Through All the Phases of Life

Today I celebrate 17 years of marriage to my beloved, and my thoughts wander back through time...

When Jeff started pursuing me, I often thought, "How can it be that I am the one he has chosen?  Out of all the other ones he could have pursued, why has this blessing fallen on me?"  I never could come up with a good answer for that.

Even now, I think, "How can it be that God has given us 17 spectacular years together?  When so many marriages endure such painful trials, why has this blessing fallen on me?"  I still can't come up with a good answer.

But what I do come up with is gratitude.

Gratitude in abundance.

 Not long ago, I was thinking about the different stages my relationship with Jeff has gone through.  I think if it were broken down, there would be six distinct phases.

So far.  :)

The first would be the stage in which we met as college students in Jerusalem and began the process of getting to know each other...and then, of course, realizing the spark of mutual attraction and drawing closer as a result.

The second stage would be our long-distance phase, a time of nurturing a relationship that was headed for marriage but wasn't there yet--NOT the easiest phase for us.  When I said goodbye to Jeff in the Tel Aviv airport at the end of my semester abroad, I thought I was saying goodbye to him forever; but he had enough faith--not to mention perseverance--to compensate for my lack.  We discovered that it was possible to not only maintain, but actually build, a relationship across many miles.  Even when it was tough.  :)

Next came the third stage of our relationship: the newlywed phase.  That was fun.  :)  After our wedding and honeymoon, we settled down in southern California, and Jeff worked as a barber while I worked, first, in a quaint little Hallmark shop in the gorgeous town of Coronado, and then I taught piano lessons.  It was a time of much joy as we discovered how much easier it is to nurture a relationship when you can see each other face to face--and, what's more, be in the same time zone!  :)  We savored these days; and for me, one special part was exploring the Southwest through short little trips we took here and there...like to the Grand Canyon (above) and to the amazing deserts of California (below).  Life was sweet.

It got even better in the next phase, when Jeff and I were asked to serve together in the ministry in San Diego: first, as leaders of a singles group, and then leading a congregation of about 100 people or so.  To be so completely involved in the passion of our hearts to know God more fully and make Him known to others was a dream come true.  To do it together made this fourth stage a rich, cherished time.

And then the fifth stage.  A call came out of the blue, asking if we would return to Israel to serve a congregation there.  Would we?!  We had been longing for this.  With great joy, we returned to the land where we first met, the land that had called to each of us individually long before we even knew of each other's existence.  Our excitement and enthusiasm were high, but honestly, it didn't take too long until reality hit.  When I look back on those Israel years, I have incredibly precious memories; but you know what stands out most in my mind?  The fact that it was hard.  Every aspect of life there--and I really mean EVERY aspect--was harder than it had been in the States; and looking back, I see my own numerous failures staring me in the face.  It's pointless to think this way, but the "I wish I had...I should have...I wish I could do it again" thoughts creep into my mind if I let them.  All that aside, however, Jeff and I loved and laughed and sometimes cried (that would be me) and agonized and grew and talked and walked and did life together.  I could write pages and pages about the special times there.  Maybe someday I will.  ;-)

That brings us to the sixth stage: the Virginia phase.  For a man who had never stayed in one place for very long (even during his childhood, his parents moved a number of times), to have lived here in Virginia for close to nine years is a record!  I won't say much about these Virginia years because they have been amply documented in blog posts!  ;-)

But I will say this: I wonder what the future holds.  What will the next phase be?  When will it begin?  How long will it last?  How many more phases of life will I have the privilege of going through with Jeff by my side?

Of course, the only answer to those questions is the same answer I gave Jeff when he first asked me to marry him:  "God only knows."  :)

 As I look back over the years I've known Jeff, I ask myself which of these six stages is my favorite.  Want to know my answer?

This one.  The one I'm in right now.  This is my favorite phase.  There is a richness and depth to our life, to our love; and I savor this.

17 years.  How can it be?  :)