Talkative Again

A month ago, I was mentioning how uncharacteristically non-talkative I'd been in the month of June.  Tonight I'm noticing that in the month of July, I somehow opened up again and spilled my thoughts a whole lot more!  :)  

Here are the things my friends on Facebook got to read during this past month (and this month, I'm including links to some articles I linked to on FB--mostly so that I'll be able to find them in the future if I want to read or refer to them again!)...

July 2 - A timely reminder to focus on what's truly important!

July 2 - Tobin, as I tucked him into bed tonight: "My best days are in heaven," - a pause, and then, "My second best days are in the summer."

July 3 - The best argument against abortion in cases of rape that I've ever read...

July 3 - Two moments of peace and beauty today that I don't want to forget... One occurred at dusk this evening, while I rode the exercise bike on our porch. I was hearing the sounds of shrieks of laughter from upstairs where David was entertaining Tobin and Shav; at the same time, I was watching Jeff tie up tomato plants in the garden, while beyond him were hundreds of fireflies twinkling in the neighbor's cornfield. Ah, serenity (despite my complaining muscles)!  The other happened a little earlier than that: Moriah's nap schedule was tweaked today to accommodate some family activities, so when suppertime rolled around, she was still sleeping. I went into her room to get her up and paused to watch her sleep before softly saying her name. Her eyelids twitched in response but didn't open. Again, "Moriah." A bigger twitch, but nothing else. Two more times I called "Moriah!" in the sing-song voice I use for her. After the fourth time, her head turned towards me, and she automatically popped her two favorite fingers into her mouth. It still took a little bit longer for her to wake up enough to roll over and look up at me smiling down at her. And then I scooped her up and hugged her. It is a PRECIOUS thing to watch a child sleep...AND, as I discovered this evening, to watch one awake. 

July 4 - *yawn* *stretch* Just woke up from a great nap after the Valley 4th RUN this morning. Boy, was I tired when we got home! Oh...wait...I wasn't the one running the race, so why did I feel so exhausted??  I guess cheering on Josiah in the 5K and David in the mile run was hard work.  At any rate, I wasn't the only one who got sleepy because Shav curled up beside me on the couch and fell asleep, too. A cuddly nap with my youngest son is a wonderful way to spend part of the 4th! 

July 7 - I know I live in the South, y'all, but even still, I am NOT used to a guy maybe half my age calling me "honey"! It wasn't a romantic thing, by any stretch of the imagination; I'm sure that's what he used to greet all the customers coming through the drive-through at Burger King like I was. But it did catch me off guard. Oh, well, all I can think to say is that classic Southern line: "Bless his heart!!"

July 7 - I happened to remember something that occurred earlier this week that made me laugh... I was shelling peas late one night after the kids were in bed. The house was quiet, the cool breeze was coming in the windows, and faithful Jed was sleeping on the floor by my feet...which also happened to be close to the bucket into which I was tossing pea pods, but I was careful to make sure the pods got into the bucket and not onto Jed.  I grabbed a pod however, opened it up, and out shot a pea, quicker than I could grab it. It flew through the air and landed on the side of Jed's face. He shot up and looked around as if to ask, "What in the world just hit me?" Then he got an offended look on his face and trotted a few yards away before settling down again, the length of the kitchen table between him and me. I guess he figured he was safer there.

July 8 - I'm listening to my boys, who are supposed to be eating their lunch, discuss what heaven's going to be like. One of them, who shall remain nameless, just said, "We're going to be in bathrobes WITHOUT UNDERWEAR!" *peals of laughter* Where do they get these ideas from anyway??

July 8 - I used to think that successfully setting up or taking down a playpen required at least four arms, or maybe five--one to simultaneously unlock each of the sides and one to pull up the strap at the bottom, in the case of taking down a playpen. But I'm happy to announce that after 11 years of parenting, I almost always require only one try to get it done right. I think I'll add a line to my resume: "Pretty good at setting up playpens." Impressive, eh?

July 8 - Shav made us laugh at supper tonight. We had black olives (along with our main food of quesadillas); and when there were a few left in the bowl, David wondered if he could eat all the rest. From my place at the stove where I was still making quesadillas, I looked around the table and asked whether everyone had gotten some already...and if so, did they want more before David finished them. When I asked Shav whether he had gotten any yet, he shook his head "no"; but as we looked closer at him, we noticed that he had HUGE chipmunk cheeks. What else could have made those other than the black olives (they were jumbo size)?  When we started laughing, he couldn't help but smile; and as he did, his lips parted and two gigantic olives rolled out. Aha! Caught ya, you little stinker!  Numbers 32:23 says, "Be sure your sin will find you out." It sure did.

July 9 - About a week or so ago, David was sitting at the table eating when suddenly-- "No dental floss!" he shouted. (Can you guess what was going on?) He worked at something for a little while and did not want me to intervene at all. And then he exclaimed, "IT'S OUT!!" (Do you have it figured out yet?)  It was his tooth--his 5th loose tooth. It had been wiggly for a while; but that day when he bit down on some food, it got REALLY loose. I offered to help (the dental floss around the tooth and then give a good yank trick is my favorite modus operandi), but he would have none of it.  He was quite proud of his tooth when it came out and often looked at the window sill where I put it to make sure it was still there. I knew he was excited about it; but I didn't realize just how much that tooth meant to him until he asked a while later in a concerned voice, "If we had a house fire, would it devour my tooth?" Losing a tooth is a BIG DEAL!

