(Series introduction is here. The first "seven" is here.)
Before I begin discussing the topic of clothing, let me reiterate what I wrote in the post about food: It's
easy to think about all the things we're already doing right. But it's
transformative to think about what we're
not. I include that here to remind myself of it, because honestly, if there's any area in which I'm tempted to pat myself on the back and say I'm doing just fine, it's probably this one. But here we go: let's reflect on this, and see where it takes us.
Clothing
Jen Hatmaker, who wrote the book that all these posts are referring to, limited herself to 7 items of clothing for a month. Just like with food, I'm not being that radical, which might not be a good thing; but to tell you the truth, I really don't think I'm extravagant in this area at all.
For example...
When Jeff needed more space for his police gear (he's part of the auxiliary police force in our town and consequently, has a lot of STUFF that goes along with that--more than I realized police officers have!), I gave up half of my closet for him. He had suggested bringing home a cabinet from the barber shop to use to store his uniforms and supplies, but one thing I did NOT want was another piece of furniture in our bedroom. So I said, "You can have half my closet!" :) It's not a huge closet either, just a typical 1970's-era bedroom closet. After I had moved my things over to fit in one half and had put Jeff's police gear in the other half, he peered into the closet and asked, "Where did you put all your stuff?" "Well," I replied, "I don't really have much stuff." :)
Another example...
Almost everything we buy for clothing, we get at thrift stores--or, in the case of the boys, we are given them. I guess folks know that we appreciate hand-me-downs because every so often, one of Jeff's co-workers or some other friend will hand us a couple of trash bags full of boys' clothes. What a blessing!
I have so much fun finding great items at thrift stores that I honestly don't even enjoy the process of going to the mall or to a department store to shop for clothes. I was reminded recently of how, when we moved back to the States after living in Israel for several years, I knew I would need to buy some clothes because we had only brought back a few suitcases of possessions. I decided to go to some outlet stores that are close to my sister-in-law's house where we were staying, so off I went, money in hand, ready to spend some on new clothes.
I very nearly couldn't buy a thing. In fact, I think I didn't buy anything--or very little--that first shopping trip. It was just too much, too overwhelming. Although the shock of clothes-shopping in an American outlet store has worn off, I still cringe (most of the time) at the thought of paying for new clothes.
That doesn't stop me from desiring new (used) clothes however. I admit to being susceptible to comfort-shopping; I sometimes crave the "happiness" boost that comes from a new outfit or two. As a matter of fact, not too long ago, I felt like I needed more clothes, and I wanted to go to Goodwill to look for some. Then I realized that I really didn't
need more shirts; I just
wanted them. I didn't go to Goodwill. :)
I did, however, realize that there are some really basic things that I need, like jeans, so I bought those at Kmart when it was going out of business. I now know that I should have gone to a thrift store rather than Kmart, but I was curious to see how big the savings would be at Kmart and what they would have left. When I got there, I ended up buying more than I needed, just because it was "a good deal," which in reality cost me more than it would have at a secondhand shop. I'm still kicking myself a little for that one.
One more example...
I have very few shoes. I don't have even a drop of Imelda Marcos-type blood in me because accumulating shoes holds precisely zero appeal for me. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I wore this past winter?
Two. Occasionally a third.
I had a pair of brown boots that I wore about half the time (more about those in a minute), and a pair of tennis shoes that I wore about half the time. The rest of the time (I know my math is wrong) ;-), I wore a pair of black boots if I couldn't get away with brown ones (the black ones hurt my feet and make me wish for a different pair) and, once in a while, bedroom slippers. :) (I'm not counting snow boots in this census of the shoes in the bottom of my closet, but I will mention that I do have snow boots which I use, obviously, when it snows.)
That's it.
