Baby Blessing: Week 38

I seem to have hit the "are you OK?" phase of pregnancy.  For example, Jeff might find me sitting on the side of the bed in the middle of the night; and his automatic question is, "Are you OK?"

"Yes," I might respond.  "Just having a contraction."

And boy, oh boy, do I ever have them!  They are definitely a daily occurrence, particularly in the evenings.  I suppose that's because, by then, my body is tired and ready for a break and feeling the strain of carrying a filled-to-the-brim uterus around.  I typically don't have many contractions in the morning; but as the day goes by, their frequency increases.  And sometimes, as in the example above, I'll have one in the middle of the night that will wake me and make me wonder, "Is it time?"  But then, nothing will come of it; and I'll quickly go back to sleep.  In fact, there hasn't been a single time when I've really thought labor might have started, and so, the wait continues...

Speaking of labor, I've been blessed in that with my last two deliveries, my water broke here at home, signalling the beginning of labor; and therefore, I knew when to go to the hospital.  Although I can hardly picture otherwise, I know that it would be rare for my water to break this time at the onset of labor, because statistically, labor only begins that way in about 10 percent of pregnancies.  So I wonder to myself, "Will I know when we should leave for the hospital?  Will I wait too long?  Go too early?  How will I know what to do?"

And yes, if you think I sometimes worry about unnecessary things, you're right.  ;-)

Regardless, the time will come, and the baby will be born, and although I can't even imagine what her birth story is going to be like, God already knows all the details of it.  I rest in that assurance, even as I count down the days...which I am counting, by the way (a change from my Week 36 update, in which I wrote that I was still counting by weeks).  Once I hit 38 weeks, it seemed more accurate to count the days, rather than the weeks.  Today is 12 days before my due date, and all day I've been remembering that David surprised us all by being born 12 days before his due date.  It doesn't look like Baby Sister is going to follow in his footsteps though, since midnight is drawing closer and she shows no signs of coming out to play tonight!  :)

Actually, if there was any day that I could have chosen for her birth, it probably would have been this one for the simple reason that it was my grandmother's birthday.  If Grandma Winters were still alive, she would have turned 98 today; and all through this pregnancy, I've thought about how special it would be for my daughter to be born on her great-grandmother's birthday.  But again, time is running out; and unless this is an extraordinarily fast labor, it's not going to happen on this date!

I know I'm writing a lot about the big question of WHEN; but believe it or not, I feel a great deal of patience and contentment as I await her birth.  Part of that, I'm sure, is because I feel so amazingly good!  I've had some days of abundant energy recently, and some of the physical problems that bothered me earlier have actually disappeared.  I suppose, too, my adrenaline is kicking in and buoying me high on the wave of "I'm gonna have a baby soon!"  When I mentioned to Jeff about how I feel so much better now than I did weeks ago and how surprised I was by that, he nodded knowingly and mentioned something about nesting and how I always get this rush of energy towards the end of a pregnancy.  It cracks me up how he remembers things differently (and more accurately, I am SURE!) than I do.  ;-)

A few days ago, when I was thinking about what to write in this update, I realized that my heartburn had been much less often and less severe, so I was going to mention that maybe the baby has dropped and is no longer pressing on the upper part of my abdomen so much and, as a result, I have less heartburn.  I was going to say that, that is, but now I'm not going to say that.  Because the heartburn is back.  So I don't know if she's dropped or not.  But I do know that I still need the bottle of Tums in my nightstand.  :)

Today I was remembering how I got such sore ribs when I was pregnant with Josiah because he would always kick me on the right side, squarely in my ribs.  And with David, I had a painful spot near my navel where his little foot would repeatedly kick and stretch me.  With this little girl, on the other hand, I don't have any specific sore spots where she "always" kicks me.  I do feel almost all of her motions on my right side, only rarely on the left; and she is quite active and never leaves me waiting for long when I pause to pay attention to her motions.  But somehow her movements, although strong, must be a little slower and more gentle because I don't feel bruised on the inside like I did during my first two pregnancies.  I still enjoy her movements so much and absolutely savor the closeness I share with her during these last weeks (days?).

