Wrapping Up January

Somebody must have shortened January this year.  

Each year, when the last day of the first month rolls around, I can scarcely believe my eyes.  "Didn't this year just start?" is my refrain.  "And now one-twelfth of it is already gone?"  I always do this and then have to laugh a little at myself.

But this year--seriously--where did January go?  This swift passage of time proves one thing to me:  I'm really getting old.  :)

Here's the next proof of my increasing age:  I'm going to talk about the weather.  ;-)

So, what's up with this warmth?  Temps in the upper 60's on January 31?  That's not right, is it?  Even nature seems to be a mite confused, because my daffodils are popping up and daily I see robins hopping around in our yard.  As loath as I am to complain about the mildness of this winter, I am longing for at least one good snow to come soon.  That's really not too much to expect from a Shenandoah Valley winter, is it?

Meanwhile, while I scan the forecast for a dip in temperatures and look toward the sky for the sight of snow clouds, I'll keep savoring the spring-like weather.  The winter passes so much more pleasantly and easily when every few days, it's warm enough for the boys to go outside for some fresh air and exercise.  Today, for example, Josiah and David spent part of their quiet time reading outside on the trampoline.  They weren't wearing jackets and--shhhhh, they weren't even wearing socks.  ;-)

Here at the end of January, our winter schedule is in full swing:  choir for both Josiah and David on Monday evenings, violin lessons for those two on Wednesdays, swimming lessons for them on Saturday mornings.  Thankfully, the pace doesn't feel too busy; and the best part?  If Baby Girl stays put until close to her due date, both swimming lessons and the regular choir season will be over by the time she is born.  Although I was hoping to get pregnant sooner than we did, it's easy to see, with the perspective of hindsight, that God's timing for this pregnancy was better than ours.  No surprise there, however!  :)  If only I would remember this every time I chafe at His "slowness"!

Each Sunday, I've been reporting about my progress towards my one major goal of the year: arising consistently to give the first part of the day to God.  But now that the objective that I once considered unattainable has become almost second-nature to me, I feel ready to turn my attention to--and reveal publicly--other areas in which I have made some plans and set some goals for this year.  I purposely did not construct a long list of resolutions for the new year, because I know well how fun and easy it is to build such a list, but I'm also aware of how discouraging it can be to then be emotionally defeated as time goes by and the fruition is far off.  Particularly a year in which a new baby joins the family, there must be an abundance of grace and flexibility extended to oneself when it comes to plans and dreams!  But following behind my most-important goal for 2012 are some other thoughts, and I'll briefly share about two areas.

First, I'd like to read more books in 2012 than I did in 2011.  I don't have a set number in mind to shoot for; and because I did a very poor job of recording what I read last year, I don't even know how many I'll have to read to surpass 2011's total!  But I do want to be more intentional about reading, and wiser about using a few minutes here and a few minutes there to accomplish more productive reading.  Along with that, I don't want to read just fluff.  Specifically, I want to read at least one book this year that helps me in my relationship with each member of my family:  one marriage book, one book to help me understand Josiah more, one book for how I relate to David, etc.  I've already read one focusing on daughters (Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney) and one about marriage (We Should Do This More Often by Lorilee Craker).  For Josiah, I want to read On Becoming Preteen Wise by Ezzo and Bucknam; and for David, I plan to start again--and actually finish this time!--the wonderful book How to Get Your Child off the Refrigerator and on to Learning by Carol Barnier.  I haven't yet decided what to read to help me with Tobin and Shav.  Any suggestions?  Of course, I have a myriad of general parenting books that await me on my bookshelf; and any of them would be helpful.  Now that I think about it, I'd love to reread Small Beginnings by Barbara Curtis; but my copy of it (which revolutionized--no joke--my thinking when Josiah was a toddler) apparently grew feet and walked off, so I'll have to track down another copy.  That one will be great to help me in my relationship with Shav, but what for Tobin?  Well, I still have eleven more months to figure this one out.  :)

Besides that reading focused on family relationships, I also want to read more spiritual/devotional books; and since I'm having regular quiet time in the morning, that won't be hard to accomplish.  Ordinary Faithful People by Robert Hubbard was the first one I finished; and now I've picked up again Crazy Love by Francis Chan, a book I started a year ago but never got all the way through.

Not all of my reading has to be heavy though, and right now I'm loving the books of Bess Streeter Aldrich.  A Lantern in Her Hand is one of my all-time favorite books, but I've been able to get some of her other books at our local library and I'm enjoying them all.  I have to set boundaries for myself about how much time I allow myself to read when I sit down with one of her books!  :)

The second area in which I've made some plans is with housekeeping.  Every year, I want to set the goal of completely organizing and cleaning every single little thing in my house.  To declutter from top to bottom is my intention--a lofty pursuit, to be sure.  On top of that, every time I'm pregnant, guess what I want to do?  Organize the house from top to bottom, every square inch of it, every closet and drawer and nook and cranny.  Guess how often I've actually accomplished this?

Never.

That doesn't stop me though from dreaming about a perfectly-in-order nest in which to welcome our newest little one.  :)  This year, my plan was simple:  spend the month of January focused on the upstairs rooms, the month of February on the main floor, and the month of March on the downstairs (that level is impossible for me to actually accomplish because of the dreaded garage--and the library--neither of which I can completely organize because of Jeff's stuff...I'm not casting stones here, just saying that I don't want to get rid of something that is important to him).  Here at the end of January, I'm only a little behind.  I did completely clean and organize Tobin's room, Shav's room, my room, the upstairs bathroom, and the hallway;  Josiah & David's room, however, did not get done yet, but I made a start there this evening and hope to do more tomorrow.  The major setback though came from the renovation we started doing in Tobin's room.  I had optimistically (foolishly?) projected that we would be able to finish painting his room by his birthday so that we would be able to get things put back in place and then transition Shav to that room so that he would have plenty of time to adjust to it before the new baby is born.  In reality, we didn't even buy the paint until two days after his birthday; and although Jeff is doing a beautiful job with the painting, it takes time!  That room is currently in upheaval, of course; and that has overflowed to the hallway outside Tobin's room.  So even though I very nearly accomplished my January goal for the upstairs, it sure doesn't feel like it!  I try to keep my spirits up by telling myself that as soon as the painting is done, it won't take long at all to get the room back in order...and there is still more than two full months before the baby is due...so Shav will likely be quite well-adjusted to his new environment before the baby's birth.  That kind of self-talk helps when I'm feeling discouraged.  :)

