My Youngest Boys

When we found out that our sixth child was a boy, I wondered how Shav would feel about losing his Youngest Son status.  I needn't have worried.  :)

Rather than feeling displaced, I do believe Shav thinks it's a wonderful thing to have a baby brother.  His tenderness towards Benjamin and his loving words about him show me that.  :)

When we brought Benjamin home from the hospital, he was one day old...

 ...and Shav wanted to snuggle with him.

Now that Benjamin is one month and three days old...

 ...Shav still wants to snuggle with him.  :)

 There's a lot of love between these two boys!

Further proof?  This afternoon Shav was begging me to "do school" with him, so I told him we could finish up this workbook.  I had to smile when, out of all the things he could have chosen in answer to what he likes to do, Shav wrote "hug Benjamin."  :)

I think it's safe to say that Shav is very pleased to now be a big brother, not just to a little sister, but to a little brother, too!  :)

The View from Here

My sweet koala.  :)

 A little bit ago, this was my view.

 David was being a night owl and got to sneak in some extra cuddles with Benjamin.

It might not be the view from the top of a mountain or the view of majestic ocean waves, but this kind of view, as captured in fuzzy cell phone photos, suits me just fine.  :)

Wordless Wednesday {1st in a Series of 12}

When Benjamin Was One Month Old...

...he weighed 10 pounds, 15 ounces.  The baby scales once used by his great-granddad and now by his granddad told us so.

When Benjamin was one month old...

...he got to cuddle with his Grandma Huffman.  And you know what?  She put him right to sleep!

When Benjamin was one month old...

...he got to be part of a family photo shoot that his mommy REALLY wanted to do before his Grandma Fisher flew back to California.  He didn't get to be in ALL the pictures (some were for girls only!), but he was in most of them; and when the official pictures were over, his daddy snatched him from Grandma's lap and cuddled with him ON THE GRASS!  (Funny daddy!)  :)

When Benjamin was one month old...

...he had already had lots of adventures.  Like going with his family to the Virginia Mennonite Relief Sale and walking around in the rain to get donuts, and then discovering that the battery in the big white van was dead--so exciting.  And going into a great big giant bubble-thing and watching big brother Tobin take swimming lessons.  And going to the store so Mommy could go grocery shopping (boring!), and going to children's choir rehearsals, and going to a how-to-draw-cartoons class, and going to a homeschool mom's night out (but they let him come and be the only guy because he's so cute), and going to church services, and going to a place called Sweet Bee so the family could get frozen yogurt (but no one shared even one little bite with Benjamin), and going to a place where big brother David played his violin with a bunch of other people, and going to a restaurant called Kyoto so the rest of the family could eat some really yummy food (but mostly so they could watch the chef throw knives around and spin eggs in the air and make fire shoot up while he was cooking their food in front of them).  It was a busy month for Benjamin!

But the best part of all is this...

When Benjamin was one month old...

...he had been hugged and kissed a whole bunch of times, had been prayed for, had been sung to, had been lovingly bathed and clothed and fed, and had been cuddled for hours and hours.  And that was just the beginning!

Many more good times to come in month #2!!  :)

His First Four Weeks

Four weeks and a day ago, this boy...

...was born in a beautiful birth experience that I'll treasure forever.  Since then, he has brought so much joy--to me and to all of my family.  I once wondered if I could ever love my second child as much as my first; and now here I am, with my sixth child, feeling my heart expand yet again as love--overwhelming, surging love--rushes through it.  I am crazy about Benjamin!!!  :)

When people ask me how things are going with a new baby in the house, their most frequent question, it seems, is, "How is Moriah doing?"  It makes total sense that they would ask that, since this is the first time that she, unlike her big brothers, is making the adjustment to the big sibling role.

I am happy to say that she is doing great!  She was so ready to be a big sister, and her maternal nature is flourishing as she has a real live baby to (help) take care of.  :)  She is so eager to do things for Benjamin: turn on his swing, put on his shoes (although that's a job I'm more successful at than she is) ;-), buckle him in his car seat (another job for Mommy), put a blanket on him when I'm holding him, etc.  She does what she can for him, and then I see her doing for her dolls what I do for Benjamin.  She is a little mama, for sure!

