Moriah's Story, Part Three

Part One is here.
Part Two is here.

Once we knew that we were definitely staying at the hospital, two questions arose:  how to get labor going a little more intensely and how to fill the time until the action really stepped up.  Ann, the midwife, had a few suggestions for how to answer the first question--for example, "I'm going to irritate your cervix," she said.  And that was about as pleasant as it sounds!  ;-)  I'm glad I don't have to do that every day.  Oh, the things we go through to bring forth these precious offspring!!  :)

Before we had even left our house to go to the hospital, I had the thought in the back of my head that, if there was enough time at the hospital before Moriah was born, I really wanted to spend some time in water--either a shower or a bath in the jacuzzi tub.  When Arlene suggested that she fill the tub for me, it didn't take me long to agree; and I gratefully sank into the warm, soothing, bubbling water.  Hospital protocol demands that someone stay in the room with the patient in the tub, so Jeff sat in the bathroom with me.  We talked for a little bit, but then he grew quiet.  He had put his head down on the counter and fallen asleep.  ;-)  I didn't wake him, nor did I alert Arlene to the fact that the person who was supposed to be watching me to make sure I was OK had fallen asleep on the job.  ;-)  The only thing I would have changed about that time was making the water a little deeper in the tub.  I couldn't get all of my body under the water at the same time, and the parts of me that stuck out above the water got chilly!  :)

When the timer went off and the bubbling action stopped, I got out; and I think Arlene hooked me up again to the monitors to see how Moriah was doing and if my contractions had gotten more intense...but I can't remember for sure.  I do know that every hour, she had to monitor me for about 20 minutes; I didn't mind being hooked up to the monitors, as long as I could be sitting up in a rocking chair during that time.  I think after that, Jeff and I walked the halls again; and during that walk, there were a couple of times when a contraction would grip me and I would have to pause to focus on them and get through them.  But goodness, they were still not bad at all!  By God's grace, my mental and spiritual preparation was so good going into this labor that I really wasn't surprised that my contractions were quite easy.  I just hoped they were doing some good and bringing me closer to meeting my beloved daughter!  :)

I suppose it was about 7:00 AM when we found ourselves at the end of one segment of activity and ready for another one.  That's when Arlene spoke up and suggested that she tuck us all into bed.  ;-)  She knew we were tired--all three of us: Jeff, my mom, and me--and she thought getting some rest would do me good. That sounded like a great idea at that point--not only because I was indeed tired, but also because I was so concerned that I had made everybody wake up much earlier than I should have and I wished that I could give them more rest.  Arlene initially suggested that my mom sleep in a bed in another room, since there were plenty of empty rooms that night.  But then she brought a recliner into my room, and my mom slept in that so we could all stay together.  Jeff was on the fold-out couch, and I was in the bed, of course.  I don't think it took long for any of us to fall asleep, but some of us slept longer than others.  ;-)  But before I continue with that...

This labor was the first labor I've ever had in which the bed was my friend.  In none of my other labors was I helped by being in the bed; instead, I've always preferred to be standing, rocking, sitting on a birthing chair, or somehow being upright.  I won't go into details about the bad bed experiences I've had while giving birth to my sons, but I'll just say that it was enough to make me dread the bed.  All of that changed, however, when Arlene suggested I get some sleep, I crawled into bed, she spread a pre-warmed blanket on me (now that was nice!), and I fell asleep.  It was exactly what I needed.

I only slept for maybe 10 or 15 minutes before being awakened by a stronger contraction; and for the rest of my time in the bed, I drifted in and out of sleep and kept waking up because of contractions; but I didn't tell anybody at that point.  Because I was laying on my left side, my back was towards Jeff and my mom so I couldn't see them...but I could hear them.  Or at least, one of them.  I could tell that Jeff was sleeping soundly because of the familiar snores I heard coming from him.  ;-)  And you know, I was so glad he was getting rest, even when I wasn't.

My contractions during this time were definitely more intense than they had been previously, but I was able to deal with them calmly and peacefully.  For one thing, the room was quiet; the others were sleeping; I didn't have to think about anyone else but could turn my focus inward and do what I needed to do to ride the waves.

As I had been preparing for labor, I had written out Scripture verses on index cards; and I was planning to read and meditate on them while I was in labor.  But at the same time, I knew from previous experience that you really can't predict what is going to help, when you get in that moment.  So in the days leading up to Moriah's birth, I often wondered what would be the thing--the verse, the image, etc.--that would help me the most.  As it turned out, it wasn't the verses on cards; as a matter of fact, I didn't even pull them out of my bag!  (That's not to say that they were useless; I am certain that the truths of those verses worked their way deeply into my heart and mind and soul and spirit during those early mornings with God in the days and weeks before labor began.)  Here's what really helped me (and I get a little giddy when I think about this, because I love it so much!)...

It was the remembrance of Shav in the front part of the big yellow raft at Massanutten Waterpark, his hands reaching out to hold the handles, his head resting on the front of the intertube, his body speaking peace and trust.  That was what I saw in my mind, over and over that morning, as I worked to maintain my own peace and trust.  In addition, phrases from two songs played repeatedly in my head; and I was surprised by what songs they were because I hadn't chosen either of them to be included in my list of songs for labor.  Yet, they were what came to my mind, planted there by God who knew what I needed more accurately than I did!  The songs were "I Will Carry You" by Selah and "He Will Carry Me" by Mark Schultz; and in neither of these cases did I hear the whole song run through my head--just the phrases "I will carry you" and "He will carry me."  As I lay there in that bed and felt my body tighten with contractions that were growing in intensity, I breathed deeply as I felt the sensations; and with those breaths came a phrase that was my perpetual prayer.  It was simply, "Carry me."  Seeing Shav in the raft, hearing those song phrases, and thinking the prayer that was as steady as breathing--"carry me, carry me, carry me"--those three things are what helped me the most in the fight to gain victory over pain in childbirth.  I didn't plan it, I didn't know what it would be, but that's how it turned out and I'm so grateful.  It's a sweet, sweet memory that I treasure because I felt so close to my Savior during that time.

A little after 8:00 AM, Ann came into the room with Barbara, another midwife.  It was time for Ann to go home and for Barbara to take over.  As sorry as I was to not be able to have Ann present when I delivered, I was joyful to have Barbara!  After all, she's the one who delivered Tobin; and I've always enjoyed very much my appointments with Barbara.  I was familiar enough with her easy-going, conversational, friendly style to know that she would help make labor a great experience.

My dilation had not been checked for quite a while so Barbara did that and, with a big smile on her face, announced that I was at a 9!  To tell you the truth, I was delighted, but not surprised.  I knew that during that hour or so of rest, my body--and mind, of course--had been doing some serious work and had gotten me a lot closer to the finish line.  Closer, but not across it yet.  But at that point, I had no idea it would take several more hours to reach it!