Now that February is here, I'm "supposed" to be focusing on the main floor, which shouldn't be too hard of a job because the living room is completely organized and clutter-free, and the only thing that needs done on the porch is a reorganization of the homeschool closet (which is kind of a big project, but shouldn't be overwhelming).  The bathroom needs organized and cleaned, but that could be done in a day if I could have a little chunk of uninterrupted time.  The kitchen?  Well, that's the beast.  The surfaces are in pretty good shape, but what I'd really like to do is go through all the cupboards and clean and organize.  If you've seen my kitchen, you know why this is an imposing task; we're blessed with A LOT of cupboards!!  :)

I know, of course, that there is nothing sacred about these homemaking goals.  If the spices don't get organized before the baby is born, she won't care in the least.  :)  But still, I hope to see some progress in the next two months...for my own sake, more than for anyone else's.  :)

Two more things remain to be said in this January wrap-up.  First, as commonly happens to me in this first month of the year, I was seized recently by a powerful desire to make homeschool plans for next year.  :)  As a matter of fact, when I started jotting down my thoughts, I found myself actually planning for the next four years!  But then I got sad when I realized that after four years, Josiah will officially be a high schooler; to think that we've already had him for what is probably half of the amount of time he will live at home is sobering and makes me a little misty inside.  So then I stopped planning four years in the future and simply focused on the coming year.  :)  Even though I could have been using that time to do something more pressing and at-hand (organizing a kitchen cupboard, maybe?), I've learned that, when the creativity bubbles up inside me, if I ride that wave, I'll not regret it later but will be exceedingly thankful that, when I was feeling inspired, I captured those thoughts and ideas.  Enthusiasm is much harder to dredge up later, if not captured when it initially surges!

And secondly, January was the month in which I dove back into the world of Facebook.  After abandoning it last September, I toyed with the idea of using it again as this new year approached; and I have to say, I am very glad to be back on it, for many reasons--one of which is the way I can so quickly jot down something that happens that I want to remember later.  Conversations with the boys that would be lost otherwise can be instantly shared and recorded there; but speaking of recording things, I want to transfer to this blog some of my favorite Facebook status updates that I've posted this past month so that when I *someday* print this blog as a book, I'll capture those things I've shared on Facebook, too.

Jan. 30 -  Tobin, just now: "Mom," his eyes sparkled. "My best friend is our dad." Yep, it's true: Jeff has got quite a fan club. :) 


Jan. 29 -  David, during our mommy/son date tonight: "Why didn't God make like a million people so that we wouldn't have to have babies?" I held my tongue and refrained from telling him the whole scoop: that some people actually *enjoy* the process of making babies. ;-) Instead I told him that God loves people so much that He wants there to be more, just like every time we have a baby, my heart grows and loves even more, etc. It appears that these mommy/son dates are turning into Sex Ed nights! 


Jan. 28 -  When Jeff and I got home from our date tonight, Shav excitedly opened the door to the garage and exclaimed, "Mommy! Daddy!" David's response was a little different: "Awww, are you home already? I wanted to play longer!" He's never too thrilled about us coming home...guess that shows how much he loves his babysitters! :)


Jan. 27 - It doesn't seem right that "just" a trip to swimming lessons, Walmart, and the library should do me in; but as we neared the end of our trip, all I could think was, "God, please just help me get home!!" How do three errands and three boys (Josiah stayed at the barbershop after his swimming lesson) wear me out SO much??? :)


Jan. 26 - Tonight at supper, the word "menopause" came up in conversation; and my boys, not being familiar with it, inquired further. I wasn't at all sure what to say, but I finally came up with, "It's when a woman's body stops releasing eggs and she can't have babies anymore." David's response: "Are YOU a CHICKEN? Do YOU lay EGGS??" ;-)

Jan. 22 - I took Josiah on a mother/son date to Sweet Bee tonight; and when we got home, he said, "Can I hug you?" Of course! I'm not one to turn down hugs from my boys. :) Then he sighed happily and said, "Thanks for the wonderful date." As much as he loves sword fighting, Star Wars, and being The Defender of the Helpless, he also has such a tender heart. Some blessed girl is going to get a treasure in him someday!! :)

Jan. 21 - On our way home from dropping Josiah off at the barbershop (he hangs out with Jeff and sweeps the hair off the floor), we were talking about grandparents. The subject of Grandpa Fisher came up; and when I told Tobin that he had died before Tobin was born, Tobin said tearfully, "When can we get a new Grandpa Fisher?" Well, dear boy, he's not exactly replaceable!


Jan. 21 - I didn't anticipate that mopping ONE BATHROOM would necessitate a 15-minute recovery period on the couch, but that seems to be the case. If 11 more weeks pass and I'm eager to bring on labor, I'll know what to do: grab the mop. If just mopping a bathroom brought on so many Braxton Hicks contractions, surely mopping a whole kitchen would bring on real labor!! :)

Jan. 20 - What's making me smile right now? Baby Girl's hiccups. Have I mentioned recently that I love being pregnant?? Jeff, please remind me of this tonight when I can barely walk because of the pain in my lower back. ;-)

Jan. 19 - ‎"I love you, Mom. Thanks for being patient today," Josiah said to me as he kissed me goodnight a little bit ago. Oh my. Not only does he know how to melt my heart, but he also (unknowingly, I'm sure) knows how to convict me! I want to cry and promise that tomorrow, I'll try to be even more patient. Thank God that when our failures as parents are so glaringly obvious to us, our children are somehow merciful to us.