July 10 - Not for the first time did I thank God today for a violin teacher who is patient and compassionate. In lessons today, she had the dubious pleasure of listening to one of my sons perform what must surely have been his worst ever rendition of Gavotte by Gossec; and then, when the other son was playing Gavotte in G Minor by Bach, he started weeping! I looked up and, lo and behold, tears were rolling down his face! But he kept playing, all the way to the end, despite his tears. Well, seeing that, there was no way I could keep from letting a few tears roll down my face, too! Wouldn't want him to cry alone, you know.  Goodness, what a lesson! And through it all, kind Megan (of Tiller Strings) sat there calmly and patiently. I'm very grateful for her!! 

July 10 - What is true love? I'll tell you. It's when a man pulls ticks off his dog at 11:00 at night--not so much because he loves his dog, but because he loves his wife, and she has a hard (read: impossible) time getting them off by herself! 

July 10 - Related to my previous status update: if you find a tick on your dog, you will immediately feel hundreds of them (ticks, not dogs) crawling all over yourself. You will be compelled to do one of two things: take a shower at once and spend an extra long time shampooing your scalp, or ask your spouse numerous times to examine bumps on your back/neck/head/etc. that you never noticed before but now you're suddenly convinced that they're ticks!

July 11 - The boys are playing in the living room for a few minutes before we start afternoon quiet time, and Tobin and Shav were getting ready to do something together when David rode by on a bike. "We're going to play Jump Over a Pillow!" Tobin shouted. "And you play by jumping over a pillow!" Shav added. David's response: "Oh. Well, the name sort of explains that." *cue laughter*

July 11 - Wise words I need to remember... "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

July 11 - It was a dark and stormy night, and the Fishers went to Dairy Queen. Why did we go there? Because shortly after we finished school this spring, we decided to give our boys a physical fitness challenge to combat summer boredom: if they biked 1,000 laps (up and down our driveway), we would take them out for ice cream. We also did the same kind of challenge for running laps around the house: do 1,000, and we'll go get ice cream. This morning Josiah counted the tally marks on the chart on the side of our refrigerator and discovered that they had done 965 biking laps--so close to 1,000! He headed outside to do 20 laps and David did 15, and they were done!! Well, Jeff and I had to keep our end of the bargain, so after they all got in their pajamas tonight, we loaded up in the Big White Van and went through the drive-through for ice cream at Dairy Queen (their choice). It was such a cozy feeling to come home through the rain, tummies full of a sweet treat, pajamas already on, knowing that we have a warm, dry home to return to and soft beds in which to sleep. Most of all, knowing that we have each other...and together, we make a good team.

July 15 - Conversation with David just now, as I carried Moriah up to bed after she and David spent most of afternoon quiet time playing together...
D: Do you think we'll ever have another baby?Me: Well, I'd like to! But I don't know if God will give us one or not.D: Which do you want it to be: a boy or a girl?Me: I really don't have a preference; either one would be wonderful!D: I won't be offended if you say "girl."
Me (deciding to change the subject slightly, knowing that no matter how many times I say "it doesn't matter to me," David will still press me for an answer!): Which would you like to have?
D: A boy!
Me: Why?
D: I don't want to have to love another girl. I want to focus all my love on one girl!

Moriah is BLESSED to have such a brother who wants to focus all his love on her.

July 16 - As I was helping Shav get his pajamas on just now, he started wiggling his fingers as if to tickle me, but then he stopped, knowing that tickling Mommy is a big no-no. He tilted his head a little and asked, "Why don't you like tickling?" "I just don't," was my profound answer.  "Some people do, and some people don't." He then explained to me that he likes to be tickled by me and by Daddy, because "you tickle me when you love me." Aha! I love getting these little insights into how the minds of my sons work! Note to self: tickle Shav more. 

July 18 - In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is bemoaning the fact that the Israelites had forsaken God and had actually gone so far as to kill the prophets, the people who had been especially devoted to God. "I am the only one left," he wails to God, "and now they are trying to kill me, too." Among the other words God uses to comfort/challenge him, He says this: "Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel--all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him." This morning I'm thanking God for those in this time and place who continue to be faithful to Him and whose knees have not bowed to the Baals of this day and age!

July 18 - You know what's great about having a three-year-old in the house? He's awestruck when he asks me to count to 30 and I can actually do it! His "you can count really good, Mom!" compliment to me as we sat together on the swing this evening while he sucked on his pineapple popsicle made me smile big. 

