My dearest Josiah,
Ever since your birthday last June, when you turned nine years old and I realized with a start that you were beginning your last year of single digits, I've wanted to write this post for you, to capture in words a portrait of who you are at this stage of your life and to let you know how incredibly grateful and extremely proud I am of you. Now, almost a full year later, I'm finally sitting down to the task!
When I think of you, some of the words that come to mind immediately are reliable, steady, mature, helpful, responsible, trustworthy. Because of you, certain things make sense to me now: for example, when I hear of a situation where the father in a family dies and the mother is forced to lean heavily on the oldest son as he assumes a much bigger level of responsibility, I can totally picture that...because I know that would be you. You would do that for me, and for your younger siblings, and for the memory of the father that you adore. Now I don't have any kind of premonition that your dear daddy will die any time soon or that you'll be thrust into that circumstance, and I pray that never happens! But I see how you so easily step into the role of right-hand man to me; and even though I strive to not dump too much responsibility into your lap because I want you to still feel free to be a child and enjoy the carefree days of your youth, I also am aware that you seem to excitedly embrace responsibility and you love to think about and discuss topics like what kind of job you might have as an adult, what kind of college you might attend, and even...*grin*...who you might marry.
You are such a comfort to your dad and I. When I think back to how we (maybe mostly I) anguished over each stage of your development, I can't help but shake my head a little at my own foolishness. If we had only known how you would be at nine years of age! The anxiety over whether you would EVER walk would have disappeared if we had known you would run a 5K when you were nine. The concern about your obedience during the authority-challenging times of your toddlerhood would have been erased by the knowledge of how quick you are to obey now. The difficulties I faced during your kindergarten year when I was trying to teach you to read (knowing that you were plenty smart enough for it!) and you were...shall we say...reluctant at best would have been laughable in the light of the fact that you are now an amazing, voracious reader. All the transformations we've seen in you make me wonder what you'll be like as the years go by and you continue to change! What we most earnestly hope for is that in all your metamorphoses, you'll grow in the direction of Jesus and become more and more like Him.
Being the oldest, you have no choice but to shape our perspective on child-raising; and what a broader, healthier perspective we have now than we did when you were younger. Because of you, when one of your younger brothers demonstrates his strong will, I don't quiver as much as I used to. I simply remember that you used to do that, and look how you turned out! There's hope for the little ones. :) You do an impressive job as the leader of the pack, and we are comforted by the growth we've seen in you and the glimpses of God's work in your heart.
Let me tell you something else that stands out to me about you: you are such a boy! So different from me in so many ways, you demonstrate vividly what a young man is all about: the courage, the risks, the desire to fight off evil and protect the good, the willingness to be challenged and face it head on. I saw this clearly some time ago when you read a selection in your literature book from Of Men and Mountains by William Douglas. In that particular (true) story, there are two instances where someone--either the author or his friend--very nearly died while climbing a mountain. After you read it, you came to me with a wistful smile and said, "I've always wanted to go mountain climbing." A far cry from my thoughts after reading the story which were something along the lines of "I am NEVER going mountain climbing. Why would anyone want to do that? You'd have to be crazy or stupid to put yourself in situations like that!" ;-) You came forth from my body, but you are definitely your own person; and I watch, fascinated, as a man emerges from within you.
I'll mention just one more characteristic about you tonight before I wrap this up, and that is this: you have a truly tender heart. I remember how, a few months ago, Daddy decided that for his family night activity, we could watch the movie Snowmen, which was supposed to be this great family movie. So we watched it, and you hated it. Your sweet little heart was torn up by the emotion and drama of it, catching me off guard because I thought, "Surely this boy who watches Star Wars without a bit of hesitation or remorse won't have a problem with Snowmen!" But you did; and even now when the subject of that movie comes up, you remind us how much you didn't like it! Here's another example: just last evening, Daddy found a rat's nest and caught seven baby rats. I'm sure he intended to kill them because we definitely don't need more rats around here, but you - my mighty hunter who races to grab his bow and arrow when a rabbit is spotted in the yard - surprisingly did not want him to kill them. Your tenderness prevailed upon him, and he was moved to compassion, ultimately deciding to relocate the rats, rather than kill them. You don't fully understand this yet, but believe me when I say that tenderness in a man is an incredibly valuable trait; and you have been blessed with it in abundance.
One thing I failed to do during this whole, long year was post pictures from your birthday last year. So, believing the old adage "better late than never," I'll go ahead and post them now. Hopefully it won't take me an entire year to post the pictures from your 10th birthday, coming up in just one week!! :)
We gave you some summer pajamas...
...two sets, actually. Because of hand-me-downs from you, your little brothers rarely get brand new clothes; and even you are blessed with hand-me-downs because of friends who give us clothes. But once in a while, we do need to buy you some items of clothing, and pajamas are usually one of those items. You might think that a nine-year-old wouldn't get too excited about pajamas for a birthday gift, but you loved them and have happily worn them this year. :)Of course, David wanted to see what was in your gift bags, too. :)
Reading a card from Grandma & Grandpa...
...then listening as Grandma read aloud her handwritten message (which was written in cursive, making it difficult/impossible for you to read).
Grandma really loves you and is so proud of you.
Grandpa is, too, but he usually doesn't cry about it. ;-) He did, however, show his affection for you by giving you a special chess set for your 9th birthday.
A book from us...I can't remember which one, but you look happy about it. ;-)
A 3-D globe puzzle...
Some Jonathan Park CDs...
And the big gift......something you'd been wanting for quite a while...
...and had been faithfully saving your own money for.
A Kindle!!!
It was a lot of fun to surprise you with that and to be able to reward your diligence by saying, "Here. We know you've been wanting this and saving for it, but you can keep your money and use it for something else because we want to bless you with this."
Because you are so special to us, we want to bless you in every way we can - not just in material possessions, but in so many other ways. I suppose it's because we realize that YOU have been such a terrific blessing for us, and we love you more than words can say.
This 9th year of your life has been fantastic, and we delight in the young man you're becoming. Because of that, double digits don't scare me. They simply usher in a new chapter of your life and a new phase of our relationship with you, our precious firstborn. With God to guide us, this coming year of your life is going to be a great one!! :)
With a heart full of love forever,
Your adoring Mom
Let me wipe away my tears. Oh my what a special guy. And he has some great parents, for him to turn out so awesome! I really love this post. I am struggling with having a WONDERFUL nearly 15 yr old this year (the letting go is getting super hard). It sure is more fun to hang out with them the older they get, when they have been trained up in the right way. Keep up the good work Davene and Jeff, And Josiah too :0)
ReplyDeleteYour words have brought me to tears! What an amazing love you have for your children.
ReplyDeleteDavene, you really are such a beautiful writer. That talent, combined with the love you have for these precious boys, makes visiting your blog a constant source of joy (and *sniffles*!)
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Already 9??? Well, in that case, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSIAH!
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