Jan. 14 - "Mommy?" Tobin's voice quavered through the darkness to me just now. Why is he still awake? I wondered. "I can't sleep because my pretend dog Molly keeps barking," he called out. Ah! Well, that explains it. Those pretend dogs sure can make sleeping difficult. ;-)


Jan. 13 - It really is the little things, ya know, that either bring great joy or nearly drive a person mad. Right now I'm teetering towards insanity. The culprit? Ants. Carpenter ants, I guess they are. They've invaded the upstairs, starting in Josiah and David's room. While researching how to get rid of them, I read something to the effect of, "Most exterminators agree that carpenter ants are the hardest pest to get rid of." Great. Even in this, I must be thankful.


Jan. 11 - Listening to rain fall on the roof and knowing that I don't have to go anywhere but can stay safely at home with the ones I love - ah! This has got to be one of the coziest feelings in the world.


Jan. 7 - Josiah asked me recently, "Why'd you get married so late?" Ha! I didn't realize getting married at age 21--three weeks after my college graduation--qualified as "late." Apparently he's planning to get married at age 19??? ;-)


Jan. 4 - Tonight in his prayer before bedtime, Shav thanked God for something really profound: the zipper on his sleeper. :)

Jan. 4 - I took the two little ones to town to run errands this morning and came home to discover that Jeff had made delicious chocolate chip cookies from scratch. He's a good man, that one. ;-)

OK, I have got to end this post; this is ridiculously long!  But one last picture from this evening...a quiet, peaceful evening at home (not all evenings at home are peaceful!)...Grandma reading to Tobin and Shav, Grandpa bending over a puzzle that Jeff and Josiah were also working on.  David was playing a game on the computer, and I was enjoying the time to finish the supper dishes without distractions.

The boys all went to bed peacefully tonight; and although we're finishing January, not December, it almost seems right to sing "Silent Night, Holy Night"!  :)

It was a good way to end a month.

And now February is here, with a new blog look, a new calendar page, and 29 sparkling days waiting to be filled!  Plus, a little holiday called Valentine's Day...  ;-)

The Richness of Both Experiences

Confession:  I started--and intended to finish--this post months ago.

Another confession:  I stole the title of this post.  It comes straight from a comment that dear Anne left on this post; and as soon as I read it, I realized that she had expressed EXACTLY how I was feeling.  Being a mother of sons is such an amazing privilege, and so is being a mother of daughters!  One is not better than the other in the least, but how delighted I am that God has seen fit to bless me with this double richness.  To know intimately what it is like to raise boys and now to raise a girl fills my heart with such thankfulness!

Sometimes I wonder to myself, "Will it really be that different?  After all, babies start out the same, being completely helpless, needing the loving care of a family for basic survival in every way.  Whether it's a girl-child or a boy-child doesn't change that."  But most of the time, I realize, "This is going to be like nothing I've ever done before."

When does the change happen, I wonder?   Besides basic anatomy and a need for different diaper-changing strategies for girls v. boys, when do the differences become apparent?  When does the way the child thinks, acts, communicates really set him or her apart as being male or female?  I'll let you know if I figure it out...  ;-)

Today I was looking through the pregnancy journal I meticulously filled out when I was carrying Josiah.  Like a typical first-time mother, I wrote in every blank and filled the picture pages completely.  Even though I wasn't blogging back in those days, my first pregnancy is certainly well-documented.  I LOVE that journal; and if there were ever a fire in our house, that is one of the things I'd like to grab on my way out the door!!  :)

On the page titled "Anticipation," I listed a number of things I was looking forward to as a mother:

~ holding my baby in my arms

~ rocking in the rocking chair

~ reading books to my child

~ taking pictures of the baby

~ nursing

~ going for walks with the baby in the stroller

~ introducing my little one to family and friends

~ loving Jeff in new ways as we love our child together

~ teaching my child the values and principles that my parents and the Bible have instilled in me

~ learning again

~ seeing the world in fresh ways

~ helping my child with schoolwork, and refreshing my memory about things I've forgotten (like long division!)  *as an aside, I had NOT A CLUE that I would ever homeschool my children; that was the furthest thing from my mind in those days  :)

~ making cookies together

~ teaching my child to play the piano

~ going to concerts together

~ going to the zoo, the park, the beach

~ reaching out as a family to other families

It occurred to me, as I was reading the list this afternoon, that all of those activities could be done with either a girl baby or a boy one; and as a matter of fact, when I wrote it, we did not yet know that Josiah was a boy.  I rejoice that I have been lavishly blessed with the opportunity to do these much-anticipated things, not just once, but four times so far with my four unbelievably precious sons.  I can hardly wait to do these things with my daughter, too!

But I almost want to start a new list.  I don't know exactly what I would put on it; but it would be the things I am looking forward to doing, AS A MOTHER OF A DAUGHTER.  Tea parties, for example.  Dressing paper dolls together.  Combing my girl's hair.  Choosing beautiful feminine clothes for her.  Talking, as she grows, about the wonder of being a woman.  Watching her develop the skills of homemaking, and giving her opportunities to pursue the areas that she is most interested in.  Giggling together.  

When it comes to mothering sons, I don't claim to be any kind of expert; but the 9+ years of experience that I have, combined with the insights I've gleaned from books and conversations, have given me some confidence that I know a little of what to expect from a man-cub.  Of course, there are still times when I feel utterly frustrated and can't decide between throwing my hands up in the air or pulling out great handfuls of my hair.  But in general, particularly with the younger boys, I don't feel completely clueless.

But with a daughter!  I suddenly realize that I have so much to learn!  As much as I seek to enhance and hasten my education by reading books and listening to the advice of others, I know full well that experience will be the teacher that truly educates me.  And there's no way to hurry that.