July 19 - Somebody here in our house is turning four tomorrow, and that same somebody has been counting down the days until his birthday with great anticipation. "I'm so egg-ited (excited) about my birf-day!" he's exclaimed numerous times during the past several weeks.  Tonight I was admonishing him to stay in his bed and go to sleep so that the night would seem to go fast and his birthday would be here, and he grinned and said, "Maybe God will make it go as fast as a motorcycle or race car!!" Oh, my sweet Shav, these four years we've been given with you seem to me like they've gone by as fast as a motorcycle or race car! Shav's delight tonight about his upcoming birthday was offset by Tobin's tears. He sobbed (loudly, in true Tobin fashion) and when asked why he was crying, he replied, "Because I'll never see him 3 again!" And then quickly added (because he knew my first response would be to say that we have pictures to remember the three-year-old Shav by), "Outside of the camera!"  I can tend to be a little nostalgic, too, (understatement perhaps?) and feel like I'm going to dearly miss the three-year-old boy we've enjoyed during this past year, but you know what? I have a feeling the four-year-old Shav will be even better. 

July 22 - While the eyes of the world are watching the gate of Buckingham Palace for the news of the birth of William and Kate's baby, my own heart is beating fast in anticipation of the news of another birth: sweet Analora, granddaughter of my friend Sheryl! I can hardly wait to hear the good news and see a picture of that beloved, long-awaited little girl! Today I'm reminded that each baby, whether royalty or not, is PRECIOUS in the eyes of God who made them all! 

July 22 - I might not have many people in this world who consider me to be funny, but I know a certain 15-month-old who thinks I'm hilarious. I'm pretty talented at making HER laugh, if I do say so myself. This afternoon, all it took to crack her up was getting down on the floor with her, sticking my tongue out, waiting for her to reach out and touch it, and then jerking it back in while saying "ah!" It made her laugh every time. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S, I tell ya!

July 22 - I was shampooing Tobin's hair in the bathtub just now, and I mentioned to him that his hair was getting long and that maybe when he goes out for breakfast with Daddy the next time, he'll get a haircut. He said, "I want it short...just like David's!" Not to be outdone, Shav piped up to say that he wanted a haircut, too; and then he gave specific instructions: "I want it short...just like Grandpa's!"  If you know my dad, you know you can't get much shorter than that. 

July 26 - If you're traveling west of Harrisonburg on 33 today and want to make some sweet little boys happy, stop by our lemonade/cookie stand and check out what we've got for sale! You'll make their day: guaranteed!  Proceeds go towards Josiah's upcoming trips with the Shenandoah Valley Children's Choir! (And while you're at it, check out our Old Order Mennonite neighbor's produce wagon - they've got great, FRESH stuff!)  

July 26 - I love to laugh!  This link helped me do it...  :)

July 26 - You know what warmed my heart today? Two teenage guys who pulled up in their pick-up truck, got out, and came over to our stand, dollar bill in hand, for two cups of cold lemonade. I don't know them, and they didn't buy anything from our neighbor's produce stand (where most of our customers have come from). But God bless 'em for coming by and encouraging my boys (and me!). It made me wonder whether those two young men had ever been little boys sitting at their own lemonade stand, wondering whether anyone would ever come and buy something!!

July 27 - This is actually something that Jeff posted on his FB, but I'm including it here because it makes me laugh.  :)  So, my buddy ol' pal Christopher Myers and his wife Misty Myers decided to head north for the weekend and asked us to watch the dog. Well, I said, if she does not mind sleeping in the fenced pasture with our other two dogs that will be fine. Settled...so I thought. Then came the barking, barking, barking at 10pm. That does not make for friendly neighbors says Davene Fisher and so we brought one of my dogs and "Honey" inside...because our dog would be crazy jealous if we just brought in the Myer's dog. So, they are in... and immediate jealous rivalry begins... so, we decide our dog must go outside after all....Jed goes up... no barking...problem solved...not quite. We have gates on our steps for the kids... and Jed never goes up or down the steps... we like it that way... but as I ascend the steps, what do we hear? Whining.... honey is quite a spoiled mutt and decides that she must be where we are and ends up sleeping in our room! (Something I have not allowed any animal to during the whole course of my marriage!) Hmmm... so 6am comes and I put Honey in the pasture again... a little barking happens, but I figure...its day now.... off to work I go... til now, I hear that Honey escaped....in the rain...begged to get in the neighbors house (Old Order Mennonites)... Wilma calls, "Do you know anything about this friendly dog?" So... poor Davene, in her pajamas, tending to feverish Moriah, must go over and collect sopping wet and dirt Honey to bring back into our house! Chris.....you owe me big time!
To this I left the following comment: Two clarifications: Honey jumped up onto my side of the bed two times. And I did change out of my pajamas before I went over to get Honey.
Two days later I posted this photo and comment on Chris's timeline (this is the Chris, by the way, who left the little "gift" on our doorstep on the 4th of July):  Thanks SO much...ahem...for giving us the "privilege"...cough, cough...of taking care of this beauty for you this weekend!  ‪#‎nexttimeasksomeoneelse‬    Seriously though, she is a VERY sweet dog. Might be good to have a Boundaries 101 lesson with her though.  