Last week, as I mentioned here, I started making meals to put in the freezer for after her birth.  I haven't gotten quite as far with that project as I intended to (is anyone surprised?  no?  really?  no one is surprised?) ;-)  but I am grateful for the few meals I've tucked away for the post-birth crazy weeks.  So far I have:
~ Curried Lentils
~ Wild Chicken (2 dishes of this)
~ Lentil Stew
I'm still hoping to make greater progress in this area during this week, provided Little Miss stays put a while longer.

These days, my time feels so limited.  I often feel tugged by the things I'd like to be doing in various areas of life.  Should I sit down with David and guide him through some pages in his language arts workbook, or should I fold the laundry?  Should I spend time during the boys' afternoon quiet time to clean the bathrooms, or should I cook a meal for the freezer?  Should I clean out the refrigerator, or should I put my feet up and rest a little?  In all honesty, these are the kinds of decisions I have to make all the time, because I never feel like I have enough time to do everything I'd like.  But right now, there is an additional urgency to this decision-making.  I have a deadline coming, but I don't even know when.  The finish line of this race could be tomorrow or two weeks from now, and it's challenging to pace myself when I can't even tell where the finish line is!  :)

However, I often come back to this thought: it doesn't matter.  If I go into labor and the dishes aren't done, it doesn't matter.  If the baby is born and there are dust bunnies under her bed, it doesn't matter.  If I give birth before I stock the freezer with as many meals as I intended and we have to end up eating take-out pizza, subs, and Jeff's tacos for several weeks, it doesn't matter.  Really, I could go into labor at any time, and it would be OK.  At such a time, all the tasks on my to-do list melt away, and my focus narrows to what is truly important: bringing a new life into the world.  Even if my toilets aren't sparkling and there's a pile of dirty clothes in the laundry room.  ;-)

One big before-baby project did get crossed off my list this past weekend, however; and that was a great feeling.  I was actually able to get the nursery completely organized, with tiny diapers taken out of the package and filling the drawer in the changing table, storage boxes sorted through for gender-neutral clothing, blue blankets put away and pink ones brought out, and--best of all--the clothes we've been given for our daughter organized and put away.  Jeff even put together the infant bouncy seat we have, and it's awaiting a tiny occupant to fill it.  :)

While doing that very fun job, I was overwhelmed, in the best possible way, with a sense of blessing.  My hands were touching precious girl clothes that my mother had bought and saved all this time, clothing that my aunt Eleanor had used for her little girl quite a few years ago (my cousin is older than I am!), lots of cute outfits from dear Lisa, more clothing from another friend Ceci, onesies from Sara, special clothes from Jeff's sister Kim.  Did I forget anyone?  And that's not even including the blankets, burp clothes, etc. from Stacey and a bib and burp cloth from Valerie!

* Edited on 3/27 to add:  I knew I was forgetting somebody!  Or in this case, two somebodies.  My dad reminded me this morning about a beautiful little girl outfit that my friend Farrah gave me; and I also happened to remember that Brenda, one of Jeff's co-workers, gave us quite a bit of girl clothing, too--some of it in larger sizes that will be great as our daughter grows up.  I'm so sorry I forgot to mention those two kind, generous friends! 

Do you know what we've bought for our daughter?  So far, it's been these whopping purchases:
~ her first doll (Ebay)
~ a hat (Ebay)
~ her going-home-from-the-hospital outfit (Walmart)
~ an Eeyore figurine (dollar store)
~ diapers
~ wipes

I'm reminded of this lesson I learned last year:  when He adds, He also multiplies.  How true that is, and how grateful I am to the many friends who have been the hands of God to so generously pour out provisions upon us as we prepare for the arrival of our daughter!

It looks like we won't have to dress her in hand-me-downs from our sons after all!  ;-)

~ picture taken at a baby shower for my friend Sally ~ I've had so much fun being pregnant at the same time as she has been and comparing notes on these pregnancies ~ I can hardly wait until her daughter makes her grand appearance, too! ~

By the way, there's still time to enter a guess about when my baby will be born...and if you get closest to the date and time, you'll win a prize ($20 gift certificate to christianbook.com).  You can go here to enter.  Happy guessing!  :)