Rather than feeling nervous or anxious about this steep learning curve ahead of me, I mostly feel a deep, abiding sense of gratitude that I even have this opportunity.  Truly, I would have been thrilled to have another son.  But to be given a daughter is to be given the chance to taste a new flavor in life, to savor a unique parenting experience, to watch a different kind of child learn and grow.  As Anne said, it really is "the richness of both experiences."  

As our family has grown past the two-child model that is so common in America, I've thought this over and over: I'm so glad we didn't stop having children.  After Tobin was born, I thought, "I'm so glad we have him and not just Josiah and David."  After Shav came along, I thought, "I'm so glad we've been blessed with another one and didn't call it quits after Tobin."  And again, as I bear the joys and challenges of this pregnancy, I am reminded that I am so extremely glad we didn't stop with just four children.  

I would feel that way in either case--whether this little one was a boy or a girl.  But knowing that I'm carrying a daughter gives extra significance to my thanksgiving.

I hope this is coming across right.  I have many friends who have either all boys or all girls, and I don't want to say anything that would imply that they haven't been blessed as much as I have...or that, if they just kept trying, they would eventually get one of the opposite sex to "complete" their family...or that they're somehow missing out if they don't have both boys and girls.  Far, far, FAR from it!!   All I really want to do is share what's on my heart...and say THANK YOU to God for this precious gift.

What I want to say is that I have LOVED the years of being surrounded by my little men, the years of washing clothes in all shades of blue, the years of watching as my house was invaded by hordes of every kind of wheeled vehicle known to man, the years of being an audience as these boys fought and defended me against every kind of imaginary invader--from snakes and bears to Star Wars characters and assorted other "bad guys."  

But now a time is coming when a bit of pink will be seen in the house...

...and a flash of lace will temper the otherwise mostly-masculine atmosphere of our home.

I won't be the only female!  My daughter will be, in some ways, more like me than any other person on earth.  With amazement similar to Adam's, I feel like exclaiming, "She will be bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!"

With amazement and awe, I joyfully accept from the Lord the responsibility to be a mother to sons and now to a daughter.  With hands raised and a heart trembling, I say thank you to God for blessing me with the richness of both experiences.

*To read Anne's own reflections on this topic, click here for the very kind post she wrote back in November.

Nearly a Month Has Gone by...

...and I'm so grateful, both for the word that God gave me for this year, and the habit of arising that He has helped me develop.  Here, quickly, because I want to get to bed early enough to wake on time tomorrow, are some thoughts about this that I've gathered this week...

~ I haven't missed a morning; but once in a while, I don't hear my alarm when it first rings, and Jeff has to poke me so I get up.  ;-)  One unfortunate morning, I heard my alarm, got up, was SURE I turned off the alarm so it wouldn't continue to ding after its specified interval of minutes, but apparently was not successful in hitting the off switch.  I was downstairs reading my Bible and didn't hear a thing, but Jeff later told me that I had indeed not turned it off and he had to hear the rings and finally turn it off.  I didn't mean to do that!  :)

~ I finished Ordinary Faithful People this past week and really, really enjoyed it.  I feel kind of silly that it took me so many years to finally pull that book off the shelf and read it; but maybe God knew that, at this point in my life, I would be able to glean so much wisdom and encouragement from it, so He was saving it for me.  :)

~ Right now, I'm reading the book of Zephaniah.  It's not a very long book, so I won't spend too many days on it; but in reality, I do more than just read.  In fact, the first day I was studying that book, I read the entire thing to get an overview of Zephaniah's whole message.  But now I'm enjoying reading and studying in depth smaller portions of it so that I can really get a lot out of it.

~ My time with God zips by, and I'm realizing that it would really be great to have even more time so that I could read and study and learn even more.  :)  But as of yet, I haven't nudged my alarm clock any earlier.  In my mind, there's a huge difference between waking at, say, 6:55 and waking at, 7:00--a much bigger difference than the five minutes that it really is.  ;-)

~ So far, I've been spending most of the time reading and learning from His word, but I am recognizing that I don't want this to be a purely academic thing of adding to my knowledge.  Rather, I want it to be a profound deepening of relationship with my Savior; and to facilitate that, I know I need to spend more of the time in prayer.  Starting tomorrow, I'd like to spend the first few (at least) minutes of the time on my knees, before I even dive into the Word.

~ Even when I go to bed too late and I really would rather sleep longer in the morning, it's not too hard for me to get up because I've gotten lazy and have come to rely on the fact that almost always, there is a little gap of time before the boys get up and I can actually grab a little more shut-eye on the couch after I finish my reading.  Sometimes one of the boys will come down and snuggle with me while I drift off.  Sometimes Josiah will be up reading his Bible.  But quite a few mornings, I've been able to take a short power nap before I really have to get up and get on with my day.  As grateful as I am for the refreshment that those times bring, I do not, however, want to come to rely on them.  I still want to become more disciplined at night so I can get to bed on time and awake ready to get up--and, what's more, stay up!

~ I've enjoyed searching for some more songs with the word "Arise" in them, and this week I discovered this one.  It is glorious!  Besides the beautiful music, the words are powerful, ringing with truth, and calling the church to action.  Which reminds me that, now that the basic habit of arising in the morning for this time with God is in place, I want to grow past this.  I long for the word "arise" to come to signify so much more than simply waking up.  I look for an arising in other areas of my life, an onward journey towards maturity, and a look-beyond-myself shift in perspective.  To not just arise and sit at His feet (although that is the absolutely essential starting place), but to arise and FIGHT - that is my desire.  Here then is the song that reminds me of all of this...