July 29 - This morning the phone rang and I answered it, then handed the phone to Josiah while saying, "It's your stockbroker." "Hi, Dad!" he said into the phone. And then I heard him say, "Really???" A pause and then, "Yeah, sell it!!" They talked for a minute or two longer; and then before Josiah hung up, he said, "Thanks, Dad, for helping me. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you!" He raced up the stairs to where I was and whooped, "My stock doubled!! That was my goal all along!" Would someone please remind me how old he is? 11, you say? Are you sure he's really that old, or did he suddenly grow up by a decade the last time I blinked? It's for real though: Josiah had bought some stock (real money, real stock), and it did indeed double. Now he has $198 to figure out what to do with. So far the plan, which has been much discussed since that phone call, involves using $100 to invest again, $20 to give to God, $18 to give to his Shenandoah Valley Children's Choir trip fund, and $60 to spend. David, whose future occupation might well be Personal Shopper because of his penchant for helping people spend their money, is suggesting that Josiah might want to buy a Lord of the Rings LEGO set. What actually happens with that money remains to be seen. 

July 29 - Last evening Josiah was reading some posts on my blog from several years ago, and he noticed that I referred to the Myers-Briggs personality test. Of course he wanted to do it, so I found a free online version of it for him, and he took it. And then David wanted to take it, too, so he did. I realize that, at only 11 and 8 years of age respectively, their personalities are still developing, so I expect their results may change somewhat in the future. However, as of last night, one of my boys was INTJ and one was ESFP - complete opposites. Wanna guess which one was which?   ;-)

In the Good Old Summertime

That old song has been running through my head so often these days.  What old song, you ask?  This one.  :)



Because these days of beauty and peace are summertime.  And they are good.

**********

In the summertime, we find new ways to relax.

But we also work - together - which makes even time-consuming jobs like preserving food go much more quickly and in a much more enjoyable way than working alone would!

 On the morning of Shav's birthday, for example, we worked on canning green beans; the birthday boy was a happy helper.  :)

 In the summertime, we welcome Aunt Helen, my Chicago aunt, to our home...and we even give her a place at the table as we work on our summer projects (just like we did last year).  :)

But we don't make her work all the time.  We gave her, during her most recent visit, a little time off to enjoy our pool!  ;-)

...and to play some games of Scrabble Slam with Josiah and David.

Summer is a wonderful time to practice walking the balance beam between the extremes of too much work and too much play.  :)

**********

Well, since that song is still swirling through my head, how about another rendition of it?  :)

Wordless Wednesday {Too Bad the Corn Is So Short This Year} ;-)

Moriah in the Evening

To me, she is always beautiful.

But tonight, as we enjoyed a pleasant Sunday evening outside together, she seemed even more beautiful than usual.

Maybe it was the light.

Maybe it was her silly grin.

Maybe it was the curls in the back of her hair.

Maybe it was her starfish hands.

Maybe it was the love.  (I tried to take a picture of the two of us while I held her on my lap.  I stretched my arm out as far as I could and *click*.  You can see how successful I was.  I need a longer arm--and better aim.)  ;-)

If Moriah had been a little older and I had been able to teach her a character lesson tonight, it would have been this:  "There will always be some people--myself included!--who think your appearance is beautiful.  But oh my dear Moriah, your beauty has much less to do with what is on the outside...and much more to do with what is on the inside.  Take care of your inside, my sweet girl...

...Take care of the inside!"

A Boy's First Lessons in Business...

...are perhaps best learned while manning a lemonade stand.

 My boys got to experience this today...

 ...although they weren't really earning money for themselves.

 Josiah's been raising money for upcoming trips with his children's choir...

 ...and today we got to add $27.60 to his fund (which is honestly more than I expected to make off of some cookies and lemonade)!  :)

And my boys learned an important lesson: the more lemonade you drink yourself, the less money you make.

Because nobody pays you if you drink your own lemonade.  ;-)

My New Favorite Picture of Jeff

He works hard to provide for us and care for us in so many ways.

He deserves a break every now and then.  ;-)

The Birth Story of My Firstborn

Like untold numbers of moms around the world, I had a major case of baby-on-the-brain three days ago.  Not only was I--along with millions of others--keeping my ears open for news coming from London about the birth of Prince William and Kate's baby, I was also checking Facebook as often as I could to see if there was any news from my dear friend Sheryl about the birth of her first grandchild, a little girl named Analora.  :)  By the end of the day, I had read of the safe arrival of both precious babies, and then I could relax a little.  :) 

All of those baby thoughts made me recall my own experiences when each of my children were born--such special memories!  But I realized again that my written record of those births was incomplete.  Eleven years, one month, and twelve days ago, I gave birth to my firstborn; and as astonishing as it may seem with my proclivity to write a lot and {try to} record all the details of momentous occasions, I never actually wrote out his birth story.  Unacceptable, isn't it?  ;-)

All of his siblings have their birth stories recorded for posterity; and as a matter of fact, the more children I have, the longer the birth stories get!  I just don't want any snippet of information to be lost!  :)  David's is here.  Tobin's is here in Part One, Part Two, and Part Three, with pictures in three parts, too (One, Two, and Three).  Shav also got a Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.  With Moriah, it took even more parts to tell her story: One, Two, Three, Four, and Five!  :)

But now, it's Josiah's turn.  I'm more than a decade late; but if my mind can reach back into the shadowy regions of those memories, I'll try to write down what I can about that phenomenal event!  :)

Josiah was due on a Friday, June 14th.  As his due date approached, I wondered, as probably all first time moms do, how I would know that it was time.  I knew that obviously, at some point before the baby popped out, I would know what was going on!  :)  But I really wasn't sure that I would know what a contraction felt like because, despite the efforts of other mothers to describe them, I wasn't certain that I would recognize them when they started happening.

