My Not-So-Secret Admirer

Once upon a time, back when I was a student in high school, a secret admirer left a flower and note for me at my locker on Valentine's Day.  I was shocked...and puzzled (who was he?)...and elated.  In the angsty world of high school "romances" and other relationships, this was A Big Deal.

In the years since then, I have grown more gray and (hopefully) more wise; and one of the lessons I have learned along the way is that the thrill of a young, secret admirer cannot hold a candle to the joy of a not-so-young, not-so-secret one!!  ;-)  There is so much depth and comfort and richness and security and, yes, passion that can be found in a long-lasting marriage...if 17 years (only 17 years!) of marriage can be considered long-lasting!  ;-)

So, what is Valentine's Day like after so many years together?  Well, this year it looked like this for us...

~ I had told Jeff he did not need to get me flowers, or a fancy card, or anything store-bought for Valentine's Day.  I feel so loved by him on all the other days of the year that he didn't need to try to convince me, on that one day, that he really cherishes me!  ;-)

~ Likewise, I never really like going out for a date on Valentine's Day.  Why fight the crowds on that particular day when we regularly enjoy dates throughout the year?  :)

~ A few days before Valentine's Day, I happened to be doing some shopping and ended up looking at the Valentine's cards; and although they were lovely, I just could not justify spending $5 or more on a piece of paper to tell Jeff I love him, when for free, I can--and do--tell him that every day!  ;-)  On a related note, I noticed that card makers are now producing Valentine's cards that you can give to everyone and their brother (incorrect grammar, I know, but oh well).  So much for being a holiday for sweethearts.  Now you can wish your parents, your children, your neighbors, your aunts and uncles, your second-cousin-once-removed, your mail carrier, and probably even your dentist, a very happy Valentine's Day.  When I was a newlywed, my very first job was working in a cute little Hallmark shop in beautiful Coronado, California; and although I had some happy times there and enjoyed seeing all the pretty cards and other items, I think I was forever scarred by that because I've become very skeptical about how the greeting card industry has affected our supposed need to send various (expensive) greetings to so many people throughout the year.  It's ridiculous!!  (Stepping off my soapbox now...)  ;-)  [Edited later to add this:  I didn't express this well at all, but I am NOT opposed to the idea of Valentine's Day being a great opportunity to show love to family and friends outside of romantic relationships.  Even in its origin, Valentine's Day was for love outside of romance!  What DOES bother me, however, is the overdone commercialization of this holiday...and many other holidays, too, but that's another story.  I apologize for not communicating that well!]

~ We did continue the tradition of giving each of our boys a huge Hershey kiss--something they look forward to every year.  :)  I also got a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Moriah with a picture of a kitty cat on the front (Moriah loves cats; and sadly, we can't have one because of my allergies) because I figured that small chocolates would be easier for her to eat than a gigantic Hershey kiss.  :)

~ This particular Valentine's Day, there happened to be a dinner at our church--not just for couples, but for whole families.  The boys were involved in setting up and serving for that, and it turned into quite a fun, relaxing evening for all of us, including some games of Uno (and Jeff kind of helped me win two of them, so that was sweet).  ;-)

~ After we got home, Jeff gave me a handwritten love letter with part of it from him and part from the kids.  That definitely meant more than an overpriced card from the store would have.  ;-)

These are just simple things, part of the daily flow of love that I am so incredibly blessed to have pouring through my home and my family (OF COURSE, we have tough moments--don't be tempted to think otherwise!--but time after time, I am blown away by the love that surrounds me, and I give thanks to God because it is all a gift from Him!).

But there was one unexpected special part of this Valentine's Day that I want to remember.  :)

The night before Valentine's, I stayed up late (nothing new about that!), but I was almost ready to go to bed and was just waiting for a load of clothes in the dryer to finish before I could fall asleep.  But then Jeff, who had gone to sleep earlier, woke up and came downstairs and started talking to me.  It must have been around 1:30 or so when we started talking, and I don't think we finished until sometime around 4:00 in the morning!  ;-)  The preceding days had been ones in which we had not seemed to find much time to really connect, so I was thrilled to have that time with him to hear what's on his mind and in his heart and to share my own thoughts and feelings with him.  I felt a little crazy, staying up *that* late; and of course, I could have told Jeff I was tired and gone to bed earlier than that, but I was enjoying the time so much that I really didn't mind.  Plus, I was pretty sure I could arrange things to have a nap later in the day, after we got home from swimming lessons and gymnastics, so I figured I could catch up a little on my sleep then.  :)  Talking for a few hours in the middle of the night was an unexpected, unusual way to start Valentine's Day, for sure; but feeling so emotionally connected to Jeff was a true gift!  ;-)

When I look at this picture of Jeff and I, taken the day after we got engaged in October 1996, I am reminded of the excitement and elation of those early days of our relationship.  What sweet, sweet memories!

But then I think about where we are now in our relationship; and I know for certain that, even if I could, I would not turn back the hands of time to relive those heady days.

Because the delight I've found in my not-so-secret admirer is more complete and more precious to me than it ever has been before!!