Now that it's summer, I actually have a few more pairs of shoes to choose from. Let's see...there's a pair of black flip-flops given out by the Red Cross for giving blood some years back. I have a pair of brown flip-flops which I make do double duty by acting at times like brown dressy sandals. I have a pair of black sandals which have been around for...well...a long time. Last year I got a pair of cream-colored flats at Walmart. And that's all! Good enough for me. :)
Let me tell you about the brown boots. When I was pregnant with Josiah--let's see, that would be the fall of 2001--I got a pair of brown boots, which I LOVED and wore often. I distinctly remember wearing them when Jeff and I went country line dancing in San Diego one time. There I was, obviously pregnant, kicking up my heels in brown boots which I thought were THE CAT'S MEOW. :) Those boots went with us to Israel, then returned to the States with us, and I continued to wear them often.
As you know, nothing lasts forever, and so it was with those boots. After 12 years of frequent use, they had worn out, and it was time to say goodbye. Here they are, in all their aged glory! :)
This was the main problem...
...the one that made me realize--finally--that it was time to let them go.
So I did! I let them go, then Jeff and I went shopping, during one of our dates, for a new pair of brown boots for me.
We found a pair that I liked and that felt good on my feet (an important consideration--one that is, in fact, getting even more important as I get older--I had been having some recurring pain in my left foot, so I knew I needed to get boots that were actually comfortable). But they cost...oh, I don't know...maybe $80? Jeff would probably remember. :)
Frankly, I was having a hard time feeling OK about spending that much money for shoes. Probably the last time I had shoes that cost that much was when I was in high school and playing basketball on the team. (Wasn't it true that if I got the "good," expensive Nike shoes, my playing would improve overnight??) :) Jeff convinced me to get them, and I'm glad he did. (Because if he hadn't, I would have had to wear just my tennis shoes all winter!) ;-)
Well, now that I've described some areas in which I
do not spend to excess and I
do have healthy limitations in the area of clothing, let me say that there
are ways in which I fall short and in which I'm striving to change to be even more like Jesus in the realm of clothing. I suppose the biggest change during the past few months has been to really assess honestly whether I actually need new clothes or not. When I do, it's fine to get them and to enjoy that (and to not feel guilty, for example, because I needed new jeans because all my other pairs had holes in the knees). I think in all of these areas, as we thoughtfully and gratefully buy what we need, we can be happy about that! No need for guilt trips. :)
But I'll confess that many times, I don't really need the things I think I need. My perception of need is so skewed that what seems to me to be necessities actually becomes a vast pool of stuff that isn't necessary in the least. I want that to change.
So practically, what am I doing in this area to change? Well, I've continued to declutter--which I love to do and am always in the process of doing to some extent. As I do laundry, as I sort through my children's clothing, as I open my drawer of short-sleeved shirts, it's just natural to spot things from time to time that we don't use/need anymore, like I did recently with some of my shirts, then pull those out to be put in a box to drop off at Gift and Thrift.
That's just a part of life. That's easy.
The change I'm seeing that is so much more significant for me at this stage of life is that, when the thought flits into my head, "Oh, we need that! I'll just go right now and write it down on our shopping list," rather than automatically grabbing a pen to write it down, I now (try to always) pause to ask myself, "Are you sure we really need this? Are you certain it should go on the shopping list? Is there a way we can do without it?"
That response of "I think we need this" = "I'll write it on the list" was so quick and automatic that it's actually been surprising to me how much of a challenge it is to go against that.
I'm determined to grow in this area however. My goals are simple: to be content with what I have, to hold with open hands the possessions I do have so that I find it easy to share with others, and to be wise and careful as I make decisions about future clothing purchases.
And also, to never again get carried away by impulse buying at a Kmart going-out-of-business sale! ;-)
One final note: if shoes, for example, were a great love of mine and were a huge temptation area for me, I would feel like I had more to pat myself on the back about. As it is, I hardly care about shoes, so it's easy for me to go all winter alternating between two pairs of shoes. My "restraint" in this area would actually mean something if the love of shoes was stronger in me! So if the love of shoes is strong in you, don't compare yourself to me. All I ask is that you listen for your Master's voice whispering in your ear, telling you what He desires for
your life.
Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, you'll hear His voice encouraging you to drop off a pair of shoes at Gift and Thrift, next time you're in town running errands. ;-)
(This series of posts concludes
here.)