On Wednesday evening of that week, we went to our church's normal midweek meeting, and I'm sure I was asked all the questions that a woman at the end of her pregnancy is asked--are you still here? how much longer do you have?--not to mention the comments--you look like the baby has dropped, not much longer now--and so forth.  But I was grateful for the love and excitement that our friends expressed; it was fun to share the joy in that way.  :)

After the service, we went to Denny's with four other couples; they were some of our closest friends and some of the leaders that helped us in the work of the ministry in that congregation in Imperial Beach, California.  We were grateful, not only for their partnership in the Gospel, but also for the friendships we had with them.  It was always fun to hang out with them!  

On this night, the guys were sitting in one booth, and the girls were sitting in another; and as I sat there with Maggie, Liberty, Tina, and Bobbielynn, I felt so uncomfortable.  I felt extremely cramped, like I just couldn't get enough room to breathe and stretch and be comfortable!  I thought it was because we were sitting in a booth; and with people beside me, I couldn't really expand.  ;-)  It was fairly late in the evening, but I went ahead and ordered grits to eat--they just sounded really good to me!  :)  One of the topics of conversation, of course, was my fast-approaching due date; and I admitted to the girls that I wasn't at all sure what a contraction felt like and how would I know when labor began?  The two women in that group who had previously given birth got that certain look on their faces and sagely said, "Oh, you'll know."  

Little did I--or they--know that I was actually having contractions right then.  :)

To the best of my remembrance, Jeff and I got home around 11:30 or so and went to bed soon after.  He went to sleep (he's blessed with an amazing ability, inherited from his mother, to almost instantly fall asleep when he decides it's time to do so!).  :)  But I laid awake, and gradually it dawned on me, as I paid attention to the sensations in my body, that I just might be having contractions and that the discomfort I had been feeling at the restaurant was the beginning of labor!  What really convinced me that that's what it was was not the way it felt, but the rhythm of it.  (Totally irrelevant, but noteworthy to a grammar nerd: isn't that sentence so interesting because of its use of "that that's" and "was was"??)  :)  As I watched the clock, I realized that there was a pattern.  Wow!  This must be labor!!!

The pain was not bad at all, but I was way too excited to sleep, so I laid there for a while in bed, knowing that I should rest up for the adventure that awaited.  I didn't wake Jeff because I wanted him to be able to get some sleep before the big event, and I knew it would probably take quite a while.  At some point, I went quietly downstairs to get a little snack (I think I ate some crackers); and I wish I could clearly remember what happened next, but I really don't.  I assume that I went back upstairs and woke up Jeff, but it's possible that he woke up on his own and found me downstairs.  That moment of looking at him and telling him, "it's time!" is lost in a void in my brain!

I do remember that I took a shower and found the water to be wonderfully soothing.  I stayed in there a while, shaving my legs (very important early-labor task, right?)  ;-) and telling Jeff when another contraction was coming.  He dutifully wrote all the times down and recorded the intervals.  I know that during that period of my life, a song that had been particularly meaningful to me was Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, and it's possible that I sang that song while I showered...or maybe simply thought about the words.

The big question in our minds was when to go to the hospital.  I knew that first-time labors are often quite long and that it's not unusual for first-time moms to show up at the hospital thinking that they were further along than they really were.  I did NOT want to do that, so I was leaning towards the stay-at-home-longer side of the fence.  However, the contractions were definitely picking up in intensity; and I recall leaning against the side of our bed (obviously after I got out of the shower) and focusing on my breathing in order to stay on top of the contractions, which were at that point occurring from two minutes apart to four minutes apart.  They never settled into an exact pattern, but they were coming pretty close together.

My mom had come to stay with us and was sleeping in a room down the hall; but I think she woke up and, hearing the commotion in our room, came in and discovered that it was go time!  :)  We called my dad in Virginia to let him know what was happening and to get his advice about whether we should head to the hospital; and I believe that when he heard that I was at the point of needing to breathe through contractions, he was certain that we should proceed to the hospital.  :)

It was oh-so-exciting but rather strange, too, to drive through the dark of that early morning (I'm not sure, but I would guess we went to the hospital in the 3:00-4:00 a.m. range of time) on nearly-deserted streets to the hospital.  I recorded in my pregnancy journal: "The drive normally takes about 15 minutes, but Jeff drove really slowly so it took longer than that."  :)

I remember pulling up to the entrance of the hospital and Jeff letting me and my mom get out before he went to park the car; I stood there in the chilly pre-dawn clutching my pillow and longing for Jeff to return.  Like many new moms do, I had over-prepared and had packed much more than I really needed: a stereo to play music, an exercise ball for laboring on, a back massager, and so much more.  There was no way we could carry it all in one trip so (skipping ahead in the story) after we got settled in a room, Jeff said that he would run back out to the car and get the rest; but I DID NOT WANT HIM TO LEAVE.  As in all of my labors, his presence was a ROCK for me; and I suddenly knew that having him was much more important than having an exercise ball...and this baby would just have to be born without any music from my stereo which was still in the car!  