Another View of Cozy

Our nursery--now functioning as Shav's room, but only for a little while longer before the new baby takes over--is one of my favorite rooms in the house...especially in the evening when the soft glow of the lamp makes it incredibly comforting and cozy.  I've mentioned that before.  ;-)

Last night, as Shav was in the bathroom standing on the stool to get a drink before bedtime (he's such a big boy now!), I was waiting for him to finish so I could tuck him into bed; but meanwhile, I caught another glimpse of this cozy scene.  This time, it was reflected in one of our Jerusalem mirrors that hangs on the wall of my bedroom opposite the nursery.  Not only was my heart warmed by the view of the lamplight in his room, but I also admired the way the scene was framed--twice.  Once by the door to Shav's room, and once by the mirror.

I don't expect this post to mean anything to anyone else, but capturing these tiny delicious slices of life is really what my blog is all about.  And the peaceful beauty of this scene is something I don't want to forget.  :)

That's Not the Purpose I Was Intending for These Keys...

...but at least, they're being put to good use somehow.

 Even if it is as a parking lot for Shav's cars.

 Educationally speaking, I suppose this is a good way for a two-year-old to learn about the sequence of two black keys followed by a group of three black keys?

OK, so I'm grasping at straws, trying to bring some musical worth out of this.  Maybe I should just give up...

...and laugh.  ;-)

Whodunit

I hope no one ever tells my boys that history is boring.

Well, even if someone did tell them that, they probably wouldn't believe it.  After all, they know that history is incredibly interesting because 1) it's a story, and who doesn't love a good story? and 2) most of the stories are about battles that took place in the past!  Reading about or listening to stories about war--boring?  Not a chance!

It's not at all uncommon for the battles we read about to be enacted here in our home with LEGOs; in fact, Josiah recently asked me to google how many soldiers are in a squadron so he could get his opponents set up realistically.  :)  So, after reading (in The Story of the World, Volume One--our main history text for this year) about the mythical minotaur who lived in the labyrinth under the palace  of Crete, it was a no-brainer to decide to do the optional activity: constructing a maze out of LEGOs and demonstrating Theseus making his way through the labyrinth with his cord so that he can kill the minotaur and still find his way out again.  That sounds like just the kind of activity my boys would love.

Josiah and David both set to work eagerly.  I had given them the option of working on this project together or separately, and they unanimously voted for separately.  In the end, we had two labyrinths; and my question to you is:  which boy constructed which maze?

Labyrinth A:

The cord tied to the doorway so poor ol' Theseus could make his way out of the maze...

The green block is the minotaur (or maybe it's Theseus...I can't remember)...

Labyrinth B:

I think the pink block is the minotaur and the yellow blocks to its left are the throne on which it sat.  Theseus would be the yellow-on-top-of-blue blocks to the right...and of course, the life-saving black cord is present.

Can you guess who did which one?  When we showed off the completed projects to Grandpa, Grandma, and Dad, two out of the three of them guessed correctly (Jeff was actually the one who got it wrong, but he was thinking too deeply and analyzing it more than he should have, I think..he should have taken it at face value).  :)




I'm not going to leave you in suspense, because I might forget to come back and put up a post revealing the answer and that's so frustrating to be left hanging (not that any of my readers would lose sleep over this, but still...I do want to be a considerate blogger).  So...




I don't have a good picture of the creator of Labyrinth A with his creation, but here is Labyrinth B's maker:

Yes, David made the colorful one.

Josiah's was the one with more muted, realistic colors.

As soon as I saw how these construction projects were developing, I couldn't help but think back to this post from 2008 which showed how differently Josiah and David painted an identical picture.  For all their similarities (same gene pool, same family, same basic upbringing, etc.), they certainly are unique in how they view the world...and in how they construct a labyrinth.  :)

A Peaceful Place Once More

Perhaps more than any other room of the house, one's bedroom should be a refuge--a place of order and beauty and peace.  However, as easy as it is to know that, it's much harder to put it into practice.  How many of us fall into the habit of making our bedrooms a dumping place for all kinds of junk that we don't know where else to put?!  I'll admit that I'm guilty of that!

During this month of January, I've been focusing my cleaning and organizing attempts on the upstairs, but I hadn't yet gotten to my bedroom.  Until yesterday, that is, when Jeff took all the boys with him to run some errands in the morning, gifting me with time--such a precious commodity!--in which to work on returning this room to its neat-and-tidy appearance.  With no interruptions, I was able to work quickly and get a lot done in the morning; but even still, I had to spend some time later in the afternoon and evening finishing it up entirely.  Oh, but what a satisfying feeling to be done!

As I worked, I remembered that quite some time ago (months, for sure, but I don't know how many!), I had done another major cleaning/organizing of my bedroom; and at that time, I had also taken pictures to post of the finished product.  Sure enough, languishing in my Drafts was a post with no words but with these pictures.  No matter that I meant to do this months ago--I'll just post them now!  

One thing has changed between the time these pictures were taken and the present:  the quilt that covers the bed in these pictures has been retired and laid away in our hall linen closet until such a time as I can figure out how to display it in some way that will not add to the wear and tear on it.  It was a surprise gift for us when we married; pieced by my mother and quilted by some Old Order Mennonite ladies (including the mother of our current next-door neighbor, of whom we are very fond), it shocked and delighted me when I opened the box containing it at our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding.  It has been well-used and much-loved through the years; but now, it's grown so old that the fabric itself is wearing out, leading to little tears along a number of seams.  I wanted to do all that I could to preserve its life, so I took it to two quilt "experts" in the Old Order community to get their advice and possibly have them repair it.  Sadly, they told me nothing really could be done for it, except perhaps to find a wall on which to display it and enjoy it that way.  One thing is for sure:  if it remained on our bed, those seams and that weak fabric would be tested often, because our boys love to play, jump, wrestle, etc. on our bed.  And I am not about to shriek, "No, you can't do that here!"--even for a cherished quilt.  People before things...every time.  :)

Speaking of boys...and jumping...and bedcoverings...  At the end of this post, there is a short video that happens to show what is currently covering our bed.  Other than that, I think these pictures are fairly accurate, even though they were taken quite a long time ago.

From the hall looking in...in this picture, the doorway to the nursery which opens off our room is visible, too...