I haven't seen a hint of animosity from Moriah--or any of the kids--towards Benjamin.  They are ALL so loving and affectionate towards him and have so warmly welcomed him into our family.  I've heard Josiah and David saying things like, "I just love having a baby brother," and "I'm so glad we have Benjamin."  Just yesterday or the day before, Tobin said something like "Benjamin is so gorgeous!"  Shav once said, "I would cry if Benjamin died because he's so precious and he's the only baby brother I have!"  Moriah can say "Benjamin" perfectly well, but usually calls him "Baby," and she'll say things like "It's OK, Baby! We have a trampoline!" which is supposed to comfort Benjamin when he's fussy but, for some reason, doesn't.  ;-)  One day she made me melt by saying about Benjamin, "Oh goodness, he loves us!"  A little later, she heard Benjamin start to cry as he was lying on my bed, so she climbed up beside him and crooned, "It's OK!  You have a friend!"  :)

All the kids have taken turns holding him, with David and Tobin probably being the ones to do that the most.  When Moriah holds him, it only lasts for a very short time before her attention moves on to something else and she's ready for me to take him.  But with the others, they are content to hold him for a while--especially if he's quiet and peaceful.  ;-)

I mentioned that Moriah can say Benjamin's name very well.  Because of that, this is maybe the first time that, when we've had a new baby, the next oldest sibling has been able to say the name correctly and hasn't come up with some funny pronunciation for it.  By contrast, Tobin, for example, pronounced Shav's name as "Odd" and "Oddy" (Shavi) for quite a while before he could pronounce it like we do.  :)

Physically, Benjamin has been doing just fine during the past four weeks.  His umbilical cord stump fell off on September 19; he was six days old, and that happened to be the day his Grandma Fisher arrived here from California.  :)

When he was one week old, I had him weighed on the baby scales that my Granddad Huffman used to use in his medical practice and my dad got from him.  Benjamin had regained his birth weight and one extra ounce, weighing in at 8 pounds, 10 ounces.  (All of these photos are from that day, by the way.)  By two and a half weeks of age, he was up to 9 pounds, 10 ounces.  I plan to have him weighed again tomorrow, when he will officially be one month old, and I'm eager to see how much more he's gained since his last weigh-in.  :)

Of course with any newborn, a paramount issue is sleep, so let me record how he's doing with that.

In general, Benjamin sleeps very well, provided certain conditions are met.  ;-)  In general, his favorite place to sleep is curled up on someone's chest--usually mine, but Jeff has gotten to have some good naps with his littlest son, too.  :)  Early on, I was grateful enough that he was sleeping that I didn't care too much that he wasn't sleeping well in his own bed; but after a week or so, I was eager for Benjamin to learn that his crib wasn't so bad.  As much as I was enjoying cuddling with him while he was sleeping, I also was looking forward to having some time when my arms were free to do other things besides hold him.  ;-)

I guess it was eight days after Benjamin was born that I was talking to a friend of mine, Lynette, at a rehearsal of the children's choir, and telling her that Benjamin just did not like to sleep on his back in his crib; and she suggested that he might do a little better if he were more on his side, rather than flat on his back.  Aha!  The lightbulb turned on in my head, and I remembered how I had done that with some of my other babies, and it had helped them.  I tried that, and sure enough, saw improvement with Benjamin--so much so that by Wednesday, September 23, when he was 10 days old, he slept a significant part of the night in his crib.  Hooray for babies learning to sleep!  And hooray for mommies getting more sleep, too!  :)

With none of my babies have I felt very comfortable having them sleep in bed with us, but with Benjamin I figured out that I could position myself on the couch in such a way as to be really quite comfortable.  He was on my chest, and I had the Boppy pillow sort of around us, and we were set up in a way that I felt convinced I wouldn't try to roll over and he wouldn't fall off.  With him so secure and snuggly on my chest, we both slept pretty well, so even during those days and nights when he wasn't fond of his bed, we were both getting a decent amount of sleep.  As a matter of fact, I probably have been getting more sleep in this postpartum period than in any of my other ones because when Benjamin would get fussy in the late evenings, I would hold him and fall asleep with him, rather than staying up to "get stuff done" (the story of my life!).  ;-)  What's more, I truly enjoyed those times of cuddling with him, especially as I remembered how speedily these newborn days depart; but I will admit that I did get to the point of tears one night as I thought, "When will I EVER get to sleep in my own bed again?  It would REALLY be nice to actually be in the same bed as Jeff again someday!!"  ;-)

As it is now, Benjamin is still not completely consistent with sleeping well in the crib; but he does it often enough that I get a break (and actually get to sleep on my side in my own bed, rather than on my back on the couch).  And anyway, the times when he's fussy in his bed, I really don't mind picking him up and letting him curl up on my chest.  He's my little koala.  :)