So many of the details of this time are foggy, but I do recall feeling a great sense of relief when my dilation was checked and I was found to be far enough along to stay in the hospital.  I wish I could remember how far along I was--I'm guessing 4 centimeters?--but at any rate, it was enough to keep me from being sent home.  I rejoiced.  :)

It seems to me that soon after we got there, they had a shift change of nurses.  The first one we had had, who did the preliminary stuff, didn't seem the most compassionate and caring to me, so I wasn't sorry to see her go; maybe she was tired from a long night.  Her replacement, on the other hand, was so wonderful that if I were to meet her now, I would want to give her a gigantic hug and tell her again how grateful I am for her kindness!  :)  Her name was Stephanie, and she was a treasure.  :)

(An aside: I wonder if labor & delivery nurses really have a sense of how vitally important their role is.  They are part of one of the most significant events in the life of a woman, and chances are good that she'll remember them for the rest of her life.  Whenever she tells her child's birth story, she'll think of--and possibly mention--that nurse.  What becomes so routine to labor & delivery nurses is anything but to the new mothers; and those nurses, who usually spend quite a bit more time with the laboring mother than the doctor does, are truly a huge part of that birth event.)

I should probably go ahead and mention that I was hoping to have a natural, no-pain-meds delivery.  I was inspired by my very good friend Carolyn to try to be a "pioneer woman" and skip the epidural.  :)  I did realize, however, that because I had absolutely no idea how much pain I would have and what it would feel like, it was really difficult to be adamant about not getting an epidural.  Jeff knew that I was hoping for a natural birth, but also knew that I wasn't determined enough about it to want him to prevent me from getting an epidural if I felt like I needed it.  My attitude wasn't "no matter how much I scream and beg for an epidural, DON'T let me get one!"  It was more like "please support me in whatever I say in the moment"...and Jeff did.  :)

As the morning went along, I found that I could manage labor fairly well, with the help of...

~ encouraging words from Jeff and my mom,

~ hand massages from Jeff using some new apple-scented lotion I had bought specifically for this occasion,

~ a rocking chair that I spent hours in,

~ a popsicle that was fairly tart,

~ focusing inward (some women use an object to focus on, such as a picture of someone in their family or a gift for the new baby; but for me, the focus had to be inward),

~ concentrating on my breathing (the childbirth classes I took--as well as books and articles I read--had helped prepare me for that), and

~ preparing mentally in the short break between contractions for the pain of the next one.

I was feeling pain, to be sure (after all, I hadn't read the book Supernatural Childbirth yet)  ;-), but it wasn't overwhelming.

At some point, my dilation was checked and found to be 8.  I can't remember if it had been checked before that (not counting the check when I first arrived at the hospital) or not, but I do remember that one check showed me to be at 8, which was very encouraging.  I continued to labor as I had been; and although I had previously thought I'd like to walk the halls to keep labor moving along, I discovered that the rocking chair was really the most comfortable place for me.  The exercise ball was still in the car so I never got the chance to try that!  ;-)

After more time had passed, I asked to be checked again, because surely I must have progressed!  I think the nurse or whoever did the check showed a little hesitation, probably knowing that it hadn't really been that long since I'd been checked and that I probably hadn't changed much.  But the check was done, and the result?  Still an 8.

That's when I lost it.

The mental focus that gave me the ability to ride the waves of pain without sinking under them was instantly gone.  I was in trouble, and I knew it.  The discouragement that came from knowing my dilation hadn't changed doomed my plan for a medicine-free birth.

I asked for an epidural.

(Disclaimer: there is NOTHING wrong with an epidural.  If you're reading this and you got an epidural and you feel like I'm putting down women who do, please stop thinking that right now!!  :)  With Josiah, as you'll read in a second, I got one; and with Shav, I longed for one but never got a chance to have it because it took the nurses so long to find a vein and get an IV started for me.  So I am NOT anti-epidural, and I do NOT feel holier-than-thou because I've given birth naturally!)  :)

And then I waited.  

The guy who was giving epidurals that day was apparently pretty busy because it took him a LONG time (it seemed to me) to make it to my room.  As a matter of fact, by the time he got there, my dilation was at 9 and a half!  Looking back, of course I think it was crazy to go ahead and get it; but at the time, there was nothing I wanted more than to have a taste of sweet relief.

That's pretty much all I got, as it turned out.  A taste.  But before I write more about that, let me mention something that Jeff reminded me of yesterday.  When the anesthesiologist was getting ready to stick me for the epidural, Jeff was in front of me, but my mother was behind me and to the side.  He warned her that she might not want to watch me getting a needle stuck into my spine, but she reassured him that she would be fine and that she was married to a doctor and was used to such things, etc.

But then - can you guess what happened? - she started getting woozy, and the nurses had to bring a chair for her to sit down in until she could recover!  So much for her bravado!  ;-)

Well, after I got the epidural, I did find some relief from the pain, and I was extremely grateful for that.  However, the relief did not last, and I don't know if the epidural wasn't inserted right, or if it wasn't "programmed" to keep pumping the pain medicine, or if my body just didn't receive it like some women's bodies do.  But for whatever reason, after a time, the pain again began to build up until it was, quite frankly, excruciating.  