Navy blue and white has been my favorite color combination since...well...forever.  ;-)  Long before we even moved here, I had imagined these walls being painted this color; and I've never regretted choosing such a dark color.

The heart-shaped pillow on the bed was made by our dear friend Natasha in Israel and given to me for my birthday which happened to fall a few months before we moved back to the States.  That pillow was one thing I knew I would make room for so I could bring it back with me!  It serves as a precious reminder of our loved ones there.

I forgot to mention another change in the room.  That chair by the bookshelf (which came from my grandparents' old farmhouse in Pennsylvania) is now at my parents' house; and in its place is a wooden rocking chair that used to be in our living room.

This beautifully-done cross-stitch of the blessing, "The Lord bless thee and keep thee..." was done by my good friend Judy and was a wedding gift.

This switchplate was there when my parents lived here, but I liked it so much that I decided not to change it. It goes with the wall color and includes old books, pretty teacups, and blooming roses.  What's not to love? :)

I had previously written the story and significance of this figurine; click here if interested!  I still love it so much.

This wall-hanging and frame was a surprise gift from Jeff one Christmas.  It's pretty much a safe guess that anything sweet and sentimental and mother/child related will make me happy.  :)

I really, really, really love this corner of the room.  I've spent hours here nursing and/or rocking my children; and in fact, that glider rocker was a gift from Jeff for my birthday way back in 2002 when we lived in San Diego and were expecting Josiah.

I had envisioned how this corner would be, with the maternity photos, the shelves, the pictures of the boys hanging from the pegs, etc.  I know you can't see the details really well in this picture, but I'll just say that it turned out every bit as nicely as I wanted it to.  One special thing that I didn't imagine was the name and meanings signs that a dear friend Valerie made, one for each of the boys; those are in the frames on these shelves.  This area delights my heart so much that I could just sit and look at it and absorb the sweetness.  Sometimes I do just that!  :)

These candleholders were cheap, but just what I wanted for the wall above our bed.  Of course, having gorgeous paintings by Jeff's dad to hang on our walls is icing on the cake!

I wrote about this woman-in-prayer figurine here.

I wrote about these Roman shades here.

The books on these shelves are mostly about marriage/family/women's issues.  I haven't read all of them, but I have gleaned so many gold nuggets of wisdom from them through the years...and I look forward to learning much more from them as I read some for the first time and reread others.

Now, for that video I mentioned earlier.  While I was folding laundry this morning, Shav was having a ball "jumping" on my bed; and his joy was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile as I watched him.  I went for the camera to record a little bit of the action, and "little bit" is right.  The batteries died soon after I started.  At least I got a snippet of this to remember in years to come!  

That bedcovering--the one that replaced the worn quilt--cost all of about $15.  When I realized that the quilt wasn't going to make a comeback and that I would need to find something to replace it, I was tempted to look for another quilt or some kind of comforter that would invariably cost a lot more than $15!  But while thumbing through a catalog one day, I spotted this bedcovering--it's actually a glorified fleece blanket--and since I loved the colors, the design, and the price, it wasn't hard to decide to get it.  Maybe someday I'll have a quilt again...or some kind of fancier-than-fleece comforter.  But for now, I'm well satisfied with what we have.

Satisfied.  Yes, when I look around my bedroom, I feel a pleasing sense of satisfaction; but it is SO much more than that.  With reminders of my dear ones tucked all around, I feel absolutely lavished with love.  And now that the closets are all organized, the top of the bookshelf dusted, the piles of laundry put away, and the other miscellaneous items assigned a spot and restored to order, it's true:  my bedroom is a peaceful place once more.  

How long can I keep it that way??  :)

Even in the Little Things

When each of our sons was born, we were part of a warm, caring congregation who rejoiced with us in the birth of a child and eagerly welcomed that child into the church family.  With Josiah, this happened in San Diego; with David, it was in Israel; and with Tobin and Shav, it was in a church that meets just down the road from us here in Virginia.  Although with all of our pregnancies except the first, we didn't really need much in the way of material things, we were still abundantly blessed by the generosity of those congregations.  Specifically, in the cases of Tobin and Shav, the church followed their tradition of giving, on the occasion of the baby's dedication, each child a quilt made by the women of the church.  Those quilts are still treasured and used by my two youngest sons.

This time around, things are different.  One of the consequences of this spiritual pilgrimage we've been on for the past few years, as we visited quite a few different congregations, is that we haven't been settled in one place to connect deeply with one particular church family.  Much more could be said about this--both the pros and cons of this desert-wandering--but as it relates to this post, let me just say this:  when I found out I was having a girl, I knew I wanted a special blanket or quilt for her.  Something that could be uniquely hers, something on which I could take my daughter's monthly pictures (as I've seen other bloggers do with their children during the first year of life, and have wanted to imitate), and, of course, something pretty and feminine.  :)  If I could quilt, I would have tried to make one of my own.  If I could knit or crochet, I would have done it that way.  Unfortunately, although my female ancestors possessed those abilities in abundance, I apparently missed out when that gene got passed along, because I am all thumbs--and a blank, befuddled brain--when it comes to any of those pursuits!  

So there I was, desiring a special quilt for Baby Girl, but not being able to make one for her and knowing that no congregation would be blessing us with one either.  I wasn't bitter about that, just aware that our choices in regards to church membership had put us in this position.  As a result, should I buy a quilt or blanket for our baby?

While I was still mulling this over several months ago, who should appear on my doorstep but Lisa with several bags bulging with baby clothes her daughter had outgrown.  And not only clothes, but a quilt.  This quilt.  This beautiful, feminine, pink-and-purple-and-green, hearts-and-flowers-and-butterflies quilt.

 The perfect quilt for my little girl.

 I could not have asked for a better quilt; it is exactly what I would have chosen, given a choice.

Lisa might have thought, on that November day, that she was just giving me a quilt.  But what she was actually handing me was a vivid, unforgettable, oh-so-comforting reminder that, even in the little things, God cares for me.

