* Update on 1/8/13: after reading over this today, I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't have posted it--at least, not in this form. I fear that it comes across as a pat-myself-on-the-back, holier-than-thou kind of post; and I do not want that. The truth is that I too often struggle in my quest to serve joyfully, so I write this from a position of weakness: to be open about that, to spur myself on to victories in this area. I haven't arrived yet, that's for sure!! I also don't want to give the impression that I'm so loving and serving and Jeff isn't, because HE IS. In more ways that I'm even aware, he has laid down his whole life for me and for our family; and I am eternally grateful for all the sacrifices he has made/continues to make for us. With all that said, read on, if you so desire... :)
Original post:
A few nights ago, a selfish thought sprang into my mind--planted there, I'm sure, by the Enemy of all that is good and holy--as I did a routine task. "Why am I always the one to do this?" I grumbled inside myself. "Why can't he ever do it?" The "he" in question being, of course, the sleepy one laying there in bed, the man I married 15 and a half years ago, the best friend I've ever had, the love of my life, the other half of me.
I believe in the heavenly realm a battle was raging at that moment, and one of the weapons that the forces of light were using to rescue me was another thought to counteract the bitter one. The thought was this...
"Do you remember the 'game' you and Jeff used to play early in your marriage--the game where each of you tried to be the first to serve the other? Maybe you should start competing in that way again."
The remembrance washed over my mind and soul like a healing wave, sweeping away the bitter root that had been trying to plant itself and bringing joy to my heart as I thought about how much fun it had been to see how quickly I could serve Jeff in those days. When a need was present, could I be fast enough to meet it before he did? I didn't always win; but even when I didn't win, I won...if you know what I mean. If you understand what I'm talking about, you realize that it's a true win-win situation--that NO ONE can lose when each tries to out-serve the other.
To tell you the truth, it had been quite a while since I thought about that competition, much less participated in it. The time had come to do it again.
It might seem like a silly contest; but for some reason, for me, it works. Maybe because I'm competitive enough to try to win any competition that I'm in. ;-) Or maybe because this way of looking at it reminds me that the call to follow Christ is primarily a call to lay down one's life and be a servant.
Whatever the reason, I'm just grateful that God brought back to my mind the I'm Gonna Serve You First game. This competition sure has sweet prizes, and the chiefest one is called...
...L-O-V-E!
~ this picture was taken at Furness Abbey (a spot I fell in love with!), during our brief visit to the UK in the summer of 2005...the first picture in this post was taken when we lived in San Diego, before we had children, back in our newlywed days (which lasted for about five years) ;-)
2 comments:
What an awesome post! This has been a struggle of mine for a long time. I like the idea of turning it into a game; I compete with myself all the time so this might be just the thing for me.
I confess to feeling the same way much too often lately. I try to repeat Colossians 3:23 and Ephesians 6:7 at those times. I like your idea of a "serving" game!
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