Also, once I got the epidural, it was basically time to push.  Somewhere in here, I believe the doctor broke my water (I think Jeff watched him do it with something that looked sort of like a crochet hook,  but maybe that's David's labor I'm thinking of); and when the fluid came out, we discovered that it had meconium in it.  I don't remember being particularly concerned about it because I'd read enough to know that it wasn't uncommon for that to happen.  But it was a factor to be watched to make sure Josiah stayed healthy, during and after delivery.  But back to the pushing...

Of course I couldn't be in any kind of an upright position because of the epidural, so there I was, lying flat on my back, with Jeff holding one leg (and Stephanie the other?), trying to push this baby that I loved more than life out of my body.

And not succeeding very well.

I hesitate to place blame on anyone for my inability, but I will timidly suggest that the childbirth instructor (whom I liked very much otherwise!) who filled in for our normal instructor on the night pushing was discussed set me up with some false expectations.  I remember her being a cheerleader type and saying something to the effect of "pushing isn't hard! you can give two or three pushes, and that baby will be out!!"

Not so.  At least, not with this first-time mother.

After two or three pushes, Josiah was still so far inside me that I doubt he'd even budged from his cozy little nest.  Pushing was hard.  Pushing was long.  Pushing was discouraging.

I pushed for about two and a half hours, most of that time without feeling any benefit from the epidural (maybe it was helping some, but if so, I sure didn't realize it!).  As much as I disliked being myself at that point in time, I would have also disliked being Jeff or my mom because they had to stand there helplessly and watch me!  They were so supportive though and endlessly uplifting.  What would I have done without them?

One technique which the nurses used to try to encourage me during this time was angling a mirror so that I could catch a glimpse of the top of Josiah's head, but that didn't help a bit.  Again, my focus had to be inward, not outward; and I believe I probably did most of this laboring/pushing with my eyes closed.  (I have since learned from my other labors that until that time comes, you just really don't know what will be the key that will help the most.  Sometimes you just have to try different things until you find what works in that situation and at that time!)  I think I was still using some of the breathing patterns we had practiced in our childbirth classes, but I have no idea which ones!  

By this point, I was beginning to feel a sense of delirium which continued until after the birth.  It almost felt like an out-of-body experience--like I was floating above and looking down on myself, but was unable to control what I said and did.  Strange.  Very, very strange.  

Eventually, of course, I did make progress with the pushing, and Josiah was almost ready to be born.  And then - would you believe it? - the doctor (Dr. Atiga), whose office was literally right across the street from the hospital, wasn't there yet!  He had come by earlier and checked on me before his office hours started.  But when I was ready to finally push Josiah out, he was still in his office seeing patients!  I made a note in Josiah's baby book (from which I'm drawing quite a bit of these recollections) that I told Stephanie, the nurse, that SHE could deliver the baby.  As you can imagine, I did not want to wait any longer.  After hearing "push! push!" for so long, to now hear "don't push! don't push!" was odd!  :)

Finally the doctor came...and, thanks be to God, Josiah was born.

I have no words to convey the splendor of that moment and the depth of love that surged in my heart.  I'm sitting here trying to think of what to say, and I can't.  You'll just have to imagine; and if you're a mom and have gone through this yourself, I'm sure you won't have any trouble doing so.

Here are the matter-of-fact stats:  He was born at 11:23 a.m. (so my labor lasted around 12 hours, although it's really hard to say for sure because I was having those early contractions without knowing it...but I would say that for about 11 and a half hours, I was conscious of being in labor) on Thursday, June 13, 2002.  His weight was 7 lbs, 14 oz, which I was thrilled to hear because I had thought that having a baby in the 7 pound range would be ideal.  :)  He was 21 inches long with a head measurement of 36 centimeters.  He was born in room 333.  :)  His eyes were dark blue, his hair was light brown.  We couldn't find any birthmarks.  He had long fingers, big feet (the nurses commented on them right away) ;-), a peaches and cream complexion.  He was perfect.

Because of the meconium, Josiah was not placed on my chest immediately, but was taken over to be checked and have his lungs suctioned out right away (I hope I'm using the right terminology...whatever they were doing had to do with the meconium and their concern that he would have gotten some of it into his lungs which might cause infection, if I understand correctly).  I don't think Jeff cut the cord, but I might be completely mistaken about that.  

Honestly, I don't think I minded.  My birth plan, which I'm sure had included things like "would like to have soft music playing" and "would like to be in an upright position for pushing" and "would like to have husband cut the cord" and "would like to have skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth" went flying out the window basically as soon as we arrived at the hospital; and by that point, I didn't care what happened, as long as the baby was born and was safe and healthy.

And he was.

Healthy.  Safe.  Born!  

Ours.

In Josiah's baby book, in answer to the question "The first thing Father said when you were born," Jeff wrote, "I do not remember what I said, but I do remember looking at your mom and watching as both of us shed tears of joy and fascination--you are an incredible miracle from God, and we love you so much!"

