Those who guessed did pretty well, pinpointing David, for example, as the one who lamented that he wanted it to be a boy, and pegging Jeff's sister as the happy shopper who already bought us a girl outfit. Here are the complete answers.
A: "WHAT???" - my dad (although he claims that his reaction was partially due to the fact that he literally could not understand what the boys were saying as they screamed the news over the speaker phone feature on Jeff's cell phone) ;-)
B: (a little sadly) "I wanted it to be a boy." - David (later that same evening, however, he sat with me while I pulled out some girl clothes; and as he touched their softness and admired their cute cuddliness, he started getting a little excited about having a sister) :)
C: ...wild, excited screaming... - the ladies who work at the barbershop
D: after the normal congratulations..."Had to go buy you a girl outfit today." - Jeff's sister (I can't wait to see what she chose) :)
E: "I tried not to hope, but I was hoping it was a girl." - Jeff
F: ...crying... - me! (those who guessed thought this was my mom's reaction, but nope, it was mine...I can't remember what I said when the ultrasound tech announced that it was a girl, but I do remember that tears sprang instantly to my eyes, and the tech kindly handed me a tissue) :)
G: "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise God! Hallelujah!!!" - my mom :)
H: (in a happy daze) "It's a girl!"...again, a little while later, "It's a girl!"...later still, "It's a girl!" - Josiah (even today, he occasionally came up to me and said in amazement, "It's a girl!") :)
Wednesday evening, as we were all trying to absorb the news, my mom confided in me, "I had some talks with God about how you needed to have a girl." :) I had to smile because I had had some talks with God, letting Him know that it really didn't matter to me what He chose to give us and that I would be completely content with a boy, but that I thought my mom really wanted a girl, and could He please give us one for her sake because it would really mean so much to her?!?! :) Truly, although we are all overjoyed with the thought of this girl baby joining our family, I think, if there were some measure for happiness and gratitude, my dear mother just might win the prize for having the most. That's why this picture, taken on Wednesday night as we took our first look through the box of baby girl clothes gathered years ago, is so special to me:
Before I get to the subject I initially planned to write about, I want to mention one more thing about the ultrasound. At some point after Lori told us that it's a girl, Jeff said, "Are you SURE?" She was. And I believe her. :)
Now, the prayer...
As I was sitting in an examining room after the ultrasound, waiting for the midwife to come in, my heart was understandably very full with so much joy, gratitude, astonishment, etc. It felt like my face might split from smiling so wide! But in the midst of all of that, a thought--a prayer--came to the forefront. "Lord, help me to cling lightly to this child. This girl is a child of promise, long-awaited, dearly-loved, already rejoiced-over, undeniably unique in our family. I realize the temptation exists for me to hold too tightly to her: to worry over her, to spoil her, to project my dreams too vigorously upon her, to act as if she is the continuation of me. Please help me to let her live her own life, to not expect her to grow up and live in my backyard, to not put the pressure of you're-the-only-girl-so-you'll-have-to-be-the-one-to-take-care-of-me on her, to release her to follow the vision that You have for her life--no matter how far away from me that might take her. Help me to hold her with open hands, ready to release her back to You whenever You call her."
As I write out the words that flooded my spirit two days ago, I can't help but think of the example of my own parents, who never once insisted that I follow my mother in the path of studying music in college (although that is what I ended up studying after taking a brief detour into the land of English Major), who let me get on an airplane by myself at the tender age of 18 and fly halfway around the world to Israel to meet up with a study group there, who rejoiced with me as my love for a wild mountain man ;-) from California began to grow, who supported us as we married and started our life on the other side of the continent from where they lived, who said the hard goodbye that Monday morning after our wedding and let me drive off into the unknown with him, who never voiced a word of opposition when we packed up our seven-month-old firstborn and moved to Israel even though some of the first things on our to-do list when we got there were finding an apartment with a bomb shelter and being issued gas masks by the government. Talk about holding me with open hands! Sure, I now live in their backyard, but all those years they didn't know that it would end up this way, our lives so closely intertwined once more.
With my own sweet daughter whom I already love more than life, may I do likewise. Oh, not that she needs to marry a Californian ;-) or live on the other side of the globe; but if that is what God calls her to do, let me stand ready to support her and cheer her on, never standing in her way or making her feel guilty for not fulfilling some preconceived notion of how my daughter should live her life.
Oh, God, help me hold her lightly!
Davene, I didn't write it yesterday; I didn't really think it would come across properly, but one of my first thoughts, and prayers, was that very thing: 'Lord, don't let them idolize her, or cling too much to her.'
ReplyDeleteYou are so wise, Davene.
(PS-I also thought how lovely it would be if God gave her a sister. Now I *really* am running ahead. Apologies... but I have one, and we have 2 daughters, so I know what it is :) I'm so glad I didn't post that, knowing it's not the time. So glad I can keep my tongue tied when it ought to be... Ahem)
I got a few right! Yay! Loved reading everyone's responses! I loved reading your prayer and I loved what you said.
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful prayer, Davene, and a beautiful post about trusting in God.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wise prayer! She is so blessed to have you as her mom.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! At the same time, by supporting her this way, you will be able to remain very close to her as she grows. Have you read Bringing up Boys? Dr. Dobson talks about the a boy becoming a man "over his mother's dead body." Meaning that a boy needs to separate himself from his mother and from the security of their close relationship in order to move into manhood. When I read that I was sad because I had only boys at the time.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to hold all our kids lightly. It sounds like you have had a good example set before you.