing her, and she broke out in a hearty laugh and said something like, "Now this is the best one!"  :)

I also love that my boys are so affectionate with her and got to shower her with love on her special day.

One thing that Jeff and Dad and I all noticed (and discussed among ourselves later) was that Mother didn't read her birthday cards--and maybe that word "didn't" should be "couldn't."  Has she lost the ability to read?  Not too many months ago, I took some short little videos of her reading the special blog post I wrote for my parents' 51st anniversary back in June because I wanted to preserve the sound of her voice and the inflection she used as she read aloud.  Has she declined so much in that amount of time that she really can't read any more?  Or was she hesitant to do it because of all of us here who could hear her?

For whatever reason, when she pulled Dad's card (which had really beautiful, meaningful words on it, by the way) out of the envelope, she glanced at the front of the card, then opened it without reading all the words.  A little later in the evening, Dad kind of prompted her again to read the card from him, but again she didn't.

When she opened the card from the kids, she asked, "Who is the oldest child here?"  And when Josiah responded that he was, she told him (nicely, of course) to read it aloud.  And the card from Jeff and I went unread as well.  Looked at and admired, but unread.  That stood out to us as being unusual.

Another thing I noticed is that quite a few times during the evening, she asked, "How old am I?"  We would tell her; and once when we did so, she remarked that 73 seemed pretty old.  ;-)

Here are better pictures of our gifts to her...

...and every time I see them, I am SO GRATEFUL all over again that we had that photo shoot with Emily.  :)

One other thing stood out to me on her birthday: she called me by name.  I suppose every caregiver for Alzheimer's patients wonders when their loved one will lose the ability to call them by name; and I find myself listening for her familiar voice to say "Davene" when we're together, treasuring up the remembrances of these moments in preparation for the days when she will no longer say it.  Sometime it will be the last time; but now at least I know that when she turned 73, she could still call me by the name she and Dad chose for me more than 38 years ago.

A year can bring a lot of changes, and only God knows how things will be for my mom when she turns 74.  But no matter what lies ahead, I'll be grateful that we got to celebrate this 73rd birthday with her.  It was an evening of joy for her, and her good spirits gladdened my heart as well.

What a gift!