Here is what I love most about Benjamin...
~ his noises (sometimes he grunts like a little pig, sometimes he makes other noises that I can't describe, but they're the quintessential newborn noises that make sentimental mothers ache when their own babies are grown and they hear other infants making those noises!)
~ his startle reflex...he throws his arms open wide, and it makes me ache to pick him up and comfort him
~ his smell, especially after a bath...I just have to hold him close and sniff his head  :)
 ~ his facial expression when he's sleeping, but he's trying to open his eyes, but he just can't do it because his eyelids are so heavy  :)
 ~ the feel of his velvet-soft head...there's nothing like it
~ the way he folds his hands and cuddles on my chest...occasionally he will have his arms out to each side, totally relaxed and limp; but more often, he's all curled up with his arms almost under him...makes me think of how he might have been in the womb  :)
~ his smiles and laughs...I know good and well that the early smiles and laughs aren't "real" ones ;-), but I can't help but get a grin on my face when I hear Benjamin make a noise that sounds like a laugh (usually in his sleep) or when I see the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile...and speaking of smiles, I feel like last Tuesday, October 6, I saw for the first time a real smile on his face...it happened again the following day; and then on Saturday, October 10, he had a period of time in which he was such a smiley little guy!  it is SO MUCH FUN to see such happy grins on the precious face of an infant who has looked fairly serious for the past three or four weeks!

All of those things aside, however, I guess what I REALLY love the most about Benjamin is that God created him for a very special reason and, in His great love and mercy, gave him to us...

...and he is ours!  Thank You, God, for this precious little son!!!!!!  :)

My "While I Labor" Playlist

I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight.  

Maybe it's because I was cleaning and organizing Benjamin's room today and, as I went through his dresser drawers, I pulled out some clothes he has outgrown.  Already!  Not even a month old and already too big for some of his clothes!  Maybe it's because it's been raining some tonight.  Maybe because earlier this evening, as I sorted through my maternity clothes in preparation for getting rid of them, I was listening to my "While I Labor" playlist and remembering the sweetness of Benjamin's birth.  Maybe because it doesn't take much at all to make me feel a little sentimental!  :)

I decided that this would be a good night to finish writing about the songs I listened to during labor--or would have listened to during labor if my labor had lasted longer!  As it was, we didn't get to hear nearly all the songs on this list!  But they are still meaningful to me and are special reminders of that very special time.  :)

In this post from a couple weeks ago, I wrote about the most significant song in my playlist for labor--significant because of the way the song contributed to the image that filled me with peace and assurance in the days leading up to my labor.  I will always be grateful for that song and its special contribution to Benjamin's birth!

But that wasn't the only song on my playlist, of course; so for memory's sake, I want to record the other pieces I had, for one reason or another, added to my "While I Labor" playlist.  I mentioned a few of those songs in this segment of Benjamin's birth story, but here is the full list.  And, by the way, this post from mid-July mentions that I had already started putting together this playlist, way before I did a lot of the "more important" tasks, like registering for the hospital, packing my hospital bag, etc.  My priority was the music!  :)

Tonight I looked back at the list of songs I listened to during my labor with Moriah; and interestingly, none of those were included on my list this time.  I still love those songs, of course; but nearly three and a half years after Moriah's birth, other songs spoke more deeply to me as I prepared for this labor.

Best Day of My Life - American Authors - "This is gonna be the best day of my life..." and the day Benjamin was born certainly ranks in the top 10 best days of my life!  Plus, this is a fun, energetic song; and that's a good thing during labor.  :)

Stronger - Hillsong - "You are stronger, You are stronger...So let Your name be lifted higher, be lifted higher..."  A great reminder of the real source of my strength!

Nothing Without You - Bebo Norman - "Take these hands, and lift them up, for I have not the strength to praise You near enough...So take my body, and build it up; may it be broken as an offering of love...I love You with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all the strength that I can find...So all the world can see that I have nothing...I am nothing without You..."  Another song of utter dependence on God.

My Lighthouse - Rend Collective - "You are the peace in my troubled sea...I will trust the promise, You will carry me safe to shore..."  Another fun song!

Still - Hillsong - Complete dependence on God is expressed in this song that is really a cry for help.

Hey Brother - Avicii - I like the energy in this, as well as the humility to say, "I can't do it on my own!"

To Whom It May Concern - The Civil Wars - As soon as I first heard this piece (probably several years ago), I knew that, if I ever gave birth again, I wanted to listen to this during labor.  These words are so fitting.  "Why are you so far from me?  In my arms is where you ought to be.  How long will you make me wait?  I don't know how much more I can take.  I miss you, but I haven't met you.  Oh, but I want to; how I do.  Slowly counting down the days, til I finally know your name...Dear whoever you might be, I'm still waiting patiently."