My response to "The first thing Mother said when you were born" was not as poetic.  I wrote, "I can't remember what the first thing was; but I do remember you grabbing my finger when you were brought over to me for the first time, and I commented on how strong your grip was.  Then I thought to myself, 'What a dumb thing to say!  Of all the special and significant things I could say right now, why did I say that?'"  :)

Jeff mentioned my tears.  I think they started as soon as our son was born and didn't stop for the next four weeks!  :)  I was a weepy woman, for sure--happier than I had ever been, but unable to turn off the faucet of my eyes!  :)

I did not know that, during labor, our very dear friends Jeff and Lisa Chacon had come to the hospital and were waiting there with us.  Jeff C. sat in the waiting room and worked on his Father's Day sermon (Father's Day was three days away) until I had Josiah, and then he got to come in and see the new baby (that's Stephanie, our wonderful nurse, with Josiah, by the way)...

...and Lisa, unbeknownst to me, had actually been standing outside my room door while I was laboring.  What a faithful friend!  I was thrilled to see them (as well as the other visitors who came to meet our new son).  :)

I was so paranoid that someone would try to steal Josiah or that he would get mixed up with another baby, so I was relieved that all the medical procedures and bathing, etc. were done while he was in the room with us.  I did NOT want to let that baby out of my sight!  :)

I had Josiah on Thursday and came home on Saturday.  Jeff spent at least the first night with me on that blue cot they brought in for him.  Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but I don't think he minded too much.  :)

I remember that a few hours after the birth, Jeff went to a nearby farmer's market, since it was Thursday and we had made almost a weekly ritual of going to that farmer's market every Thursday during my pregnancy.  He came back to the room with lots of delicious, fresh fruit, and I was so grateful for that!  :)

This time with Josiah was precious beyond my ability to describe.  But on a less lofty level, my body was in pain.  It hurt to sit down, lay down, roll over in bed, or do anything.  When I needed to sit in a chair, I would carefully place a pillow or two on it first, then gingerly lower myself onto it to try to minimize the pain.  Because I tore and had an episiotomy, I had some serious discomfort for quite a long time afterwards.  When David was born, I had MUCH less pain and could be up and around and feeling good very soon after birth.  When I watched the other mothers who were in the maternity ward of the Tel Aviv hospital with me after David was born (there was a big room with rocking chairs where many of us gathered to nurse our babies, so I got to see lots of other new moms there), I could sympathize with the ones who moved so slowly and sat so carefully on pillows and were doing all the things I had had to do after Josiah's birth!

When Saturday morning came and we were preparing to be released from the hospital, it was a little bit of a hectic time.  There were some videos I was supposed to watch about postpartum recovery, infant care, and so forth; and I remember that a nurse had rolled a TV and VCR into my room and turned those on.  But meanwhile, my friend Carolyn (who had driven all the way from Arizona to come visit us!) and her teenage son John were there in the room; and it was a little embarrassing to be hearing about "episiotomy incision" and "breast tenderness" and other such things with a young man in the room!  ;-)  Plus, I just wanted to spend time with my friends, not watch videos about things that I had already read a huge quantity of information about!  :)

Eventually the time came for me to dress Josiah in his own clothes so we could take him home.  I think Jeff had gone to get the car pulled around to the entrance or something like that because I believe I was alone when I started dressing Josiah.  And then the tears came.  In force.  Without stopping.

I cried as I put his clothes on.  I cried as we were wheeled out of the room.  I cried down the hall.  I cried when we stopped at the nurses station to say "thank you" and "goodbye" to Stephanie.  I cried in the elevator.  I cried while being wheeled out to our car.  I cried when I saw our friend Mike Bibalo and one of his daughters; they were coming to visit us and just happened to get there to the hospital entrance as we were leaving.  As a matter of fact, we got him to take some pictures of us, none of which are posted here because I look terrible in them!  :)

(Another aside: when I saw how beautiful Kate looked holding the newborn prince in her arms, I thought, "Oh dear, if I had had to leave the hospital after Josiah was born while being watched by thousands or millions of people, I would have had a break-down!  I would have had to just stay and cry in my room and hope that everybody would go away!"  :)  Also, I've seen Kate's lingering baby bump mentioned on Facebook and other places, and I was reminded that I had NO IDEA I would have such a large one remaining after Josiah was born.  To still look six months pregnant when it was time to leave the hospital was NOT something I was expecting at all!)  

When I see the picture above, I think it's a wonder Josiah didn't die of heatstroke on the way home.  It was June in southern California; but we bundled him up with his regular clothes, a hat, a fleece blanket, and a crocheted blanket to bring him home!  He wasn't cold, that's for sure!  ;-)

On the way home, Jeff drove, Josiah was in the middle of the back seat, and I sat in the front seat with Jeff.  I remember wanting to guard against the tendency to make the child the center of life, to the exclusion of the husband, so I thought that sitting beside Jeff would set a good direction for our parenting journey.  :)  I did, however, often turn around to check on Josiah.  :)

Then the sweet (but still emotional!) days of settling in came.

We learned how to bathe him, clothe him, feed him, change him, and swaddle him.  We learned what his cries meant and how to comfort him.  We learned that life would never be the same again.

It would be so much better.

Why?

Because we were now a family - of three!!!  :)