STUFF!

Every once in a while, I start to feel completely overwhelmed by how much stuff we have in our house.  Oh, we're not even close to the point of qualifying for a spot on the show Hoarders; but even still, WE HAVE SO MUCH STUFF.  I start to think things like, "If we just got rid of half our things--half our clothes, half our books, half our dishes, etc.--we'd be much better off.  I can't stand this anymore!"

I'm at that point now, in case you didn't notice.  ;-)  I'm sure the extra STUFF in our schedule recently hasn't helped my state of mind in regards to this issue, since everything that gets added to the schedule means my time for regular household cleaning and organization is lessened.  As laundry piles start to grow and toys get left out instead of being put away at night and a stack of papers that need attention is rising on the kitchen counter, my attitude becomes less serene, and I just want to throw away all this junk!  :)

With that in mind, I read an interesting article earlier today (linked to on Facebook by JDaniel4's Mom) about one mom who made the decision to essentially get rid of all of her children's stuff--and then, happily, enjoyed the fruit of that decision when she discovered that her children got along better and were more joyful and content without all of their stuff.

It's not the first time I've heard about this concept of parents radically decreasing the amount of things their children have, and then realizing that all of that stuff that was supposed to make their kids happy was really making them miserable (although the kids wouldn't have had the ability to recognize or verbalize that while they had the stuff).  Although I think the idea certainly has merit, I'm not seriously considering taking such a drastic action.

However, it does make the wheels in my brain turn as I ponder...

~ How does this apply in a large family?  Sure, I could get rid of plenty of toys that Josiah has no interest in whatsoever, and he would be happy to see them go.  But what about the other four little ones that are coming along behind him and might have enjoyed playing with those things?

~ Speaking of Josiah, he is my child that, so far, most often expresses a desire for order and seems most bothered by a chaotic environment.  In this area, he and I are alike.  David, on the other hand, never seems bothered by it.  He's the kind of kid that would let the dirty clothes pile up on the floor of his room until he'd used up all of his clean clothes...and then at that point, he might wonder where his clothes were and might come to the realization that he should make sure they got to the laundry room so they could be washed.  He's the boy who, night after night, takes a different book to bed so he can read for a little while before lights-out; but he never actually returns those books to the shelf so a pile grows and grows on his bed...and he doesn't seem to mind a bit.  He is also the child who dearly LOVES to go to McDonald's...not so much for the food, but for the toy he gets in the kids' meal.  So far at least, his love language seems to definitely be GIFTS in a major way.  Bottom line:  he loves stuff.  My dilemma?  How do I apply radical downsizing and simplifying without essentially making him feel unloved?  I used to be a gifts person, and in my mind, those items were strongly connected with people; the things were visual symbols of love.  I believe that's the same for David; and if so, how do I help him learn to let go of things without emptying his love tank?

~ Christmas is approaching, and both Jeff and I truly enjoy giving gifts to the boys--finding things we think they'll like, anticipating the joy on their faces, etc.  It really brings joy to us as well.  It's not that we spend hundreds of dollars on each child, or fill the living room floor with wrapped gifts on Christmas Eve, or anything like that.  On the one hand, our gift-giving isn't extravagant; but on the other hand, it's definitely more than what many people do (some of whom are restricted by lack of money, and some of whom decide to limit themselves for the moral reason of it).  Should we make changes in how we approach Christmas?  If so, how will the boys react?  How important is it to consider their feelings, and when is it better for us as parents to simply say "this is how it's going to be," even if they don't like it?

I think what it all comes down to is David.  We have a lot of stuff that Jeff wouldn't mind seeing go out the door.  ;-)  Josiah would be fine with some major clean-out.  Tobin and Shav and Moriah are still young enough that they wouldn't be affected as much by it.  But David?  I just don't know.  I love that boy so much and never want to do anything to hurt his sweet little heart.

Hmmm...what to do...

Well, at the moment, all I can do is go to bed...so I can get some sleep...so I can wake up tomorrow refreshed and energetic...so I can tackle some household tasks and bring some order to disheveled parts of my home...so my mind can be clear again.

And maybe, along the way, I'll find a big pile of STUFF to drop off at the thrift store.  ;-)