Peponi - The Piano Guys - This one doesn't really relate to labor and delivery, but I liked it enough to include it anyway.  :)

Down to the River to Pray - Alison Krauss - Another one that doesn't specifically relate to having a baby, but besides the fact that I'm just fond of the song, I also appreciated the link between us singing this at the baptisms of Josiah and David and me listening to it in preparation to give birth to their youngest brother.  :)

Brave - Sara Bareilles - Having a child does require bravery, for sure!  But that's not really what this song is talking about.  ;-)  No matter.  I was glad to include it anyway.  :)

To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks - A beautiful reminder of the depth of love that a mother has for her child (although the original intent is romantic love, I know).  ;-)  "When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.  When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love..."

I Choose You - Sara Bareilles - This song always makes me think of Jeff--not the baby--but since Jeff was and is a VERY important part of this whole birth experience, I was glad to have a song on my list that was just his.  :)

We Are Not Alone - The Royal Singers - I first heard this piece when my dad sang it in a concert with a men's choir that he was a part of.  I immediately loved it and have listened to it many, many times since then.  "We are not alone; God is with us...God will make us strong...we will press on..."  Such reassuring truths, whether in labor or dealing with any other challenging situation.

Soul on Fire - Third Day - Not really a birthing song, but definitely a get-up-and-get-going song!  :)

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri - "I have died every day, waiting for you.  Darling, don't be afraid.  I have loved you for a thousand years.  I'll love you for a thousand more.  And all along I believed I would find you.  Time has brought your heart to me.  I have loved you for a thousand years.  I'll love you for a thousand more..."  Beautiful song.

Joyful, Joyful - Casting Crowns - How many times has Beethoven's melody been reinvented since he wrote it in 1824?  This is but the latest in a long succession of versions that I have enjoyed!

When the Saints - Sara Groves - Not related to birthing a child, but a great song anyway (and no, it's not just a modern version of the traditional "When the Saints")!  An inspiring call to follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before and have been faithful to God no matter what.

O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus - Selah -  This was the song that seemed so very looooong to me while I was in the jacuzzi.  :)  

In Christ Alone - Keith & Kristyn Getty - One of my all-time favorite modern worship songs!  "In Christ alone my hope is found...what heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!  My comforter, my all in all--here in the love of Christ I stand!"

Let the Peace of God Reign - Darlene Zschech - Especially significant because of the vision I had of the peace of God flowing over me like a waterfall.

Brave - Josh Groban - "You will find the warmth when you surrender.  Smile into the fear and let it play.  You wanna run away, run away, and you say that it can't be so...Hold on, hold on, so strong...My reason to be brave..." 

Honey/Little Lize - Barbershop Quartet - We heard this performed at a family reunion this past summer.  Doesn't have anything to do with childbirth, but still fun!

When I'm Sixty-Four - Barbershop Quartet - Another fun song.  

David's Jig - Natalie MacMaster - Guaranteed to put a spring in my step.  Plus, I love the name of this piece!  :)

Waterfall - The Piano Guys - You already know why I love this one.  :)

Everything - Michael Buble - I didn't know much about Michael Buble's music until I started hearing it on Pandora.  These songs of his are such happy ones that I decided to add them to my playlist, and I am ALWAYS glad to hear them come on.  :)

Feeling Good - Michael Buble - "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good."  :)

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble - OK, so I have a lot of favorites in this playlist, but this is really a favorite!  Such a fun song, and listen to these words that admittedly aren't intended for labor and delivery, but aren't they appropriate anyway??  "I might have to wait; I'll never give up.  I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck.  Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you come out of nowhere and into my life.  And I know that we can be so amazing.  And, baby, your love is gonna change me.  And now I can see every possibility.  But somehow I know that it'll all turn out.  And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.  And I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I get.  I just haven't met you yet!"  As a bonus, the video for it just makes me smile--and the girl in it is Michael's wife.  :)

Well, there you have it--the 28 songs that, in the late summer of 2015, I compiled in a playlist and listened to repeatedly as I dreamed about what it would be like when my beloved little Benjamin was born.

I still love to listen to these songs; but now, instead of dreaming about what it might be like, I have the joy of remembering how it really was. 

I wouldn't change a thing.  :)

~ photo taken when Benjamin was a week and a half old ~

Wordless Wednesday {What Days Off Are For} :)