But this year...well...let's just say it didn't go quite like I had planned.
For example...
~ I planned for Josiah and David to take swimming lessons in June. When we went to register, we discovered that the June classes were full. As it stands now, they'll do swimming lessons in August.
~ I planned (with Josiah and David's input) for this coming week to be filled with special classes for my oldest three sons: a pottery class for Josiah, a Spanish class for David, and a Musikgarten class for Tobin. But then, I got a call that Josiah's class was cancelled because the art room was being renovated, then Tobin's class was cancelled because of low enrollment, then David's class was also cancelled for low enrollment. Suddenly, I have a free week on my schedule that I wasn't planning on having.
More examples...
~ I didn't plan to have a miscarriage.
~ I didn't plan to reconnect with a church 150 miles away from here and get involved with that congregation, turning our Sundays into day-long field trips.
~ I didn't plan for Jeff's barber shop to get inspected, adding stress upon stress as he complied with sometimes-puzzling government regulations.
~ I didn't plan for our garage door to break, creating a completely unexpected expense in our already-tight budget.
~ I didn't plan for Shav to continue having sleep issues, turning me into a more exhausted mother than I'd like to be.
I could go on, but I think that's enough to convey the point.
I wish I could say I've handled all of these unexpected twists and turns with joy and peace and grace, but I'd be lying. Instead, I'll admit that I've had more low days than I would have liked, I've had numerous thoughts of "This summer has been really hard. Why does life feel so difficult right now?", and, what's more, I've started things and not carried through. That, on the surface, may not seem like a big deal; but anyone as skilled in the art of procrastination as I am(!) knows that it's downright discouraging to have half-finished projects lying around and unmet goals floating in the air.
Here are a few of mine...
~ Earlier this year, I did quite a bit of work in the flowerbeds behind our house, weeding them and preparing them for blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries. The strawberry area never got finished, and the poor strawberry plants are still sitting in their containers, on top of our grill. The raspberry area looked great when I first worked on it, but now the weeds have come back so ferociously that it looks almost completely untamed (and that happened because I dropped the ball after planting the raspberries and never got around to putting down newspaper and mulch to keep the weeds down). The blueberries are doing the best; but even with that, there are a few weeds in that bed that wouldn't take me any time at all to pull...but I just haven't made the time to get out there and do that. (And who wants to pull weeds when it's 103 degrees outside?!)
~ Because of Josiah's pottery class getting cancelled, I had some ideas for how to arrange for some art classes for him this fall, taught by a friend of ours who is an artist and art teacher. We were going to include some other homeschooled children, and it was going to be great. But after the first wave of emails, I never followed up with that, and that idea is stuck in the mud. Ugh.
~ Of more significance is the fact that I wanted to focus extensively on training the boys in consistently doing their daily jobs. We've got the job charts on the refrigerator, and we've got the stickers to put in the squares when the day's chores are completed, but there are embarrassingly few squares filled in. Some of their responsibilities have become second nature to them, but not all; and I was really hoping that they (meaning Josiah and David) would take the initiative to check their charts, finish their jobs, and get those wonderful stickers (which will lead, in the end, to a fabulous prize!) But instead, I've discovered that without me following up with them, the jobs don't get done. Since I've slacked off with the follow-up, so have they.
I don't want this to all be doom and gloom, so I'll end with two positive things. First, the Goals for Summer 2011 chart we made several months ago has been even more helpful than I envisioned, particularly because as I've wallowed in procrastination, low energy, and all-around "blah-ness," I've been able to consult that chart and discover activities that we can do that will give purpose to our days and joy to the hearts of my sons. I definitely plan to repeat that simple, but meaningful, goal-setting exercise next summer.
Second, Proverbs 16:9 has come alive for me, since it seems to sum up all that I've been trying to say!
Isn't that the truth?!In his heart a man plans his course,but the Lord determines his steps.
How comforting to remember that, even in this Proverbs 16:9 summer, God's still in control. And even though I may not have planned all the things that happened...
...He did!
Yes, He knew it all from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI am procrastinator-extraordinaire... and I hate it :( I know what you mean when you see jobs half-done and other tasks which never got further than the thought stage....
When God first placed homeschooling on my heart, I used to argue, 'Lord, I think this is the most wonderful thing I've ever heard of.... if only I were a different kind of person'. (Meaning really - 'Lord, if only you'd made me an organised, efficient kind of person, this would be great'. But He uses the weak vessels.... and He gets the glory :)
Sorry about the mix-mox way summer has turned out, but I know that you know - it's all to His glory :)
You have had quite a summer! I will be praying about this week and God's plan for it.
ReplyDeletewhew what a summer it has been! I hope you have an amazing week.. a week that was planned to be fun but separate fun can be an amazing week of family fun!
ReplyDeletei love you, friend.
ReplyDeletejust thought you should know that. :)
everything works out for the glory of God, & it sounds like His hand is behind all of this.
Much of what you've written about here is how I've perceived our summer going, too. Great expectations, but missed opportunities. The steady has been swimming lessons, but our highly spoken of and expected playdates have failed to pan out. But we have a few more weeks! So I plan to keep them active right up to the time school starts.
ReplyDeleteBut what I want to say is this: You don't make me feel so alone as I assess the unreached potential the summer held. Thanks for sharing.