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Saturday, April 23, 2011

I Asked My Mother for Help

Here's why:  long, long ago (I think it was last summer), I started reading On the Banks of Plum Creek to my boys; and yesterday evening I wanted to finish it.  Why did it take me such a horrendously long time to read that book to them?  Because, quite simply, I cried through the whole book.  Is that ridiculous or what?  But wow, at this stage of life, I can't read the Little House books and not identify with Ma in the hardships she faced.  It moves me to tears every time I read about, for example, Pa needing to walk hundreds of miles away to find work so the family wouldn't starve when the grasshoppers devoured all their crops and Ma and the girls don't hear from him for ever so long and finally the letter comes and Ma starts to read it and...by this point, I'm crying so much that I can't even keep reading.  I feel silly for admitting my weakness in this area, but at least I'm not the only one.  My blogging friend Patti is the same way, so that makes two of us.  ;-)

So, after seeing the book on the we're-reading-this-now shelf for too many months and knowing that it would be nice to finish it before this school year ends (which is next week for us, by the way), yesterday I convinced myself to summon all my courage and exert my highest degree of self-control and read more in that book.  I managed fine for a little while.  True, Pa had gone to town (all because he wanted tobacco, for shame!), and a blizzard came, and they didn't know where he was, and Ma sat up all night in the rocking chair with the lantern in the window, and Laura woke up in the night and peeked through the hole in the floor from her second-story bedroom, and the snow blew through the cracks around the doors and windows and put a fine layer of snow on the floors and beds.  But I was doing fine.  No tears.  Even when I read about Carrie's tears because she was missing her daddy.

However, when the FOURTH day of the blizzard rolled around and I knew that surely Pa would be coming home in the next chapter and I knew just as surely that my restraint wouldn't be able to handle that homecoming without showing my emotions, I conveniently discovered that it was time for lunch and I needed to stop reading right away.  "Maybe we'll finish it later this evening!" I told the boys as they begged for another chapter.  But already I was plotting how I could get away with NOT reading it to them.

At the supper table, I made an announcement after the boys had finished eating and had left the table, "I need someone to finish reading On the Banks of Plum Creek tonight.  Can either of you (looking at Jeff and then at my mother) do it?"  My dear mother eagerly volunteered for the job, since reading to her grandchildren is something she enjoys very much.  Before too long, she was settled on the couch, with little bodies snuggled around her, impatient to hear the end of the story.
 Would you believe, she was able to read the rest of the book without crying!  I thought I got my emotional nature, my ability to cry at any little thing, from her!  How did she do it?!  :)
Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen doing the nightly clean-up and, even though I had secretly read ahead to know how it all ended, I was still getting a huge lump in my throat and watery eyes as I listened to her reading to them.  Not only is there the moment when Pa, looking like a bear in his buffalo coat, first comes into the house, but also there's the time when he's telling them what happened and he says that he ate the oysters crackers to keep alive and then, even worse, he ate the Christmas candy and Mary and Laura say it's OK, knowing that they won't have any presents at all for Christmas but not wanting any because THEY HAVE THEIR PA HOME WITH THEM...  Oh, dear me.  I just can't stay unemotional at moments like these.

But one thing I can do:  be especially grateful that I have my mother around to help me out when I need her!!!  :)

Now that we've finally finished On the Banks of Plum Creek, I have a new dilemma.  Should I even attempt to start the next book in the series?  I guess I'll have to skim through it and see how many near-tragedies there are.  Any wildfires?  Attacks from Indians?  Anybody get lost in a blizzard?  Any sickness that almost kills them?  Any sad goodbyes?  Any chance at all that I could read the whole book and not shed a single tear?  :)

9 comments:

  1. Just curious, is this your first time reading the Little House series? I've read all the books many times, and I hope to read them to our children, and maybe I'll see them all differently now that I'm an adult, but I doubt I will cry through them. I guess I'll find out when I try reading them.

    Anyway, I think it's great that you're reading them to your children (who are all boys, so evidently you don't think they are "girls' books"). And, I'm glad your mother could help you out.

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  2. Oh Davene it was so nice reading a couple posts and catching up a little. This post was sooooo CUTE! I know exactly what you are saying!!!! I teared up over ALL books too!!! Wow it would be hard if I was having to read-a-loud and try to stop the tears! :) I loved all the pictures you have been posting and my goodness what a smile you bring to me every time I visit your blog! I can't wait to catch up on all the posts I missed. Hopefully time will slow down a bit over here and I will be able to!

    Happy Easter to you sweet friend!

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  3. Sally - good question! I'm familiar with the Little House books because of reading them and/or having them read to me numerous times during childhood. But that's been quite a few years ago! This is my first time reading through the series since then. Honestly, I'm surprised at myself as I read them. I know I tend to be a little emotional. ;-) But I had no idea how strongly I would connect with Ma and how I would visualize myself making the kinds of sacrifices and enduring the hardships that she did. When I put myself in her place and Jeff in the place of Pa, my heart nearly breaks when I think about how difficult life was for them. But as a child, I didn't think along those lines AT ALL! I suppose I just thought, "Wow, a fire on the prairie! And they put it out with wet sacks! Cool!" But now I think, "Oh my goodness. THEY COULD HAVE DIED. How helpless I would have felt, out there on that prairie, knowing that there was no one to turn to for help, no 911 to call, no firefighters to show up. And if I didn't figure out how to beat that fire, not only was my house going to burn but my entire family was going to die. That's intense." And it just gets my tears going... But like I said, I surprise myself with how strongly I feel these emotions. I never would have guessed how my reaction would be, reading them for the first time as an adult.

    I absolutely want my boys to hear all of them. To me, they're not just girl stories. :)

    Elizabeth - thanks so much for your sweet comment. I miss reading what's going on in your life! I hope your Easter is wonderful, too. :)

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  4. Yes, Joelle and I cried in 'On the Shores of Silver Lake' when Jack died! We bawled our eyes out for a whole evening :)

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  5. I'm the same way!!! The Last Battle in the Chronicles of Narnia was a kicker. I remember crying through parts of Little Men and others too. The only Little House book we read was Farmer Boy but we'll be sure to read more with the little girls.

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  6. I think it's pretty funny that I am crying again just reading your post about this! I absolutely could not speak when I was trying to read the part about Pa eating the crackers and Harper could not figure out WHY this was so sad to me.

    I did decide that for my own emotional stability I am going to stop with the series for a little while. I remembered, as Emily mentioned, that Jack dies in the next book and I think having to read that aloud would surely do me in. Maybe we'll start at the beginning again next year when all three kids are old enough to sit and listen. Or maybe I'll just invite my mom over to do the hard parts in my stead!

    I've actually been reading Susan Wise Bauer's book about classical education and am wondering if I will be this emotional about historical events as we learn them together. I did start weeping silently at my desk once in college in a British history class when the professor talked about how, because almost a million young British soldiers died in World War I, an entire generation of young women never married and never had families.

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  7. Oh my, Davene. This wasn't your first time through and it was still this hard. Now I'm wondering how it will be for me when I (hopefully) read them to our children.

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  8. You are a softie! That said, I recently re-read several of the little house books, and was also struck by how vulnerable Ma and the girls were, and how the life that seemed so idyllic to Laura must have been terrifying at times to Ma. It goes to show, I think, how the love that her parents had for eachother and the family was the most important ingredient in making a a small child feel secure.

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  9. aww those pictures are adorable of your mom reading to her grandkids!! I got a little misty eyed just reading your summary. Will I ever try and read this to Sammy.. ooohh not so sure now!

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