Even when we wander through the spiritual wilderness with loneliness as our most-present companion, God cares for us.  Even when we have desires that we know are silly (after all, it's certainly not a necessity to take monthly pictures of my daughter on a special quilt), God intimately knows the dreams that are most precious to us, and He cares for us.

Even in the little things.

Wordless Wednesday {She's an Outdoor Dog. Usually.}

There's a Joseph in Our House

Maybe I should just be grateful that he pays attention when we read the Bible.  But for some reason, I feel a little concerned that out of all the profound insights my dearly-loved David could have gotten from the account of Joseph, he seems to have only learned one lesson:

All my brothers should bow down to me.

Of course, he's much too polite to actually say that, but when night after night, I go into the bathroom and discover this...

...what am I to think?  Clearly, the owner of the blue toothbrush (that would be David) is on some sort of quest to establish dominance.

In the Bible, Joseph had dreams about things like sheaves of wheat bowing down...and the sun, moon, and stars.  But I bet if he and his brothers had had toothbrushes, Joseph might have arranged them like this.  ;-)

22 Days In...

...and I'm thankful that every morning of this new year, I've been able to arise when my alarm goes off and spend time with God first thing, before the rest of the day's activities begin.  After three weeks of this, it should be a habit by now, right?  :)

I have recently developed a problem, however.  I'm getting so used to the gentle sound of my alarm clock's first ding that I don't even hear it.  This morning, for example, Jeff--who unfortunately, does hear the alarm--had to wake me up.  Hopefully my mind will do a better job this week of tuning into that sound so I can respond quickly and hop out of bed before the second ring.

As smoothly as this has gone, it's almost hard for me to remember how nervous I was about it, about making this public commitment to a consistent wake-up/devotional time.  My faith was shaky, to say the least.  But I've discovered again how faith-building it is to take on a challenge and conquer it.  Seeing growth produces zeal for more growth!  So many times, I feel like my growth is occurring at such a snail's pace that I wonder if I'm even moving in the right direction at all.  In times like that, it is incredibly helpful to remember past obstacles that have been surmounted.  For example (and this is kind of embarrassing for me), ever since we moved here back in 2005, I have had a TERRIBLE problem with accumulating a towering mountain of paperwork and assorted "junk" on one of the counters in my kitchen.  I truly felt like I would never be able to get rid of that mountain--and what's more, keep from building it again.  I could just picture my children sorting through it after my death someday and them saying to each other, "Our crazy mother!  Why in the world did she keep receipts from way back in 2011, and here's the owner's manual for a CD player that started working 30 years ago, and look, I found a note in childish writing that says, 'I love you, Mom.' But it doesn't say which one of us wrote it or when, so it's into the trash heap for it.  I sure wish Mom had done a better job of getting rid of junk!"

Somehow, although I'm still not sure how, things clicked for me in this area towards the end of last year, and amazingly, I've been able to keep that counter almost completely clutter-free.  For me, that accomplishment is HUGE--nearly as big as being able to get up on time every morning to spend time with God.  For others, it might not seem like much.  For me, these are two of the earth's highest peaks, and I--with God's ever-present help--have climbed them.

But here's the thing:  as I practice this habit of Arising and this part of my schedule becomes more disciplined, I see other areas to work on--bedtime, for example!  Too many nights, I'm still hanging on to the peace and quiet of a darkened, still house and time to read and write all by myself.  :)  I still need to figure out how to get myself into bed earlier.  Sigh... But one mountain at a time!  :)

And speaking of mountains...  I wasn't familiar with this song before this year began, but I discovered it while doing a search for songs with the word "arise."  The scenery is impressive, to say the least.  Doesn't it just make your spirit soar to witness the majesty and beauty of God's creation?

Being a Brother

Tonight I'm loving...

~ these LEGO-buildin' boys ~

 ...and...

~ this quote ~

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.

~ Marc Brown ~

I am deeply content.

It Took Him Two Years to Do It, But...

...I think it's safe to say that Shav has finally--and I don't even know how to write it in such a way that it conveys the level of emotion I want to put into it--become a good sleeper.  My relief and gratitude are enormous.

(These are photos from long ago--maybe 9 or so months ago, in fact?  But since I never posted them, I decided to include them here as I look back at one aspect of Shav's life so far.)

Some of you who have known me for a while and have read this blog for several years might remember, in the back corners of your mind, that I had occasionally mentioned various sleep troubles that Shav was having.

Or maybe you don't remember, and that's OK; but simply for the sake of my own memory and convenience (so I have all of this information in one location), I'm going to link to some previous posts that mentioned his sleeping issues:
~ Shav was two months old, not sleeping through the night, and I was extremely tired.
~ Right after that discouraged post, Shav slept through the night for the first time.
~ Shav was four months and doing fantastic with nighttime sleep.
~ At five months, he had regressed to multiple night wakings.
~ Six months, and still doing terribly with sleep.
~ At seven and a half months, he took a fall that completely ended his thumb-sucking; and never again did he self-soothe by sucking on something.
~ By nine months, he usually made it through the night without needing me, but occasionally I nursed him.
~ When Shav was eleven months, I mentioned in this post that we were focusing on sleep-training again with him.
~ The month after Shav turned a year old, I poured out my heart as I wrote about my deep discouragement because of his lack of solid sleep skills.
~ By 14 months, he was doing better; but this post mentions a relapse.
~ In this 15-month post, I rejoiced in Shav's successes in the area of sleep.
~ When he was about 17 months, I wrote this post in which I puzzled and agonized over what was going on with Shav's sleep--specifically, his dislike of me comforting him (and I added more info in this follow-up post).
~ In this short post from the beginning of this year, I mention that his night wakings have continued.
~ In this Who-Shav-Is-at-18-Months post, I rejoiced that he had improved significantly in the area of sleep.

There's another post that should be included in this list; the only reason it's not is because I never wrote it.  But floating around in my head quite a few months ago was an idea for a post titled "Making Peace with Night Wakings," the gist of which was the fact that although Shav was still waking up most nights, I had come to grips with it because when he cried out, I would go to him, pick him up, give him a drink of water from a sippy cup (every night, in those days, I took a sippy cup of water upstairs with me and set it on my dresser, knowing that there was a good chance he would want a drink in the night), let him rest his head on my shoulder as I held him close for a little bit, then lay him back in his crib where he would get himself back to sleep again.  Even though it was a sleep interruption, it was a quick, easy one; and I had even come to appreciate that chance to spend a moment or two peacefully loving on Shav.  It was a nice post.  Too bad it never made it out of my head and onto the blog!

If I had written the next post in the saga of Shav and sleep, it would have been sometime after his second birthday; and in that post, I would have cautiously expressed my optimism that his sleep habits were actually definitively and permanently improving!  Now that he's already six months (to the day) past that birthday (happy half-birthday, sweet Shav!), I'm finding the details a little fuzzy in my head; but if my memory is correct, it really was right around the time he turned two that he showed the dramatic improvement that I had been looking for and longing for.  I don't know why the turn-around happened then.  Did he suddenly gain the maturity to calm himself when he woke in the night?  Did some physical discomfort he had been having go away?  I do remember that I had learned to watch him closely for signs of constipation since I had suspected that it might be causing pain which was waking him and making him inconsolable; and when he seemed to be heading down that road, I would spring into action and do everything I could to...ahem...help things along in that area.  (I'm sure he'll LOVE reading this in about 10 years.)  ;-)  But bottom line (pun totally intended), his improvement in the area of sleep was almost as mysterious as his troubles with it had been in the first place.  I never really figured either out.

Maybe I've said this before, but having three children who were TERRIFIC sleepers had made me wonder how in the world I would ever survive having one who wasn't (although I thought surely all of mine would be, because the only people who had children who were challenging sleepers were those poor souls who didn't do a good job of sleep training!).  Josiah, David, and Tobin had all responded extremely well to the principles of a loose, flexible Babywise philosophy; and I had delighted in the great sleep I started getting just two or three months postpartum in each case.  I'm not sure it ever occurred to me that it would be different with Shav.  Why would it be, after all?  I would treat him the same way, use the same eat-play-sleep basic schedule, and he would follow in his big brothers' footsteps by sleeping through the night sometime between 8 and 12 weeks of life!  News flash:  Shav wasn't a carbon copy of his older siblings, and he didn't respond the same way.  And I got to eat a huge slice of humble pie.  I hereby formally apologize to any mothers out there upon whom I looked down in my naive arrogance!!!

As Shav grew and developed and rode the roller coaster of great sleep followed by lousy sleep (forcing me to unhappily ride that roller coaster with him), I searched for the answer to his night wakings and grew increasingly desperate.  I never thought I would be able to handle TWO YEARS of unpredictable sleep.  As a matter of fact, I am rejoicing that I did not know, when he was born, what awaited me in that regard!  But now, six months after the major victory, what stands out to me is this:  I did it.  Night after night, I laid in bed, body tense as I heard his first cry, wondering whether he would settle down by himself, need me to soothe him briefly, or go into one of his intense periods of crying in which he refused to be consoled.  One night at a time, I tried to meet his needs, even when I didn't understand them, with as much peace and compassion as I could muster up when my own body was crying out for the refreshing unconsciousness of sleep.  The wheels of time rolled; and even when I didn't feel like it, they were bringing me closer to the point when Shav could join the ranks of Super Sleeper.  And by God's grace, I dealt with each night and nurtured Shav through that rough, long period of time.

As I look back, I see how, by having to deal with the mountain of sleep disruptions, that mountain shrank and become a molehill.  The anxiety and flat-out fear that I had carried with me when I thought about having to get up every night for an extended period of time has been replaced with a sense of peace and a perspective that is much healthier than the one I had 2+ years ago.  As I look ahead to the future and the changes that are coming my way in approximately two and a half months, I don't fret the way I used to when I think about getting up in the night with our new baby.  To be sure, I hope and pray that she is a good sleeper!  I'd love to be able to say she was sleeping through the night by the time she was just a few months old.  But I don't feel burdened by a sense of dread and despair when I consider the possibility that, in the area of sleep, she may take after her next oldest sibling more than the older three.

These days, as a two-and-a-half-year-old, Shav sleeps through the night almost every night.  Once in a while, I'll hear him awake and stir around; sometimes he'll laugh, sometimes he'll start talking to the cars and trucks he takes to bed with him.  :)  Usually he goes back to sleep with no assistance, and gratefully, so do I.  But occasionally, he'll call out, "Mom!"  I'll go to him, pick him up, give him a hug, and listen to his request--often for a drink of water.  If that's what he wants, I'll lay him back in his crib with a promise that I'll be right back.  I'll tiptoe downstairs, get a sippy cup and put water in it, then carry it back up to him.  With that in hand, he's content; and I'll tuck the blanket under his chin before I blow him a final kiss and shut the door behind me.  It doesn't happen often; but when it does, it's no longer cause for consternation for either of us.

Soon we'll be moving him to Tobin's room, where Shav will get to sleep in the bottom bunk (a double bed) and Tobin will graduate to the top.  I'm sure that transition will take some time for both of them to adjust to, but I'm not worried.  Although I wouldn't have chosen the two years of sometimes agonizing sleep issues that accompanied Shav, I am 100% certain that if not for that experience, I would not be nearly this calm as I think about the interrupted sleep that is fast approaching--possibly from Shav in his new bed and certainly from our baby girl.  "The testing of your faith produces patience," James, the brother of Jesus, teaches us.  So it does.

I didn't know that those night wakings I dreaded so fiercely were actually working to bring about a valuable maturity in me.  Patience.  Calmness.  Serenity.  Steadiness.  Thank You, God, for using this little darling...

...to teach me so much.